[mrsball]

So, a few questions.

What I have read about the long-term consequences of being married to someone with a pp fetish really scares me, husbands not being able to get off at all unless a car is somehow directly involved, etc. If there is anyone out there in this situation, how has it affected you?

My H is way into this and as much as I have tried to understand he really wont talk about it, he wont even tell me what he likes and doesn't like. We have made a few videos and he just says "do what feels natural" so I do and he STILL ends up looking at videos of other women driving... well, not just looking. It makes me feel like absolute rubbish, but then I did ask him what he wanted and would have been willing to give it to him... so it is his problem for not telling me, or mine for not getting it 'right'... or is is basically a porn/masturbation thing and "all guys do it" so I should just deal with it?

The other thing I find really strange is that he is not interested in my feet any other time, only in bed and in the car, eg no foot rubs, etc. I thought that was supposed to be one of the perks of having a 'foot man'?

I don't exactly know if I am asking for hints or tips and I am a little tired of reading forums where people ask a question like this and all they get in response is 'just go for it, you'll love it, he'll love it' and so on. I can't wear a strappy pear of heels and turn him on, make him ready for later, build the anticipation... he'll just go find a video and 'take care' of himself. Or even if I send him a video of myself, does he wait to get home to 'thank' me for it? No! Yes, we are talking about all these things, and yes he is trying to find a balance (e.g not when I am around and available!)

Before I found this out about H I had NEVER thought of my feet as in any way sexy or sexual, so that in itself is a lot to get used to... just a little lost and wondering if there's anyone else out there who has been/is in this type of thing?

 

[40isthenew20]

I'm a perv with a foot fetish and have never even heard of this.

 

[wiigirl]

I'm a perv with a foot fetish and have never even heard of this.

Me neither....hmmm

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[missymrs80]

Give him a foot job. Hes not interested in rubbing your feet.

 

[anotherguy]

wow. Im a pretty well read guy. 'Pedal Pumping' is a new one on me.

Same with all true fetishes, ultimately - he simply may not be able to sexually function without that specific kind of stimulation unless you keep working this. Its not that there is anything 'wrong' with it - but it does become an problem if it is a requirement to the exclusion of all else.

That you are talking about it and trying to find 'balance' is a good thing of course. I dont have any advice for you really - but I agree that repeated 'advice' to 'explore your sexuality' and 'have at it' would get annoying when you are obviously trying to deal with the beginnings of a fixation.

---

I remember in my teens my (then) girlfriend would suck my toes which was freaking wierd to me... but I admit it felt awesome and returned the favor it was fin... but then again - we both had gloriously beautiful bodies at that point and it was all good. Feet at 50 are a somewhat different animal, and the fettishists perspective is very different than a little toe sucking.

 

[Caribbean Man]

This is really new to me and I absolutely love legs & feet..
I love good footjobs especially in the bathtub.

But pedal pumping?
Never really heard of it as a fetish.

 

[mrsball]

Thanks all for your responses.

gman - I have read that article before. As you can imagine when I first found out about this I wanted to try and understand it, there's not a lot of info out there - however, there are plenty of sites catering specifically to this fetish. I think what you said about the guilt/shame part might be spot on. I have considered this before 1. H is from UK and British people are (stereotypically) not so comfortable with their sexuality. 2. My first reaction when I found out he was looking elsewhere to satisfy this need was less than favourable, but in my defense, it was our honeymoon!
So yes, I have thought about this and am being very conscious on bringing it up casually, in a fun way, you know "How do you think those shoes would look?" or things along those lines. A lifetime of hiding/guilt/shame might take a bit to work your way out of. But thank you for reinforcing this for me.

Anotherguy - as you said, if it becomes a true fetish, he wont be able to function without it and that is part of what truly scares me. I don't mind it for a bit of fun, for something different, but it is already getting to the point where he can't finish, or takes much longer to, if he can't touch or talk about my feet/driving during sex. And from a purely selfish point of view, that means that my needs aren't being met. yes, we talk about this, but I am not expecting any quick/easy fixes.

To all those who said it was new to them, I understand, and I am trying to figure it out 'on the job' so to speak. I would really appreciate any input from anyone who is familiar with this fetish/kink.

And missymrs80 - that's exactly the kind of advice I was hoping to avoid - he gets footjobs - I just don't get what's going on.

