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How about when giving H a BJ...and you look up and see he’s reached for his phone and is playing a game......yup...no joke....this happened.

For the 2nd time. First time...I put it down to a bad decision on his part.....the 2nd.....I’ve never given him a BJ since....

Must have been a [email protected]#$ty experience for him...NOT....Well....he won’t have to worry about that now will he..his loss.

That is the epitome of not being present when your wife is willingly meeting your needs....ugghhh

Wow, my god I hope you stick with the no bj plan forever!

What an ass. I still can't believe he did that. Probably watchin porn on his phone.
 

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She spent the entire time at dinner and later at the show texting her GFs. At one point when the show was nearly over she asked "so, did you hear any songs you had heard before?" When I responded "every single one of them, you might have heard them too if you hadn't been glued to your phone!" She said "I was multi-tasking"
I took my wife to a country concert (I really don't like the band at all but knew she did). She spent the entire time on her phone, taking selfies, posting them to Instagram, texting friends, updating Facebook. I finally just said let's get out of here, I don't even like this band and you're on your phone the entire time, let's beat the traffic. She was pissed but whatever, I'm not sitting in 2 hours of traffic getting out of the lot if we stayed, when she can just text in the car on the way home.

If my marriage crashes and burns, I swear I will never date a woman with a really active social media profile ever again (HUGE red flag to run!). I want a nice, introverted, homebody who is nice, with a close group of friends and no desire to try and impress "friends" (really strangers) on their social media feeds 24X7. I find it vapid and pathetic, it screams of low self-esteem and desperate for non-stop attention (attention whoring).
 

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I took my wife to a country concert (I really don't like the band at all but knew she did). She spent the entire time on her phone, taking selfies, posting them to Instagram, texting friends, updating Facebook. I finally just said let's get out of here, I don't even like this band and you're on your phone the entire time, let's beat the traffic. She was pissed but whatever, I'm not sitting in 2 hours of traffic getting out of the lot if we stayed, when she can just text in the car on the way home.

If my marriage crashes and burns, I swear I will never date a woman with a really active social media profile ever again. I want a nice, introverted, homebody who is nice, with a close group of friends and no desire to try and impress "friends" (really strangers) on their social media feeds 24X7. I find it vapid and pathetic, it screams of low self-esteem and desperate for non-stop attention (attention whoring).
My ex was the epitome of self centered-ness. She would rather have a thousand FB likes than the love of a man who had adored her. She would measure how many likes or holiday ir friends she had on FB with our teenage daughter. She would come home from getting her haircut. I would tell her her hair looks nice and she would blow it off. Then she would post a pic on FB and have all of her acolytes sing her praises about how beautiful she was etc, she would send "blushy face" emoticons in response. I got to the point of not even bothering.

I certainly hope you are able to save your marriage. In the end, my ex decided she was too big for such a mundane existence. Or at least I was not a big enough draw for such a bright light. Oh well, I am better off without her, the drama and the high maintenance.
 

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It's kind of an unspoken rule with us that phones not be used at the dinner table, when we're eating out (unless communicating for logistics), or when we're deep in conversation.

I've been guilty of using my phone at inappropriate moments, usually when I have to fight a fire over email, but I apologize right away.
 

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It's kind of an unspoken rule with us that phones not be used at the dinner table, when we're eating out (unless communicating for logistics), or when we're deep in conversation.
Our unspoken rule is dinner is reading material and device free (camera excepted ;)), but for breakfast and lunch it's OK to futz on a device or read (digital or analog). When we eat out we usually walk and don't even take our phones.
 

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I've given up competing against the damned phone. If I see her on her phone, I don't even try and engage, and just go find something else to do.

This was not a problem when we first started dating as she was too poor to afford a smart phone and data plan, and all her facetweetogramming had to be done on a desktop computer. It wasn't until we moved in together and I brought my laptop into the house that the mobile part took hold. When we finally got a phone plan together with a smart phone for her, that was the beginning of the end. She is not as bad as some when it comes to collecting the currency of "likes", but it sometimes seems to be her personal mission to correct people who are wrong on the internet, and whoo boy, she finds lots of them.

Back in the day when I actually bothered to call her out, she liked to throw out the "multi-tasking" line, and I would ask her something about what I had been saying, at which point, the fallacy of "multi-tasking" was exposed, but it never really made any difference. The addictiveness of the phone was just too much. At least she has respected me enough to cut out the mancandy mondays and crap like that.

I can't tell you how many times we have been out to eat, she'll be buried in her phone, and I'll be looking around, and without fail, I'll end up making eye contact with someone at another table, and the knowing look will pass between us that we know we just had a more meaningful interaction with a complete stranger than we will have with our partner.

I'm going to pull out my old man shaking stick and shake it here...when it comes to the "What if there's an emergency?" trope...yeah, when was the last time there was an actual true emergency that had to be dealt with, and couldn't have been taken care of at any other time, in any other way, by anyone else, and without the phone, calamity would have ensued? Seriously, how is it that anyone ever lived through all the emergencies that people rationalize being glued to their phones, just waiting for?
 

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This is really sad that this ruins so many relationships! I am shocked at some of these...yikes.

I will admit both my H and I sometimes have trouble putting the phone down, but for us, it's almost always work related. We've both got our work email tied to our phones and pinging 24/7 and sometimes they require immediate response. It's usually not an overwhelming issue though. I think because it's something we BOTH deal with, we each "get it".

