[Funcool32]

My wife is pregnant with our 2nd child. She is suffering from depression quite bad. I want to help her, but she shuts me out. I don't know what to do.

We didn't go through this in the first pregnancy.

I don't pressure her for sex, as I've learnt that her body is going through a very complex phase and I just want her to get through this. At first I was angry, but now I can refrain from even wanting it by keeping myself busy. I help around the house, and we rarely fight... I think we have a pretty good relationship compared to most. We're not struggling financially. I've offered for her to quit her job, but she doesn't want to. I've offered to get a cleaner. I've offered to get her psychiatric advice, but she doesn't think it's necessary.

I really don't know what else to do! Any advice would be great.
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[EleGirl]

Try her doctor instead of a psychiarist. The doc has a lot less stigma. Go with her to her next appointment and discuss your concern about her depression.

Does she realize that she is depressed?

What are her behaviors that are bothering you?

 

[Funcool32]

Thanks EleGirl, I will suggest those things. I actually already offered to go with her to see someone.

Yes she knows she is depressed. She told me the other night and then started bawling, but I couldn't comfort her. She didn't want to talk about it and just kept saying she didn't know why she was depressed. There was no logical reason.

The behaviours bothering me are the unpredictable moods. I realise this is a tough time for her and that her hormones are playing games with her body and mind. I know we'll get through this, but it is very hard. Each time I walk through the door after a tough day at work, I think "will she be the pleasant beautiful girl I married, or the demonic soul that has taken her over?" I'm just being patient, telling her I'm here for her and just being as supportive as I can.

No matter who she is when I get home, I let her get it out of her system and don't argue, because I'm confident it will all go back to normal in 6-12 months time.
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[ShawnD]

Try her doctor instead of a psychiarist. The doc has a lot less stigma. Go with her to her next appointment and discuss your concern about her depression.

Fair warning: regular doctors don't know a damn thing about the brain or the nervous system. I bet half of them can't even count to 15 without taking their socks off. I went to one for help with chronic tiredness (which can be treated with dozens of approved drugs) and she suggested I drink coffee. Thanks doc! I never would have thought of that!

Another person you should talk to is a pharmacist. Those people live to understand drugs. A skilled pharmacist prevented my mom from filling a prescription for something that was associated with birth defects. Pharmacists are expected to know things like that.

Some new age hippy might come along and suggest she take herbs X and Y to feel better instead of taking prescription drugs. Be very careful with herbs. Herbs have psychological effects because they contain drugs, and being an herb doesn't automatically mean it's safe. What's the difference between caffeine in tea and caffeine in a pill? There's no difference. Both will cause miscarriages.