 

[ks2002]

Hi Mrs Ball,

I have this fetish so let me provide some perspective.

First off, people with this fetish are EXTREMELY particular about it. For example, some people like "cranking," where a woman is hopelessly jamming on the pedal while turning the engine over trying to get it to start. Others like "brake failures" where a woman is hopelessly jamming on the brake pedal to stop, but the brakes are not working. Another type is "fast driving," where a woman is in total control and driving really fast. In addition to these types, many other things are important, such as the type of footwear (heels, sandals, socks, barefeet, etc etc), the type of pedals (floor mounted/regular), and even the way the foot is positioned on the pedals.

So as you can see, because of how unbelievably particular things have to be to satisfy the fetish, its very difficult for us to successfully communicate this to significant others. The reason is obvious -- that it makes absolutely no sense to anyone but us. When I've tried to explain it in the past to other significant others -- they think im lying, or they express varying levels of frustration, and that type of rejection is crushing, and pushes us to rely on videos online to satiate our "desire". In the past this got out of hand and I would get off from videos too much to the point where I no longer desired my significant other at the time. Hopefully your husband is not quite there yet.

My advice to you is to do your absolute best to get to the bottom of what type of pedal pumping he likes. This is going to be very tough to do but its necessary. You have to be very patient, understanding, and open minded, and you cannot show any hints of frustration. Be willing to explore it, and never, ever act frustrated/weirded out.

Once you get to the point where you know what he likes, don't do it for him all the time. Do it just enough to where you can maintain control over him. He will crave YOU doing it more than any videos, and hopefully that will make things better.

Anyways I've been sort of rambling on, please don't hesitate to ask me any questions.

 

[40isthenew20]

One thing I'm confused about or missed is does the guy sit in the car while the girl is driving if done live? I get (we'll, not get but understand the concept) of seeing a video of this. Just not sure how it works in real life time.

 

[sinnister]

I'm a foot guy but pedal pumping is an offshoot of foot fetish. It's much much more particular.

2002 guy's post should help.

 

[mrsball]

Thanks once again for the input.

ks2002 - what you have to say makes a lot of sense...and yet not so much! I guess like all things there are individual differences, or could be that H is yet to 'settle' on a particular preference. You described quite a specific area of need, yet the videos he watches seem to span quite a few of the areas you mention. That being said, I can see that he does have a particular preference for a type of footware and a type of driving style. This has already been established, and he has made videos of me driving this way for his own 'enjoyment' - maybe it comes back to the last part of your post, I haven't made enough to 'maintain control' over him! Still very confused, but thanks for the info.

I also don't know whether it is worth me trying to show him any different things, I don't want him to get SO focused on one thing that he is closed to the whole realm of sexual experience that a H and W should be able to explore. Knowing what his preferences are, is it worth subtly playing around with that, for e.g. he likes black sandals, is it worth trying sandals of other colours, or other types of black shoes? I have tried asking him these things, and will continue to try, but he is very evasive, just saying 'drive however you want'

I suppose the situation is magnified because this isn't the only sex issue we have, but I do think it is the one that affects all the others. I feel under such pressure to 'perform' for him in this way, and yet he goes and seeks his sexual release with other women. At the same time, he makes very little effort to do anything I ask of him in bed, simple things, like touching me anywhere above the knee!

ks2002, you mentioned you had a problem at one point letting videos over take your desire for your SO, what changed this for you? was it a particular moment? a gradual change? something the other person said or did?

I'm so lost. I have read a post recently from a few wives who have tried to work with their partners for years on this issue, only to end up completely sidelined. I want to to anything I can to make sure that doesn't happen to us!

Thanks once again, and if there is anyone else with insight to offer, I would be most grateful.

 

[ks2002]

Well what changed for me was 2 things:

1. Meeting someone who never made me feel embarrassed/frustrated about the fetish. She (wife) satisfies my fetish for me but never has shown any hint of frustration about the intricate "particularness" of what I like to see.

When I would date people sometimes it would be awkward for me to ask them to let me record videos because of how "weirded out" they were. I'd clumsily record videos of them and get off to them later, but it was not a very comfortable situation.

With my eventual wife, it was never clumsy, she would constantly ask me if it was "working" etc, while she would be doing what I asked while I'm recording. What took things to the next level was that one day she asked me "if you're just jerking off to these videos you make of me why don't I just jerk you off right here in the car?" And so she did, and it was the most amazing experience I had ever had.

