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I think you need to understand fully two things

1/ Having a personality disorder (mstbxw had / has a combination of borderl and bi pol disorders) can mentally set you up, guide you, along a particular pathway - flirting EA etc BUT

2/ Has no bearing on the decision you then make to act upon such feelings and take the indiscretion into an entirely different area - full adultery etc

That is a choice the wayward spouse makes unhindered by any disorder.

I don't believe any personality disorder actually made a ws go over the threshold when it came to the final decision

They do like to use that as their excuse in many cases but it's poor due to the fact that disordered or not any WS has the mental capacity to be fully aware of the consequences of their actions in these circumstances.

More extreme mental illness is different but personality disorder sufferers are, even in the most severe cases, not impaired in their ability to think clearly and logically about their actions
 
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