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4 Posts
My husband and I have had our ups and downs our entire marriage with so many problems. To start off the first year, he loved porn, strip clubs, and was a workaholic. We both married too young. He was only 19 and I was 21. This pushed me away from him because I had no idea he wanted more than me in the bedroom. It actually hurt a lot. Through 15 years of our marriage, both of us had an affair. He had a sexual affair. Mine was more emotional. We have tried working things out and becoming closer. I do believe we are closer but there is still so much missing especially now knowing how it feels to be truly loved and wanted. Our sex life used to be nonexistent. He is a taker and a giver so I finally stopped giving. It's weird but making love makes me feel more loved. When this stopped, it's like we were roommates or only friends. There isn't kissing and sex is awkward because it lasts a minute and he's done.
Long story short, I'm still not happy. The man I had the emotional affair with is still heavy on my heart. I don't see him because he's in another state but I'm very much in love with him. We had everything from communication to intimacy. It felt like nothing was missing. He'd marry me in a heartbeat because we had such a connection. I don't know how to get over him as hard as I try. It's not fair to my husband that I'm constantly thinking about the other man. I tried splitting up before, but our two kids cried, my husband became depressed and lost so much weight. I gave in and stayed. Plus, I felt so guilty for having the affair. If I was happy in the first place, then I know the affair wouldn't have ever started. Please help me in what to do. I'm needing honest advice because I've only talked to 2 of my family members. What my friends and family think means a great deal to me. Please help me figure out what to do.
Long story short, I'm still not happy. The man I had the emotional affair with is still heavy on my heart. I don't see him because he's in another state but I'm very much in love with him. We had everything from communication to intimacy. It felt like nothing was missing. He'd marry me in a heartbeat because we had such a connection. I don't know how to get over him as hard as I try. It's not fair to my husband that I'm constantly thinking about the other man. I tried splitting up before, but our two kids cried, my husband became depressed and lost so much weight. I gave in and stayed. Plus, I felt so guilty for having the affair. If I was happy in the first place, then I know the affair wouldn't have ever started. Please help me in what to do. I'm needing honest advice because I've only talked to 2 of my family members. What my friends and family think means a great deal to me. Please help me figure out what to do.