Hello there. I have been a lurker on this website for several years and this is the first time I am posting. I am a 29 year old woman, engaged to a 27 year old man. We have been together for over 3 years.
Over a year ago, I discovered that my fiancé had a porn addiction and was also texting/sexting other women. He also apparently used to frequent strip clubs, mostly early on in the relationship(unbeknownst to me). Since the discovery, all of those issues have been solved successfully and I have full access to everything of his. I am very proud of the changes he has made and how much he has matured.
The problem that I'm facing right now, is that ever since our fallout, I have been fantasizing about him having sex with other women. It has even gotten to the point where I have difficulty reaching orgasm during sex if I do not think about him cheating. Sometimes I even imagine myself being a stripper that he has his way with.
This is extremely disturbing to me because I am repulsed by strip clubs and cheating in general, and especially if it's something my partner would be engaging in. I never ever had fantasies like this before his discrepancies and I don't understand why I'm thinking this way now! I am very ashamed and embarrassed about these thoughts! I would love to know what has happened to my psyche. Is this possibly triggered from the emotion trauma that I suffered from his past actions?
I would love it if you guys could offer me some insight. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Over a year ago, I discovered that my fiancé had a porn addiction and was also texting/sexting other women. He also apparently used to frequent strip clubs, mostly early on in the relationship(unbeknownst to me). Since the discovery, all of those issues have been solved successfully and I have full access to everything of his. I am very proud of the changes he has made and how much he has matured.
The problem that I'm facing right now, is that ever since our fallout, I have been fantasizing about him having sex with other women. It has even gotten to the point where I have difficulty reaching orgasm during sex if I do not think about him cheating. Sometimes I even imagine myself being a stripper that he has his way with.
This is extremely disturbing to me because I am repulsed by strip clubs and cheating in general, and especially if it's something my partner would be engaging in. I never ever had fantasies like this before his discrepancies and I don't understand why I'm thinking this way now! I am very ashamed and embarrassed about these thoughts! I would love to know what has happened to my psyche. Is this possibly triggered from the emotion trauma that I suffered from his past actions?
I would love it if you guys could offer me some insight. Thank you for taking the time to read this.