Joined
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61 Posts
Come again another day.. (sorry lol)
My husband and I have had issues in the past with porn.. won't go into the details. But he promised to not look at it anymore, not even for me but for himself. He is religious and decided it didn't make him feel good, and felt it did have a negative effect on some marriages.. it did on ours for a while.
Fast forward..I've just had my second kid and feeling pretty insecure..but I also have been bumping up the sex and my willingness to try new things to improve our sex life and make us grow closer. I've been willing to try pretty much anything for my husband and go above and beyond for him with the exception of a threesome (we're both against that). I get a power high from knowing how I effect him and I know he has been enjoying it too.
Even been thinking about allowing porn into the marriage, if he's comfortable with it.. Maybe it's a bad idea though? We have had so many problems with it in the past. He's lied to me about it and always done it behind my back. In the beginning I even offered to watch it with him so I felt less cheated on..but he didn't seem too interested in that. After I had our first child, I found some porn on his phone but felt so detached and numb towards him it didn't bother me as much..I was just disappointed he messed up (again). But we're all human and make mistakes, and he was very remorseful. However..after that he never did the things necessary to earn back my trust. Always had private browsing on his phone turned on (when I'd turn it off, he'd go back and turn it back on..) so I could never see the history. I will stop looking when he's willing to prove to me he's not doing anything behind my back. And come on..I'm not stupid. He's hiding something for a reason.. I'd LOVE to be able to trust him again but he just wasn't taking the steps to earn back my trust. Anyway, through all of that he still said he wasn't looking at it and never would. He said he wanted to from time to time, which is understandable. It offers an easy release for him..and I am all for masturbation.
We got into a really bad fight last night because I found some more porn on his phone, only this time he blamed ME for him looking at it. He said he did it to me to get back at me for a fight we had gotten into last weekend. What the hell...really???
What do I do? Any advice is appreciated..ask any questions you need to. I'm sorry if I haven't provided enough information in advance. I'm just tired of this. I am doing all I can do make HIM happy. He deserves to be happy. And he is a good man..totally worth the fight. I'm not an easy person to be with.. I'm trying to be better. I have depression, insecurity issues sometimes, trust issues...etc. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt though. It makes it hard when he keeps acting like he's hiding something. He also said he was acting like he was hiding stuff to get back at me.. but I don't know if I believe him. There is obviously a lot of resentment in our relationship on both sides.
My husband and I have had issues in the past with porn.. won't go into the details. But he promised to not look at it anymore, not even for me but for himself. He is religious and decided it didn't make him feel good, and felt it did have a negative effect on some marriages.. it did on ours for a while.
Fast forward..I've just had my second kid and feeling pretty insecure..but I also have been bumping up the sex and my willingness to try new things to improve our sex life and make us grow closer. I've been willing to try pretty much anything for my husband and go above and beyond for him with the exception of a threesome (we're both against that). I get a power high from knowing how I effect him and I know he has been enjoying it too.
We got into a really bad fight last night because I found some more porn on his phone, only this time he blamed ME for him looking at it. He said he did it to me to get back at me for a fight we had gotten into last weekend. What the hell...really???
What do I do? Any advice is appreciated..ask any questions you need to. I'm sorry if I haven't provided enough information in advance. I'm just tired of this. I am doing all I can do make HIM happy. He deserves to be happy. And he is a good man..totally worth the fight. I'm not an easy person to be with.. I'm trying to be better. I have depression, insecurity issues sometimes, trust issues...etc. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt though. It makes it hard when he keeps acting like he's hiding something. He also said he was acting like he was hiding stuff to get back at me.. but I don't know if I believe him. There is obviously a lot of resentment in our relationship on both sides.