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When a person deflects projects lies blameshifts during and post affair and degrades their spouse for things not degraded pre affair...
Is this a sign of a npd? Affair fog? Or fear of being caught. Ws spouse said he did not fall in love. If he did he wont admit.
But he deflects from wrongdoings and projects all his emotions and choices on me. Feels if he acts a certain way i must as well too. Like i think and act just like him.
This he now says led to misunderstandings miscommunication and affair.
 

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Your old man made a choice, and I think he is going to do it again in a few years...I know my old lady was the same way the 1st go around and with in 5 years she was at it again, but then again we both swept it so far under the rug that her infidelity didn't raise its ugly head until I had enough of doing what ever I wanted while she did what ever she wanted.

I think he is making this about you and it should be about him cuz from were I'm sitting he could be with a completely different chick and still do the same crap to her.

Your old man hasn't learned a damn thing here.

Thats my $0.02
 

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I think you need to understand fully two things

1/ Having a personality disorder (mstbxw had / has a combination of borderl and bi pol disorders) can mentally set you up, guide you, along a particular pathway - flirting EA etc BUT

2/ Has no bearing on the decision you then make to act upon such feelings and take the indiscretion into an entirely different area - full adultery etc

That is a choice the wayward spouse makes unhindered by any disorder.

I don't believe any personality disorder actually made a ws go over the threshold when it came to the final decision

They do like to use that as their excuse in many cases but it's poor due to the fact that disordered or not any WS has the mental capacity to be fully aware of the consequences of their actions in these circumstances.

More extreme mental illness is different but personality disorder sufferers are, even in the most severe cases, not impaired in their ability to think clearly and logically about their actions
 
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