:iagree:Any time you put yourself out there above the normal and get rejected it hurts.
I've done stuff in the past to put myself out there and get rejected, so you just want to do as little as possible, figuring if you're going to get turned down then why put a bunch of effort into it.
I feel your pain.
Does your husband have any erectile dysfunction? Anxiety about performance? Has he been tested for hormonal imbalance?CharlieParker-In this situation it was that we already had it planned for after dinner but he started making excuses on the way home like he was tired, had a long day at work etc. I understood and just ditched the idea before I even got rejected. The problem was, he put me off all weekend because he wanted to "unwrap his present on his birthday". I felt that was kinda harsh to then reject me on his birthday.
MrHappyHat- I can never initiate in the sex department. He's woken me up before and then just stopped. Actually this recently started happening. He said we don't have to go all the way all the time. I've convinced him otherwise but he definitely holds the cards ALL the time. I guess in everything in our relationship even though we both are equal as in work and providing.
I can't be spontaneous because he's always rejecting. I can't plan it because it kills the mood for him and some of it for me. It's only when he wants it or not at all but I'm trying to make him want it more by being more alluring I guess you would say.
Oh believe me I have. He doesn't seem to care. He will just stay in the computer room gaming and come to bed when he's done. If he needs to come in there sooner he will just knock.The birthday thing sucks. Something similar happened to me once (and thankfully only once), I asked her "you don't seem to be in the mood." No she says. "OK, I'll be in the bedroom for about 15 minutes, I'm glad we bought new lube." How would it go over if you did something similar?
While, yes, it's planned but agreeing "to set the alarm clock at little earlier" can be fun, anticipation is a good thing. You could go to the kitchen in PJ's to make coffee and come back with the coffee wearing something sexy.
Yes, it is important, and you do deserve a fulfilling, healthy sex life!He doesn't have ED. I don't think he has performance anxiety just seems to be LD. He doesn't want his T levels checked and I am really beginning to resent him for this lacking element in our marriage. Trying really hard but need a partner that will meet me halfway because sex is really important to me.
I completely understand but I don't have any suggestions for you. My wife has never met me half way when it comes to our sex life. Our sex life has been deteriorating for 10 years, and I have tried everything to get her more engaged. I feel like I'm doing 90% of the work when it comes to keeping our sex life alive, and she just shows up 3 times per month to satisfy her needs. If she dressed in lingerie for me without me begging and making me feel like I'm asking for a huge favor each time, I would be thrilled.I am really begining to resent him for this lacking element in our marriage. Trying really hard but need a partner that will meet me halfway because sex is really important to me.
Well, have you tried what I did? Make her owe you something then coerce her to come to counselling unless she wants to make herself look like total selfish unfair b....I've tried suggesting a MC, but she doesn't want to. She's in denial.
I've done something similar to this before. He would probably just complain that I was interupting whatever he was doing. I've even come into the computer room in a towel after a shower smelling nice and perfumed. No he wasn't always this way. When we first met he'd make up excuses to get me out of my clothes and massage me. He still isn't always this way it just seems like the mood only strikes him to jump on me very very rarely. Even when I initiate he only occaisionly takes me up on my offer eagerly and when he does its sooo awesome. I just wish he would do it all the time and that he would initiate more. Throw a girl a bone....lol. That came out wrong.It sounds like performance anxiety or low testosterone to me. Was he always this way?
What would he do if you came into the family room to watch TV with him in a short t-shirt and panties...and asked him for a foot massage with your favorite lotion? This is a great way to get into the mood, and is outside of the bedroom....and when he is almost done, ask him to do your legs...and so on. What would he do?
