I'm a man that can relate to your boyfriend. I'm still in the healing process but I do know that shortly after I found out, every fight that we had I would quickly throw it back in her face. DEEP DEEP down I was torn apart and very hurt. He needs to hit bottom with his feeling before he can start to forgive. I recently had a HUGE meltdown to the point I wanted to part this world. For me it was hard to think that my wife found comfort in another mans hands. In a way I felt very responsible for that.I am new and i dont know where to turn.
I am in a 6 year relationship with the father of my children. We are not married.
I have cheated 6 times ( yes he knows about it) It was basicaly in the begining of our relationship.
I owned up to it...and i hate myself sick for it. I finally said that I was ok with moving out. It was my problem that we were ruined and that he deserves way better then me.
He then said that he was willing to work on things. And wanted to trust me again. That was about 2 1/2 years ago.
Now 1 baby later...our relationship is horrible. Everything that goes wrong is my fault. If i tell him that i am unhappy his basic response is Deal with it...you cheated. I feel that in the 2 1/2 years i earned some respect. I dont expect to be trusted AT ALL...but I at least deserve respect. Does he deserve to treat me any way he wants because I cheated? Doesnt he need to take some ownership in willing to work things out? He is not abusive, hes a great provider...and we have our great moments. Hes an amazing dad. But im sick of being unhappy because every fight turns into me cheating. IS this how i have to be treated? IS this normal? When we arent fighting its amazing. Maybe he needs to talk to someone that has forgivin someone who was unfaithful.
ps..therapist's arent free......