Please advise me!

It means he is trying to sweep what he has done under the mat - rug-sweeping.
He probably does not realise what he has engaged in is an affair, as hurtful to a spouse as a physical affair (PA), if not more hurtful sometimes.
There are some good 'stickies' at the top of the coping with infidelity forum (CWI), those & some of the other posters will give you good advice.

You need to make sure he has stopped ALL contact with the other women (OW). As his wife you should have free access to his phone, computer, email, facebook accounts. If he complains about having his privacy invaded, then he more than likely has something to hide.

From what you have said, he is fine communicating electronically with other women, he just can't communicate face to face with you. If he will go to councelling, I strongly urge you to do that, but be wise with your choice of coucellor. You do want one who is knowledgable about emotional affairs (EA)

One, you need to stop forgiving him so easy just so you can avoid conflict. That helps no one, devalues your forgiveness, and breeds resentment.

Secondly, this is very serious. At only a year and a half in and with a baby on the way he should be mr. grinning and madly in love. The fact that he isn't is very alarming and don't for one second think it'll 'get better' or 'go away eventually.'

It won't, unless you put a stop to it.

What hes having is called an Emotional Affair (EA abbreviation) and they are nuclear threats to marriages. Don't down size them. They sap emotional energy and loving affections that should be between the two in the marriage and instead give them to a 3rd person outside of the marriage.

A few months of texting, facebooking, emailing, etc can have a husband/wife telling their partner the same old "I love you, but I'm not in love with you and want a divorce" crap because they're in an affair with someone.


Affairs are secret things and like fungus, they need darkness to thrive. Bring it out into the light by exposing his affair to family.

Then you need to deliver an ultimatum with MC at the heart of it.

If you don't get to the bottom of this EA it can go physical before you know it or not.

As an example, Devastated dad's wife had her emotional affair discovered.(his thread is on the coping page) Devastated thought he put an end to it, but in the short future his wife had sex with her Other Man (OM abbreviation) multiple times.

EAs are like weeds, either you get em early and get em fast or they will grow beyond most control.

Thanks for the response. I totally agree with everything said. I'm realizing that it is easy for me to forgive and that only brought us back to square one. And I also believe my husband has deeper rooted emotional issues. He can't really look me in the eyes much and the way he talked to that woman is exactly the way he used to talk to me before we got married only through text. Face to face he doesn't know how to even express himself. He has an online personality so different than his face to face personality... When we r discussing anything he is uncomfortable about he is dead silent and has this I'm so scared and fearful look... It frustrates me and makes me feel like I'm dealing with a second grader just caught stealing. A part of me wants to quit but I also feel like he has great qualities worth saving if he would be open to counseling. I just wish he would communicate with me.... I've opened up so much with him and he has not at all... I'm not interested in a physical bond without an emotional one... Instead of him investing in us emotionally he is investing it elsewhere.

i would give him an ultimative if you are going to stay married to him.
he can change everyone can, he choses te easy way out for him.
i would not start a family out under these conditions.
he needs to establish boundaries with other women, no opposite friendship for life.
complete transparety and some couple help for communication,
in every marriage one person has to drive the bus because the partner is lost for a moment, this is your chance, one person can start this change.
if you do nothing he will think you will accept this kind of marriage and life, you cant do it, its not a marriage you will feel safe in.
tough love and only that will work, dont blame his past its his lack of boundaries and direspect nothing else.
stop with the excuses.
he shapes up or its the highway, go to a lawyer, open up your own bank account show him you will not stay in a marriage like this the way he is. make him believe you are moving on.
if he refuses to change ask him to move out, tell him its to emotionally upsetting to you especially being pregnant.
he is financially responsible for you and your child let him feel what it might be lije if he doesnt change and the marriage dissolves, expose his inappropriateness to his family his coworkers, friends the ow's families, a good dose of reality will wake me up, just tell him you will do whatever you have to do save your marriage and family.
then go on and live your life.
when you stop filling his needs he will realize what he will lose.
come back when you need support and the rest of the plan to recover.
if you dont do anything he will be having sex with other women while married to you, you fight for whats yours, make him step up and be a man stop letting him hide behind i cant because of this or that, you allow him that out, just say no more, finished with that your are an adult about to be a father grow up.

Hi everyone,

My husband apologized and asked for forgiveness. He promised it was a mistake and it will never happen again. I said it will take time for things to get back to normal. He's trying to be normal by giving me hugs, kisses, holding me close in bed... none of which I can return. I can't look at his face, I can't return his hugs or kisses and I can't push him away. In our relationship, I'm the bubbly happy talkative one... now I'm not even able to bring myself to smile at him... I feel so depressed... Our finances are not allowing us to start counseling immediately and I'm still looking for a cheaper way to do it or an alternative. I'm not sure what is it that I am expecting from him to fix things. He has never been the type that sends me thoughtful messages or surprise gifts, he has never expressed his feelings in words... he is doing what he did best, tell me he loves me and give me hugs and help around the house... I don't care for these things, at least not right now. I feel like I have a magnifying glass that is showing me all of his faults and shortcomings and things that never bothered me before is making me think about whether or not I even want my husband to remain as my husband. Is this normal? I feel like an alarm has gone off in my mind where I want to separate our finances, separate myself from him, go after my own goals, and before all this I was willing to sacrifice and allow him to finish school while I support before I go back to my masters. Now I feel like maybe it's not worth it, maybe I need to prepare myself for a crude awakening that might hit me again. I'm lost, sad, need of wisdom, I am praying and asking God to help, please share your thoughts.