Talk About Marriage banner

1 - 20 of 32 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
127 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Has this forum addressed the topic of personal grooming and impact on sex?

My wife thinks men should be "hairy" and it is just natural, so she is not in favor of any man-scaping, and almost acts of if the idea of it is a turn off. I have no issue with her having an opinion and being confident in what she likes and does not like, but sometimes too much pubic hair is not overly comfortable. I am fine with her not wanting it trimmed too short (picky...I know....not fun), but when I even do a minor trim, she seems to act disappointed. Same with my chest hair. If it starts coming out the top of my shirt, I trim it. It has nothing to do wit her, it is because I dont like it.

I dont ask her to groom in any particular way. She does what she feels is best for her.

I feel stuck, that if I do any cleanup of any kind, she acts less sexually attracted to me.

Do other women feel that passionate about it one way or another? Assuming hygiene is always good, does hair grooming have that much impact on the sexual appeal?

I know I have opinions on female grooming that I think some ways are sexier than others, but I never feel negative or turned off by any style.

Do I just give in and follow my wife's preference? It would not be the end of the world for me, it just seems a bit petty an odd to have minor adjustments to body hair have any impact at all on how she views me? I would TOTALLY understand if I was stubble and it hurt her during sex, or was doing something extreme, but in my case, I am just talking about a minor trim to keep things in check.

Any advise from the ladies? Is this type of things that big of a deal? I asked a male friend of mine this weekend, and he said his wife is insistent that he has zero pubic hair. Nothing wrong with zero pubes, if that is what people are into, but again, seemed odd to me that it was such a huge thing for both my wife and his...each having very specific expectations.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,556 Posts
Ahhh shoot.

Maybe this can go both ways, depending on m/f answering but I'll say groom it the way you like.

I'll admit I like DWs a certain way although I'm not insistent on it.

Probably a double standard to be tossed about somewhere.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
127 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Ahhh shoot.

Maybe this can go both ways, depending on m/f answering but I'll say groom it the way you like.

I'll admit I like DWs a certain way although I'm not insistent on it.

Probably a double standard to be tossed about somewhere.
but if DW's happens to not groom in your preferred way, I assume it is not a turn off, just not necessarily what you prefer?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,556 Posts
And you're right, it's not a turn off, just a preference. Like chocolate or vanilla ice cream. I like both but will have vanilla 99% of the time. But like chocolate very much, too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,675 Posts
Here is my question... does her actions change when you have long or trimmed body hair or is it Just her verbally telling you things?

Do you see a difference in the amount of times she initiates or gives you blow jobs? Because it’s one thing to verbally suggest or complain, and it’s another thing to flat out stop doing something because you don’t like their grooming.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,883 Posts
I would tell her that it hurts your feelings that you doing something to make yourself more comfortable makes her act the way she does. Turn it around on her and let her see it from your point of view. Does she eschew 6 inch high-heels (they hurt my feet), to-the-waist hair (long hair gives me headaches), etc?
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
5,264 Posts
My wife thinks men should be "hairy" and it is just natural, so she is not in favor of any man-scaping, and almost acts of if the idea of it is a turn off. I have no issue with her having an opinion and being confident in what she likes and does not like, but sometimes too much pubic hair is not overly comfortable. I am fine with her not wanting it trimmed too short (picky...I know....not fun), but when I even do a minor trim, she seems to act disappointed. Same with my chest hair. If it starts coming out the top of my shirt, I trim it. It has nothing to do wit her, it is because I dont like it.

I dont ask her to groom in any particular way. She does what she feels is best for her.

I feel stuck, that if I do any cleanup of any kind, she acts less sexually attracted to me.

Do other women feel that passionate about it one way or another? Assuming hygiene is always good, does hair grooming have that much impact on the sexual appeal?

I know I have opinions on female grooming that I think some ways are sexier than others, but I never feel negative or turned off by any style.

Do I just give in and follow my wife's preference? It would not be the end of the world for me, it just seems a bit petty an odd to have minor adjustments to body hair have any impact at all on how she views me? I would TOTALLY understand if I was stubble and it hurt her during sex, or was doing something extreme, but in my case, I am just talking about a minor trim to keep things in check.

Any advise from the ladies? Is this type of things that big of a deal? I asked a male friend of mine this weekend, and he said his wife is insistent that he has zero pubic hair. Nothing wrong with zero pubes, if that is what people are into, but again, seemed odd to me that it was such a huge thing for both my wife and his...each having very specific expectations.
My answer to preferences or wants in a marriage really depends on how much it matters to each of you. In other words, is this the hill you want to die on. Will being manscaped have a bigger effect on you or her? If being natural is a deal breaker to you, then tell her so and ask that she not bring it up again. But just because it's your deal breaker, doesn't mean she has to force herself to like it. She may well find it unattractive enough that she loses sexual attraction to you. Her preference is not any more or less petty than any preference you might have with regards to her appearance. It's what you find attractive and changing that is going to affect your attraction to that person.

Is there an ability for compromise on this issue? Can you let it grow out a little so that it's not gone but it's not natural length?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
315 Posts
Has this forum addressed the topic of personal grooming and impact on sex?

