Joined
·
4 Posts
Hi I need some advice from you married couples out there. While I am not married, I have been in a 10 year relationship. We were talking about marriage but I am instead considering ending the courtship.
I have been with my guy going on 10 years, since I was 17 years old. I made him wait years (until 21) to have sex because I felt that we were to young and he had a thing for having sex with other girls anyway. he claimed it was because I wouldn’t give him any. I don’t hold this against him because most teenage boys are immature and cheat on their girlfriends anyway which was why is wasn’t willing to have sex with him and made him wait.
Flash forward to today, he is a faithful boyfriend. But now I wish he would have sex with other women, because I hate having sex with him. While he has been my one and only, first in everything, what worked for me at 21 is no longer working for me at 27.
Things wrong with our sex life:
1. His approach. Sex always starts of the same boring way. Him brushing up against my butt, him giving me oral sex, or him stating “my **** is hard” or “I need some.” When he gives me oral sex, he uses to much teeth so I don’t want it anymore. I told him yet he still uses way to much teeth. When he says his **** is hard or that he needs some, I feel left out. No where in that does he include me, I would rather hear “You are so sexy. You have my **** hard.” Or
I really need to make love to you right now.” All I am asking is to be included and to feel wanted not like his sole purpose for having sex with me is to please himself.
2. When we have sex he stares at the headboard. I have to remind him where my face is. I asked him what is it “am I ugly,” he says no he’s just in the zone. I believe him because there are lots of guys after me and because I am so lonely and sexually frustrated I am considering finding my #2 since I have only had sex with one person. Staring at the headboard keeps him from connecting with me and at kissing me during sex and touching all over my body. I just lay there while he’s on top of me doing his business using my vagina. That’s exactly what it is. Using my vagina. I am being used because I get nothing in return. When he does kiss me I am really appalled because he puts spit everywhere.
3. When we have sex he bumps like a rabbit the entire time. I told him its called bump and grind for a reason. I enjoy him grinding inside me way more but he says grinding makes him cum to fast which brings me to problem number 4
4. Because I do not enjoy sex with him I refuse often. He cums to fast. He says he cums to fast because he goes for weeks and weeks without having sex. MEN IS THIS TRUE?
5. When I get on top, he just lays there. Doesn’t say a word. Im sick of it. Hes the only person that Ive ever been with so I would like some feedback so I could know whether I am doing it right or not. A moan, grunt, a passionate kiss, a touch, anything but I get nothing. I am up there for him, if hes not enjoying it I wish he would tell me what to do so I can try to improve or just lay my ass down and go the hell to sleep.
All Im asking for is a little romance and improvement in our sex lives. He says he cant give me romance because he’s working long hours six days a week and is the only one who pays the bills. But Even when I worked there was still no romance. Now that we have a 2 year old child, my needs have changed. I get little free time to myself. So what I would like is a passionate man who devours my body and gives me a little help around the house. All I ask is that he keep an eye on the little one while I prepare dinner when he gets home from work and give me lots of passion in the bedroom. But instead He falls asleep and the baby makes a mess everywhere, which he refuses to clean and leaves me to do. I told him about my sexual complaints and he deflects blame Hes not happy sexually either he says because I don’t perform oral sex and I don’t know how to ride him.
I would love to perform oral sex on him and I would if I felt loved and if I felt that he wanted to please me as much as I would like to please him. This is not a one way street in my opinion. If I was deeply in love and I knew the man cared for me I would do anything to please him, even anal sex on occasion. (which I have never tried.) but I would have to be in a loving relationship. The only thing I wouldn’t do is invite someone else in my bedroom.. I would like to be a “cowgirl” and ride him until I tire myself out but he wont teach me how to be one and I have no other experience with any other guy.
I want to make it work for my daughter but I am not happy. I have talked he won’t listen. I have suggested counseling millions of times, he wont go. I suggested church, he believes in god, but is one of those men who refuses to go to church. Because I am not sexually satisfied, I am always in a bad mood. So we always argue. This is not good for my baby so I think we should just end it. Any advice anyone? talking to him hasn't worked in two years, so what I am asking is should i leave a man who is a good provider but uncaring and a horrible lover?
