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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Yesterday I've found a text message on my husband's phone. I've saved it for myself but since I don't see here any attachment options than here it is:
[B]"Hey giving u a heads up! Wanna do a drive-by? I'm all alone"[/B]
For me this message indicates that there is a habitual thing going on. I do not want to stir anybody's oppinion but to me it sounds like a line from a cheap porn.
The shocking thing is that this woman is my husbands cousin!!! I found it strange that when 11 years ago my husband inrtoduced me to his family this cousin kissed my husband (who was my fiance at that time) on the lips. As I've found out there is amost on a daily basis communication with this cousin. My husband deletes the in and outcomming calls to her from his phone. I'm sick to my stomack from this. If you are a sane adult please let mi know what do you think. Thank you!
 

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Did he reply? When you found it did you reply for him?

Relationship doesn't sound normal.....are you absolutely sure she's a 'cousin'?

Something doesn't seem kosher here.........
 
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Stay quit and continue to investigate...trust your gut and get the tools that will prevent you from getting decieved.

He's hidding something and that ain't right!
 

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the i'm all alone part is the clincher.

try this......there are free online sites where you can make a call and have someone elses # come up on caller id.

when he is home...call her # showing his # on the caller id and then hang up when/if she answers. if his phone rings immediately afterwards and he lies etc....or look for her to text him...etc.

you could just bust him right there.
 

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Sorry.
Doesn't look good but I agree with others, if you can sit on it for a while, you need to gather some more evidence before confronting H.
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Unfortunately I have confronted him last night and I'm still waiting for an answer. My husband has the tendency to find or create an issue to attack me and he is talking about me and not himself. At this point if I don't get an answer and proof about this stomach turning situation than I have to swallow that proof that this marriage is over.
 

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Unfortunately I have confronted him last night and I'm still waiting for an answer. My husband has the tendency to find or create an issue to attack me and he is talking about me and not himself. At this point if I don't get an answer and proof about this stomach turning situation than I have to swallow that proof that this marriage is over.
If your still waiting on an answer then I think he's still trying to think of an excuse ... any excuse as lame is it may be. If there was nothing going on ( with his own cousin no less ????? ) then he would had simply given you a straight answer without thought nor guilt ??

Good luck but it may be time to cut your losses and move on !?
 

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Their is a app that cost about 50 dollars that you can download onto his phone. ( If he has a phone it will work with, they give you a list) He won't know it's on their and everytime a text comes in or out it will go to a databank and you check it from another computer. It won't matter if he is deleting them. Search it on google. Heck you can even download a tracker on his phone and you will know where he is.
 

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Why does he delete messages and calls from ANYONE?

C
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I do this out of habit from being in IT. As an administrator, logs fill up quick and I usually go through my phone, as well as my wife's and delete them.
 

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Unfortunately I have confronted him last night and I'm still waiting for an answer. My husband has the tendency to find or create an issue to attack me and he is talking about me and not himself. At this point if I don't get an answer and proof about this stomach turning situation than I have to swallow that proof that this marriage is over.
You got your answer.
 

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I feel for you. There is nothing worst than finding something deceptive in the making. I've found that when I suspect something is wrong it's because there is something wrong. My husband also deletes e-mails/texts all of the time. I too have thought it was deceptive, but, he is in IT and is just weird about everything being "clean". I'll be honest, although my husband works from home and is pretty much never away from me with the exception of small errands, I still wonder. To me, just the practice of deleting messages is just exhausting. Maybe I am being deceived as well.

I guess we'll find out. Good luck to you and I am sure you will find the strength to deal with whatever is thrown your way. Stay strong!
 

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Unfortunately I have confronted him last night and I'm still waiting for an answer. My husband has the tendency to find or create an issue to attack me
That's abuse.

He's already gotten together with the cousin to get their story straight.

What we learn is that we cannot tolerate the abusive behavior above in a marriage. We don't argue about it. We don't explain. We tell them the consequences of noncompliance, and we must have the self-respect to follow through with them.
 

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He invited her over to your house when you were not there?

Maybe you could put a couple of VARs (voice activated recorders) in the house. Then go out for something so that he knows you will be gone for several hours.

Tell him a few days in advance that you are making plans to go out. Then see what happens.

You could even watch the house and see if she shows up.
 
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