My wife thinks men should be "hairy" and it is just natural, so she is not in favor of any man-scaping, and almost acts of if the idea of it is a turn off. I have no issue with her having an opinion and being confident in what she likes and does not like, but sometimes too much pubic hair is not overly comfortable. I am fine with her not wanting it trimmed too short (picky...I know....not fun), but when I even do a minor trim, she seems to act disappointed. Same with my chest hair. If it starts coming out the top of my shirt, I trim it. It has nothing to do wit her, it is because I dont like it.

I dont ask her to groom in any particular way. She does what she feels is best for her.

I feel stuck, that if I do any cleanup of any kind, she acts less sexually attracted to me.

Do other women feel that passionate about it one way or another? Assuming hygiene is always good, does hair grooming have that much impact on the sexual appeal?

I know I have opinions on female grooming that I think some ways are sexier than others, but I never feel negative or turned off by any style.

Do I just give in and follow my wife's preference? It would not be the end of the world for me, it just seems a bit petty an odd to have minor adjustments to body hair have any impact at all on how she views me? I would TOTALLY understand if I was stubble and it hurt her during sex, or was doing something extreme, but in my case, I am just talking about a minor trim to keep things in check.

Any advise from the ladies? Is this type of things that big of a deal? I asked a male friend of mine this weekend, and he said his wife is insistent that he has zero pubic hair. Nothing wrong with zero pubes, if that is what people are into, but again, seemed odd to me that it was such a huge thing for both my wife and his...each having very specific expectations.
Seems a compromise is in order. Sometimes you trim it some...keep it neat. Sometimes you grow it out for her. She just has to deal during the times you trim it. I do not like beards. My wife likes the way I look when I grow it out some. I might grow it out from time to time for her but for most of the year it is clean shaven.

BTW, we loved our visit to St. Joseph, South Haven and Frankenmuth.
Are you upper or lower peninsula?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,309 Posts
Is this type of things that big of a deal? I asked a male friend of mine this weekend, and he said his wife is insistent that he has zero pubic hair. Nothing wrong with zero pubes, if that is what people are into, but again, seemed odd to me that it was such a huge thing for both my wife and his...each having very specificexpectations.
Am a lady. For me, yeah, it's that big of a deal. I find man-scaping a total turn-off.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
127 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
Seems a compromise is in order. Sometimes you trim it some...keep it neat. Sometimes you grow it out for her. She just has to deal during the times you trim it. I do not like beards. My wife likes the way I look when I grow it out some. I might grow it out from time to time for her but for most of the year it is clean shaven.

BTW, we loved our visit to St. Joseph, South Haven and Frankenmuth.
Are you upper or lower peninsula?
I guess, after consideration of all the replies, it is not a huge deal to just let it grow. I may still sneak a trim of chest hair on occasion (I hate when it comes out the top of my shirt), but I will leave the rest the way she likes it. Its not even the length that she has issue with....she thinks it is not sexy for a man to groom hair at all. Its the act of doing it, that is a turn off for her. She feels a "man should just be a man" and let things go natural
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
127 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Seems a compromise is in order. Sometimes you trim it some...keep it neat. Sometimes you grow it out for her. She just has to deal during the times you trim it. I do not like beards. My wife likes the way I look when I grow it out some. I might grow it out from time to time for her but for most of the year it is clean shaven.

BTW, we loved our visit to St. Joseph, South Haven and Frankenmuth.
Are you upper or lower peninsula?
I am lower peninsula (suburb of Detroit), but also love the Michigan west coast
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,309 Posts
Its not even the length that she has issue with....she thinks it is not sexy for a man to groom hair at all. Its the act of doing it, that is a turn off for her. She feels a "man should just be a man" and let things go natural
Vigorously nodding in agreement with your wife.

I am lower peninsula (suburb of Detroit), but also love the Michigan west coast
Dude, I'm from SE MI. Lived here all my life. It's freakin cold here 2/3 of the year. Of course she likes a warm furry man! 😄
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
708 Posts
TMI from me.

I am manly man and my body hair is like flowing woven steel.

Apparently when I man-scape, the flowing woven steel that frames my junk so nicely turns into a burning torrent of pins and broken glass.

My SO has forbidden any man-scapping as she doesn't like her body to be steel wooled during sex.

Could that be the reason your wife doesn't like you to man-scape?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
127 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
Vigorously nodding in agreement with your wife.


Dude, I'm from SE MI. Lived here all my life. It's freakin cold here 2/3 of the year. Of course she likes a warm furry man! 😄
that is true, as we live in SE MI...lol

After hearing the feedback, I will just stay with what she likes. I think I was just a bit taken back by it, so vented a bit on TAM. If I told her to shave a certain way, and that I was not attracted to her if not, it would not go over well. She is fine with hearing my preferences, but more as a request, not a negative turn off.

Oh well....you have to do stuff sometimes, just to keep your spouse happy. As the HD partner, I surely dont want to do anything that takes away her interest in sex.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
263 Posts
I don't like bare men looking like Jared Kushner. I wonder if he has any hair down south. Very unattractive to me.

I like hair in all the manly places. I don't need any manscape. The only thing I don't feel attracted to is a hairy back. Other than that, I don't mind a hairy man.
 
1 - 20 of 32 Posts
Top