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Discussion Starter #1
Ladies ,
My Wife's F Cousin and I have been good friends since she baptized our Son. I'm talking going on about 15 yrs now. We have similar interests in what we find humor in, we've chatted over text,social media, etc ... Topics of conversation have never crossed the line regarding sex or sent pics to each other. Mostly chatting for ****s n giggles, memes, and other funny posts found online. My wife does not enjoy social media and chooses to not join any. My wife has now forbidden me from chatting with her cousin because it's disrespectful and I shouldn't be chatting with her because she doesn't like it and if I continue to chat it's because I want to be with her... I'm told to ignore the cousin now and I would be betraying her if I continued chatting... I've never hidden my conversations with the cousin
 

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What caused this sudden change? SOMETHING had to trigger your wife about this.
Maybe you, your wife, and her cousin should sit down and talk this out?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
You are right now that I think about it... I was flirty with a F gamer years ago and that was stopped immediately after I was called out on it. So she must be feeling like that is happening again but with her cousin.
 

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You are right now that I think about it... I was flirty with a F gamer years ago and that was stopped immediately after I was called out on it. So she must be feeling like that is happening again but with her cousin.
So, go back and look at your texts/communications with the eye of your WIFE. Anything sketchy there? TALK to her. If you did that back then, she may think it is starting all over again and just flat out won't tolerate it.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
So, go back and look at your texts/communications with the eye of your WIFE. Anything sketchy there? TALK to her. If you did that back then, she may think it is starting all over again and just flat out won't tolerate it
Honestly most communications involve sharing memes and related posts to current events some conversations regarding them. With the occasional made ya look post/clickbait
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Something obviously tripped some kind of boundary alert with your wife. A nice calm talk about what happened or what may have caused this is in order.
I think the notifications coming in more frequently probably triggered my wife. Again I never hid who it was messaging and what was being shared
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Your wife is right, knock it off.

Need I point out the double standard, or are you going to swear up and down that it wouldn't bother you if the roles were reversed?
Your right, I have stopped chatting with the cousin, she's sent over posts and memes with comments but I didn't reply. I have felt jealous about the conversations she's had with co workers she's told me about but I don't show it I think I get moody.
 

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Ladies ,
My Wife's F Cousin and I have been good friends since she baptized our Son. I'm talking going on about 15 yrs now. We have similar interests in what we find humor in, we've chatted over text,social media, etc ... Topics of conversation have never crossed the line regarding sex or sent pics to each other. Mostly chatting for ****s n giggles, memes, and other funny posts found online. My wife does not enjoy social media and chooses to not join any. My wife has now forbidden me from chatting with her cousin because it's disrespectful and I shouldn't be chatting with her because she doesn't like it and if I continue to chat it's because I want to be with her... I'm told to ignore the cousin now and I would be betraying her if I continued chatting... I've never hidden my conversations with the cousin
So, do you want a happy marriage or some super online pal relationship with some cousin?
What is your priority?
She has flat out told you this bothers her.
Are you expecting her to just have a drastic, core, gut feelings 180 if you explain why contacting this other woman is fine and she isn't allowed to feel like she feels?
Are you trying to explain it isn't sexual? So what. That isn't always the full scope of feelings. It is still time and attention to another woman....not having sex isn't always a magic bullet to allow anything. Spending too much time, attention or energy on another opposite sex person can still cause problems and discomfort and jealousy.
She's told you how she feels. She doesn't like you giving attention to this other woman.

It's up to you.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
So, do you want a happy marriage or some super online pal relationship with some cousin?
What is your priority?
She has flat out told you this bothers her.
Are you expecting her to just have a drastic, core, gut feelings 180 if you explain why contacting this other woman is fine and she isn't allowed to feel like she feels?
Are you trying to explain it isn't sexual? So what. That isn't always the full scope of feelings. It is still time and attention to another woman....not having sex isn't always a magic bullet to allow anything. Spending too much time, attention or energy on another opposite sex person can still cause problems and discomfort and jealousy.
She's told you how she feels. She doesn't like you giving attention to this other woman.

It's up to you.
I've stopped already. Just wanted to hear other's opinions on it since I don't have many other people I can talk to.
 

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I've stopped already. Just wanted to hear other's opinions on it since I don't have many other people I can talk to.
I see.
So, is everything smooth with your wife?
How did it go down, did you ghost this cousin or tell her you'll not be corresponding anymore or are you just sort of not sending her messages or replying to anything she posts?
Did she ever express exactly why it had changed after 15 years? Was she always against it but never said, was she fine and then it recently changed?
Did you start interacting with her a lot more frequently then you had ever done in the past?
Do you flirt with this other woman?

Anyway, it sounds like this is for the best.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
I see.
So, is everything smooth with your wife?
How did it go down, did you ghost this cousin or tell her you'll not be corresponding anymore or are you just sort of not sending her messages or replying to anything she posts?
Did she ever express exactly why it had changed after 15 years? Was she always against it but never said, was she fine and then it recently changed?
Did you start interacting with her a lot more frequently then you had ever done in the past?
Do you flirt with this other woman?

Anyway, it sounds like this is for the best.
My wife had asked me to stop talking to her but didn't say why, so the next day after I received a funny meme from her cousin I replied with a smart-ass type of comment which was replied with a LOL . After my wife told me she was feeling jealous and suspicious of her cousin and I chatting and felt uncomfortable I just don't reply to the messages. I feel bad in not replying or explaining why I can't reply because that'll most Likely ruin their relationship. Most of our chatting was sarcastic towards each other or making fun of other people we knew. We would mainly chat during work hrs but since I opened an Instagram acct it got a bit more frequent with the dm's
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Maybe if you found some common interest your wife has and share those laughs and giggles with her you would have no need to share your time and emotions with her cousin. Definitely crossing a line.
I understand what you're saying, my wife and I share our common interests together in person. She can't reply or have text conversation while at work . So at home we catch up . I never ignored my wife to chat with her cousin. The only emotion I ever showed to her cousin was laughter
 

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My wife has now forbidden me from chatting with her cousin because it's disrespectful and I shouldn't be chatting with her because she doesn't like it and if I continue to chat it's because I want to be with her... I'm told to ignore the cousin now and I would be betraying her if I continued chatting... I've never hidden my conversations with the cousin
Jesus, she sounds like your mommy, "forbidding" you to talk to someone you've been talking to on and off for 15 years.

If you actually allow her to DICTATE what you're "allowed" to do and what you're not "allowed" to do, then you'll be setting a very ugly precedent for yourself.

Your wife's foolish insecurity is HER issue to deal with, not yours to fix.

I've stopped already.
Oh jeez, I see you already folded like a house of cards and you're actually ignoring this cousin for no reason at all. Sack up and stop acting like you're in high school, OP. You're a grown man for God's sakes.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Jesus, she sounds like your mommy, "forbidding" you to talk to someone you've been talking to on and off for 15 years.

If you actually allow her to DICTATE what you're "allowed" to do and what you're not "allowed" to do, then you'll be setting a very ugly precedent for yourself.

Your wife's foolish insecurity is HER issue to deal with, not yours to fix.



Oh jeez, I see you already folded like a house of cards and you're actually ignoring this cousin for no reason at all. Sack up and stop acting like you're in high school, OP. You're a grown man for God's sakes.
I've made mistakes before that lead to her insecurity, I want to be respectful to my wife
 
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