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Discussion Starter #1
Why are us gals attracted to players? Thankfully I spotted this one before I got too involved, but sheesh!!!

I suppose they are just REALLY good at what they do. I consider myself to be decently intelligent and maybe only slightly naieve (optimistic sounds better.)

Will I ever NOT be attracted to players? Sigh....
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I'm not attracted to players either.
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Curious to see what you get for a response, because the consensus here amongst women is that they can spot a player from a mile away and would NEVER fall for any of that baloney.

My suggestion to you?

Learn the rules of the game.
You will understand yourself much better and have a greater ability to see relationships that are worth fostering, and those that are to be avoided.
 

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The really good players don't let you know they're playing you...you find out later on. Which is what really sucks. As long as you're smart enough to walk away, you'll be fine.
 

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Curious to see what you get for a response, because the consensus here amongst women is that they can spot a player from a mile away and would NEVER fall for any of that baloney.

My suggestion to you?

Learn the rules of the game.
You will understand yourself much better and have a greater ability to see relationships that are worth fostering, and those that are to be avoided.
Depends on their definition of player. As I said in my response, I got suckered in (once) by a REAL player. The sneaky, smarmy kind. I found out only after becoming involved. I left him.
 

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Or hate both. :p
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The really good players don't let you know they're playing you...you find out later on. Which is what really sucks. As long as you're smart enough to walk away, you'll be fine.
I was thinking about this as well. for example, I project possible outcomes in the future.

With my fiancé last year (before he was my fiancé) I know now that his EA sent him an e-mail suggesting that the two of them meet up at a music festival.

His response to her said that his parents would be in town that weekend but then I saw the word "maybe." I mentioned this to a friend who said, yes, but he's not a player. I agree with that. but I still think if we had not had those discussions last year, he very well could have left me with his parents while going to a concert with his EA.

What I think are the differences here:

1. I think that a player feels no guilt and no remorse. there fore, they don't find themselves "accidentally" revealing information.

2. I also think that they don't find other ways to demonise their partner, a way to justify their behaviour that a non player will feel the need to do..

so you still get the net effect, whether player or regularly guy
 

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Well, my player had me as his girlfriend, plus at least 2-3 other women online, using the same schtick on all of us (babe, beautiful, etc), used the same lines, AND lied to me about being divorced.

When I confronted, he didn't even think what he was doing was wrong. He said he never said he was actually divorced, and that he assumed I knew he was still married. He told me these other women were all 'just friends', yet he was clearly on the chase.

When I dumped him, he wrote me the same lame breakup response that I'd found in his outbox to the last bozo he'd tricked. You know, the "I hope we can still be friends, what we had was really special, and everytime I think of you, I'll smile"...(gag!) He copied it nearly word for word. At that point, I literally laughed in his face and told him to lose my number, go back to his wife, and stop playing silly games before someone really gets hurt.
 

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thats not a playa, thats a dawg.

you don't have to lie to play the game. If you are not exclusive to one another, you don't let her leave her toothbrush at your house etc. you can still have a couple a week w/o lying to anyone. when it gets to that serious point, if it's not there, let them know...but by then usually both parties know if its just a booty call or whatever
 

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Players come on with the intent to take what they want, an aura of confidence that pulls women into their grasp... They know the right questions to get the converstaion rolling, to get the woman laughing, eating out of their hand... this can be faked if they know how to play- have studied the rule book well enough. They have websites & forums for this intention.

They know how to dangle the carrot, that speaks "I don't really need you" cause I have more chicks waiting for me.... They come off as knowing who they are, what they want...and this fuels your attention/attraction for them.

They are not clingy, they are not hopelessly falling at your feet, they leave you with some mystery also... Oh that is a must ! A player will never be an open book.

Me personally, I prefer a humble man, honest, simple, not full of lines, affectionate - he doesn't have to have the gift of gap even, or the right questions to lure me in...

I would never want to be with a man who sleeps with many women, he wouldnt like my questions to him... cause I'd want to know his sexual history.. I like the open book types over a player. I'm not into "taming" a Player, for me, once a Player ~ likely always... even if he fools around and falls in love.......that seed is lurking within... it may sprout at any time in his future.
 

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I'm not into "taming" a Player, for me, once a Player ~ likely always... even if he fools around and falls in love.......that seed is lurking within... it may sprout at any time in his future.
=/

I disagree

To be honest I don't even really see the distinction between a player or normal men. To me I either see folks with game or not. And the game doesn't have to be cruel, either then a few teases here and there. You don't have to break hearts when you're playing the game but still get what you want.

For almost all of my mates, we've all been there - our first loves, our times when we got p-ssywhipped, the times when we got tempted, the times when we scored and the times when we failed, the trophies that we had, the fantasies forfilled, the heartbreaks, etc etc etc... Then the times when we learnt how to handle, understand, and inevitably appreciate and love a woman in our lives.

Men go through stages, playing the game can be just one chapter in one's life, some continue, others settle. How can one judge a person based on one chapter of his life? I was a criminal when I was young, now I've made something good of my life all by myself while everyone continued to judge me, am I to be called a criminal forever?

And I wouldn't trust those player books, some of it has good tips but many I utterly disagree with. I go my own way and I enjoy the game. I've always been honest with even casuals in the past and let them know where they stood. When some of those ended up liking me more and more, then what I can say? I've already warned them. I don't lead them on.

It's irritating that when you tell a woman to back off and not get emotionally entangled they want you more... -.-

I enjoy the game more than most to the point I even enjoy it more than sex as I like the challenge, the hunt, the thrill of the chase, but when it comes down to it, there's just no point for men to break a woman's heart when we just want to get laid - and many men understand that.
 

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Originally posted by Deejo:
Learn the rules of the game.
You will understand yourself much better and have a greater ability to see relationships that are worth fostering, and those that are to be avoided.
Okay, WHERE would I find 'the rules of the game' (metaphorically speaking).

I've been out of The Game for DECADES and would prefer NOT TO LEARN the HARD way.

Thanks, everyone, for any direction you can give me.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Wow! Great discussion!!!

I dont want to come across as unfair, but i did notice definite similarities between this one and the last one i became (much more) entangled with.

Both claimed to be very good men. Both said they were different from most men. Both said that i was a very special woman. Both were seeing other women without letting me know (which is perfectly allowed with one, the other we were "in love.")

I suppose it would have just been good to know that I wasnt the only "special" woman in thier lives beforehand. I am always upfront and honest with the men i date.....if there are others, i tell them there are others. Why i s thathard for someone to be honest with me like i am with them?
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