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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I am in dire need of advise for my marriage. I feel like I am being controled by my husband. If I help my mom who is very sick he gets mad at me and won't talk to me. If I spend any money he gets really mad at me every though we never have to worry about it. He always says everything is my fault even if the baby gets sick if something goes wrong it is my fault or if his back hurts. Right now his back hurts and he says he can't do anything but he has the time to work on what he wants to. He says I am not allowed to have a credit card because we can't afford it. If the baby needs to go to the doctor then he just brushes it off. I am not happy in this marriage anymore and I don't what else to do. Please help me. Also he will not help me clean the house and take care of the baby or anything he says he has worked all day and is tired and doesn't want to. Then he gets mad at me if I don't get the house clean in between working and taking care of the baby.
 

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Your husband is more then just controlling he could cost you or your child your health. If you are working he should be doing house work too, period. No matter who does what outside of the house he owes time to his child before himself.

Are you here to ask for divorce advice?

draconis
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Your husband is more then just controlling he could cost you or your child your health. If you are working he should be doing house work too, period. No matter who does what outside of the house he owes time to his child before himself.

Are you here to ask for divorce advice?

draconis
No I don't beleive in divorce so I am asking for ways to help save my marriage.
 

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Get a marriage councilor, then again it is spending money. Otherwise I don't see this marriage progressing past where you are now.

He will not let you spend money. Yet you have money.
He is verbally abusive.
He makes you take care of the baby. Even though you work too.
He blames you for everything. Even his own ills.
He puts you and the babies health and well being at risk.

Are you trying to change him?

draconis
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
They live near me. His mom has an influence over him but he wants to spend more time with his dad. They come over about every other day unless my mother in law comes over to babysit then it is everyday.
 

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No I don't beleive in divorce so I am asking for ways to help save my marriage.

Since you don't believe in divorce, I suggest you get your own bank account, that he has no access to, a job, and start building your life so that you can feel more secure within yourself. His silent treatment won't have nearly the impact it does right now, when you can turn your attention away from him and into your own hobbies, job, and other things that he cannot control.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
yeah I think he is starting to take sides by saying I am acting just like his dad because I keep after him about having my truck back and he doesn't understand he thinks it is selfish of me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I have thought about that but I don't have a car right now because he takes it to work with him and I can't have it right now because his back and legs hurt to drive a stick but they feel fine when it comes to things that he wants to do. That is why I get so mad at him sometimes because he thinks it is all about me and nothing about him.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I have asked him to help out around the house and all he says is that he does all the work. What happens is I clean the downstairs and he cleans the upstairs normally but now he won't even do that and I don't know what else to do. He works on what he wants to and thats it nothing else.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I have thought about it but everytime I do he says he says that he won't go to work on that day because he has nothing to wear.
 

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Look at him and say good since you are not going to be at work you can help me around the house. If you can go to work and do 8 hours there then you can spend those same eight hours in the house.

sooner or later he'll break.

draconis
 

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How well is your rapport with your mother in law...have you spoken to her about the way her son sometimes behaves, she may be influencing him but if you become pally with her, then she may actually ask your husband to be more good to you and the kid...I know the trick works...
 

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I have thought about that but I don't have a car right now because he takes it to work with him and I can't have it right now because his back and legs hurt to drive a stick but they feel fine when it comes to things that he wants to do. That is why I get so mad at him sometimes because he thinks it is all about me and nothing about him.
What's the bus system like where you live? Finding alternatives is the key in this situation.
 
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