Dinner at home and all meals out are phone free times.

After the kids are in bed, we do each go to our phones as our first thing to unwind. We usually spend about 30 mins on them to catch up on everything (social media included). If either of us is bothered by the phone use though, we will say something and the one using the phone puts it away immediately. I often come up to my H and sit beside him, and put my hand over his screen to block it if he is spending too much time on it. He looks up at me and I will just smile at him and cuddle up to him and he knows that means it's time to put it away!

If either of us had a lot of resentment over the issue, I can see how my action would start a fight though. This isn't a charged subject for us and neither of us have a problem being told to put the phone down and pay attention. :)

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It?s so bad my seven year old will ask her a question and she won?t hear it because she?s hypnotized to the phone. She hears it from me when I see this happen.

I nearly left her in a restaurant once over this. She was on social media, I told her let?s go as our meal was over and I had already paid the ticket, she didn?t acknowledge that I had spoken, I waited and said it again, no response, I said I?m leaving, and walked to the bar and sat and ordered a drink, I was half way through the drink watching a game on the TV when she called me angry asking where I was. I got after her told her she?s lucky I didn?t leave her there.
 

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It?s so bad my seven year old will ask her a question and she won?t hear it because she?s hypnotized to the phone. She hears it from me when I see this happen.

I nearly left her in a restaurant once over this. She was on social media, I told her let?s go as our meal was over and I had already paid the ticket, she didn?t acknowledge that I had spoken, I waited and said it again, no response, I said I?m leaving, and walked to the bar and sat and ordered a drink, I was half way through the drink watching a game on the TV when she called me angry asking where I was. I got after her told her she?s lucky I didn?t leave her there.
I would have left. You are far nicer than I.
 

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How about when giving H a BJ...and you look up and see he’s reached for his phone and is playing a game......yup...no joke....this happened.

For the 2nd time. First time...I put it down to a bad decision on his part.....the 2nd.....I’ve never given him a BJ since....

Must have been a [email protected]#$ty experience for him...NOT....Well....he won’t have to worry about that now will he..his loss.

That is the epitome of not being present when your wife is willingly meeting your needs....ugghhh
:surprise::crying:

OK. I will never ever again complain about my wife's use of a cell phone or her playing games on her phone.
 

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My phone is mostly for work so when I get home the phone stays in the car. The kids know this and they text there Mom. I do have an iPad to browse what I want to but I am not glued to the thing. We do have a rule though if we go out to dinner or to a friends home or any other social gathering the cell phones stay in the car. The kids know where we are an can call if in an emergency, if the house is on fire we can do nothing about it just hell out and then cal 911.



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I'm going to pull out my old man shaking stick and shake it here...when it comes to the "What if there's an emergency?" trope...yeah, when was the last time there was an actual true emergency that had to be dealt with, and couldn't have been taken care of at any other time, in any other way, by anyone else, and without the phone, calamity would have ensued? Seriously, how is it that anyone ever lived through all the emergencies that people rationalize being glued to their phones, just waiting for?
Yeah, I've heard the "what if there's an emergency" excuse before too. It's ridiculous. I'm the single mom of a teen, so there's a legitimate concern about emergencies - or at least urgencies - when I'm out. Thus, I always like to have my phone with me. But that does not mean I need to be engrossed in it all the time to the point I'm not present and interacting with the companion(s) right in front of me. I've found that just having my phone in my purse, with the ringer set to vibrate, has been perfectly adequate when there's been an actual emergency.
 

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How about when giving H a BJ...and you look up and see he’s reached for his phone and is playing a game......yup...no joke....this happened.

For the 2nd time. First time...I put it down to a bad decision on his part.....the 2nd.....I’ve never given him a BJ since....

Must have been a [email protected]#$ty experience for him...NOT....Well....he won’t have to worry about that now will he..his loss.

That is the epitome of not being present when your wife is willingly meeting your needs....ugghhh
Holy mother-****. I thought I had read it all on TAM. You win. Every man that has ever felt the need to complain about lack of Bjs should get to line up and punch your husband in the gut.
Yeah, I've heard the "what if there's an emergency" excuse before too. It's ridiculous. I'm the single mom of a teen, so there's a legitimate concern about emergencies - or at least urgencies - when I'm out. Thus, I always like to have my phone with me. But that does not mean I need to be engrossed in it all the time to the point I'm not present and interacting with the companion(s) right in front of me. I've found that just having my phone in my purse, with the ringer set to vibrate, has been perfectly adequate when there's been an actual emergency.
Exactly. Having the phone on you isnt the big deal. And I like the urgencies as opposed to emergency.
Having the willpower to not use the damn social apps and games is the big deal. I have my phone on me at most times but rarely use it. Email or text come in? Check it then put it away.

I get that Facebook is a wonderful thing for families and friends that live apart. But anymore I abhor it. For most people its a yearlong Christmas letter. Look at me, look at me. Like this, aren't I great? Here is everything GREAT about me and my life. Any honesty? **** no.
 

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How about when giving H a BJ...and you look up and see he’s reached for his phone and is playing a game......yup...no joke....this happened.

For the 2nd time. First time...I put it down to a bad decision on his part.....the 2nd.....I’ve never given him a BJ since....

Must have been a [email protected]#$ty experience for him...NOT....Well....he won’t have to worry about that now will he..his loss.

That is the epitome of not being present when your wife is willingly meeting your needs....ugghhh
 
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