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I worte in another board very simaliar and the feedback I recieved was focoused on something that wasn't the root of the problem. Basically I have been through a lot in my life already...

I grew up with an abusive father and loving mother, my little sister attempted suicide twice and was in and out of mental hospitals, my older sister has severe add, so I was the responsible one helping whenever I could and holding my mom together when she was going through the divorce. I was in several relationships where I felt used and no one ever treated me like a girlfriend just some object. I had my heart broken by one of my boyfriends and my father. My realationship with my father has gotten a lot better he has changed a lot, but he still doesn't accept how he used to be it's like it was erased from his mind. I got married almost 4 years ago, to a man I really love. My younger sister went through her last mental hospital visit 2 1/2 years ago, and is now married herself. A year ago we moved away from my family to a warmer place, florida! While I love the beach and don't miss utah weather, I miss my family tremendously! We are also living with my in laws. Which is extremely hard, my husband and I basically take care of his brother and sister 14 and 17. I work full time in a childcare center that is very stressful due to their no consequences rule. My husband hasn't really been able to find a stable job since we have been married and most of the marriage I have been the provider (Not the whole marriage). On top of that stress, I share a car with my husband that I can't drive because I can't drive a stick shift. I've tried to learn for years and I'm awful at it. Due to our extremely low income, We can't buy another car or a replacement at the time and it is very frustrating having to wait to go places or find another way. Recently it's gotten worse because my grandfather passed away about 4 months ago. Then last week my best friend (only 24 years old and a mother) passed away as well. I wasn't able to go to either of the funerals and that has been hard on me. My younger sister also has Aleopica Areta and loses her hair every few years. a few weeks ago and within 2 days it was all gone. Also both my grandmothers are going through Chemo. I hate not being able to be around my family when I feel they need me most and I need them. I think when my friend died... I just broke... I used to be strong because of my struggles and now since Kailies death... I'm not myself, I'm stressed and I need help... Please say something... Please..
 

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im so sorry for you stressed. someone explained the death of a loved one to me once as the same feeling you get when you are walking down a flight of stairs and a step you thought was there is missing; the disillusionment is stunning and you find yourself in considerable pain after you hit ground. The rest of your life you will always be waiting for that next step to be missing.
 

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I'm really sorry you are going through all of this. I can relate to what you are going through; the last five years definitely haven't been a picnic for me either. And before that I lived the story book life. I found comfort in putting my burdens in God's capable hands. Once I pray for help with each thing, I let it go. Then, I can focus on living each day without being bogged down in a mountain of "worry". I guess it works because my therapist and minister say they have never seen anyone cope so well. And always remember that suffering does make us grow stronger.

As far as death taking everyone we love from us, it is hard. I'm having a much easier time with dealing with that now though. I became very ill last year and was on life support for a couple of weeks. The doctors told my family I would never survive. In the processes I had several near death experiences. But, then a miracle happened; I managed to survive against all odds. My "death" experience was a wonderful thing. So, now when a loved one leaves, I know they are going someplace much better. In a sense, I'm happy for them.

I hope this helps. You will get through all of this! :)
 
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