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Discussion Starter #1
My husband of 30 years has always wanted to write a book. The topic he found the most interesting was internet porn. He wrote about the women on the internet and how their life circumstances brought them there. I am fine with this part.
Unfortunately, he has continued the relationship with one of the women-she's in the Ukraine, we are in the US. They talk everyday either chatting or skype. They have sent each other gifts.
I told my husband that this bothers me a lot, that it feels like he is having an emotional affair. He gets angry with me and tells me that he has no intention of giving up the relationship with this woman, that she has become one of his best friends. He said that she gives him something that he doesn't get from me.
I don't know what to do. I work part time, but I don't make enough to support myself, I have been looking for a full time job for 5 years. What should I do?
 

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Hi,

Just a thought: there is a big chance this lady is a con artist,

Next she will ask for money.

Is there a way if subtly letting your husband see stats about how many of these relationships are actually stings?

Other than that I fear you will have to take a firm line. He is checking out of your marriage.

Perhaps try 'The 180' (ignore him, withhold sex) but that may be dangerous here.

Has he done anything like this in the past?
 

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OP,
Yours is an uphill battle.
These Ukrainian girls are known for two things.
Their exotic beauty
Their cunning ways.
She is just after his money. His head is buried deep in you know what part of her anatomy. My guess is that she's a young woman in her early 20's , and probably came from a tough economic background.

She will ask him for money , the relationship will progress to web cam.
These girls most of the time work for handlers or pimps. All of her conversations with him are most likely monitored by them.

If you can get your husband's brain out from between her legs you may have a chance to protect him and your marriage.
If not,
Then organize your finances and seek legal advice from a good divorce lawyer.
 

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Don't fear divorce. If you go that route you'll be able rob him and get alimony with our current justice system.

To make the marriage work, he needs to end this EA.

EAs destroy marriages so you have to be completely firm and staunch.

Anything less than telling him to move out or filing divorce won't cut it.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Yes, he has done this before. I have struggled with depression for the past 10 years. I changed immensely (I struggle with cleaning, I rarely -if ever- cook, I used to be super mom. I do take medication and see my psychiatrist regularly. I have gotten slightly better, but nothing like I used to be.
He did this 3 years ago when he contacted an old girlfriend, they talked and texted every day. They would meet during the day to go for walks, to movies and out to eat (without me knowing). He was just seeking a friendship and it was not physical. I kicked him out for a month that time and he portrayed me to family and friends as someone who went nuts - off my rocker.
He severed that relationship and moved back home, then came the porn queen.
 

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Snoop, save evidence, lawyer up and plan the timing: kicking him out again, filing for divorce and full exposure to friends/family.
Then grab the popcorn and watch the fireworks.
 
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