I have been with my guy going on 10 years, since I was 17 years old. I made him wait years (until 21) to have sex because I felt that we were to young and he had a thing for having sex with other girls anyway. he claimed it was because I wouldn’t give him any. I don’t hold this against him because most teenage boys are immature and cheat on their girlfriends anyway which was why is wasn’t willing to have sex with him and made him wait.
Flash forward to today, he is a faithful boyfriend. But now I wish he would have sex with other women, because I hate having sex with him. While he has been my one and only, first in everything, what worked for me at 21 is no longer working for me at 27.
Things wrong with our sex life:
1. His approach. Sex always starts of the same boring way. Him brushing up against my butt, him giving me oral sex, or him stating “my **** is hard” or “I need some.” When he gives me oral sex, he uses to much teeth so I don’t want it anymore. I told him yet he still uses way to much teeth. When he says his **** is hard or that he needs some, I feel left out. No where in that does he include me, I would rather hear “You are so sexy. You have my **** hard.” Or
I really need to make love to you right now.” All I am asking is to be included and to feel wanted not like his sole purpose for having sex with me is to please himself.
2. When we have sex he stares at the headboard. I have to remind him where my face is. I asked him what is it “am I ugly,” he says no he’s just in the zone. I believe him because there are lots of guys after me and because I am so lonely and sexually frustrated I am considering finding my #2 since I have only had sex with one person. Staring at the headboard keeps him from connecting with me and at kissing me during sex and touching all over my body. I just lay there while he’s on top of me doing his business using my vagina. That’s exactly what it is. Using my vagina. I am being used because I get nothing in return. When he does kiss me I am really appalled because he puts spit everywhere.
3. When we have sex he bumps like a rabbit the entire time. I told him its called bump and grind for a reason. I enjoy him grinding inside me way more but he says grinding makes him cum to fast which brings me to problem number 4
4. Because I do not enjoy sex with him I refuse often. He cums to fast. He says he cums to fast because he goes for weeks and weeks without having sex. MEN IS THIS TRUE?
5. When I get on top, he just lays there. Doesn’t say a word. Im sick of it. Hes the only person that Ive ever been with so I would like some feedback so I could know whether I am doing it right or not. A moan, grunt, a passionate kiss, a touch, anything but I get nothing. I am up there for him, if hes not enjoying it I wish he would tell me what to do so I can try to improve or just lay my ass down and go the hell to sleep.
All Im asking for is a little romance and improvement in our sex lives. He says he cant give me romance because he’s working long hours six days a week and is the only one who pays the bills. But Even when I worked there was still no romance. Now that we have a 2 year old child, my needs have changed. I get little free time to myself. So what I would like is a passionate man who devours my body and gives me a little help around the house. All I ask is that he keep an eye on the little one while I prepare dinner when he gets home from work and give me lots of passion in the bedroom. But instead He falls asleep and the baby makes a mess everywhere, which he refuses to clean and leaves me to do. I told him about my sexual complaints and he deflects blame Hes not happy sexually either he says because I don’t perform oral sex and I don’t know how to ride him.
I would love to perform oral sex on him and I would if I felt loved and if I felt that he wanted to please me as much as I would like to please him. This is not a one way street in my opinion. If I was deeply in love and I knew the man cared for me I would do anything to please him, even anal sex on occasion. (which I have never tried.) but I would have to be in a loving relationship. The only thing I wouldn’t do is invite someone else in my bedroom.. I would like to be a “cowgirl” and ride him until I tire myself out but he wont teach me how to be one and I have no other experience with any other guy.
I want to make it work for my daughter but I am not happy. I have talked he won’t listen. I have suggested counseling millions of times, he wont go. I suggested church, he believes in god, but is one of those men who refuses to go to church. Because I am not sexually satisfied, I am always in a bad mood. So we always argue. This is not good for my baby so I think we should just end it. Any advice anyone? talking to him hasn't worked in two years, so what I am asking is should i leave a man who is a good provider but uncaring and a horrible lover?