2. I decided to stop trying to satisfy myself from videos online. This has nothing to do with a fetish, its like a man who stops viewing porn/getting off on it all the time. If a man isn't satisfying himself all the time, his significant other naturally becomes the only source of satisfaction. This is something your husband absolutely has to do.

Look at it like this -- the situation in #1 made executing #2 easy for me. And #2 automatically is better for her. Hope this helps/makes sense.

 

[Pinkley933]

Hes not interested in rubbing your feet.

 

[old pilot]

MrsBall,
The fetish/kink you are refering to is called "Pedal Pumping."
It is actually fairly common with many websites worldwide. It has several forms but the 2 most common seems to be a woman trying to start her car or has gotten her car stuck in mud, sand or snow. It is both a foot and leg fetish but also the helpless lady in distress. The interesting thing is very few of the websites involve porn. The response from men seems to be equalily divided as to telling their wife or g/f about their fetish.
In comments I have seen online it seems that some women hate it, some love it and some do it to please the man. My best guess is it is all in the way the man treats the woman involved.
If he makes her feel, sexy, desired and special she will probably make sure it happens often. If not she will probably hate it.
I have had that fetish for many years and when I explained it to my wife her response eas "Is that all? That's easy."

 

[ajblast]

Hi..very interesting posts. I have a similar fetish and love it! My current gf does do pedal pumping once in a while but will only do it if I'm laying behind the back of the car directly under the exhaust pipe while she does it. She says that if I want her to pump, she wants to get the satisfaction of blowing exhaust all over my face (def not in a dangerous way). What's fun for me is fun for her. Besides, she said it is very satisfying to get stress out like that!
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[MrGian]

Mrsball,

I am a duplicate of your Husband. The only differance between he and I is I have never told my wife. To much time has past and I have been producing the videos he is probably watching now for over 15 years. Neil's gaspedal honeys,PedalSupreme,Msveryshy. Any of these sound familiar? I think I can offer you some help and advise. This is the most powerfull situation I have ever delt with. To this day if I hear an engine cranking and not starting,My head will stap in that direction. It is all incompusing.

In your case,Your doing everything corect,Except driving it home ,so to speak. He wants you to do it for him and would be completely satisfied with you and you alone. You have to take charge and make him believe that this is something you want to do for him. He is still very uncomfortable with the idea of you knowing and seeks your aproval.

Better yet,Completely surprise him. Think of an off the wall reason to pick him up from work or something. Be in his favorite pedalpumping atire and don't say a word.Just drive to a place where you feel it won't attract other attention and have the car stall.( I can explain how to do that) Then without hesitation try to re start the car in the way he likes. Most importantely,act as if he isn't even there. You will forever controll his fantasy from that point on.

 

[CuddleBug]

Agreed. Give him foot jobs.

I like my wife's feet because they're soft, sexy but not because of the taste, smell and what shoes she wears.

I don't treat her, oh, there are the feet when she walks on by either.

The occasional foot job for me and I'm good.

Now have him do something equivalent for you, fetish or fantasy you might have. Tell him you will give him foot jobs if he does something for you as well. Marriage is 50 / 50.

 

[old pilot]

MrGian,
I am confident I know who you are. Your reply to her was excellent, accurate and honest. If she follows your advice she will have a long and happy marrage. My hat is off to him for taking the risk to be open and honest with her. That was a big risk for him and if she does not take your advice it will be her loss.

I hope you will continue to produce videos.

 

[mrsball]

What can I say, I have done all these things. And I get nothing in return. He wouldn't even look at me the last time I picked him up from work. I offer to pick him up, he's not interested. I turn up at work by surprise, wont look at me. He bought me shoes for our anniversary, first time ever, but wont look at me when I wear them. I made him a video in them and he wont watch it. Does he still look up videos of others the second I leave the house, or on his break at work - you bet!

There was much more to my original question than how to satisfy my husband. It was about getting him to acknowledge me above the ankle and outside the bedroom. Thank you for completely overlooking that aspect.

How can we have an equitable sexual relationship when, as pointed out repeatedly here, I have to be mindful of the 'huge risk' he took in confiding this aspect of his sexuality with me, but noone acknowledges the risk I take every time I think of asking him to kiss me, knowing that will put an instant end to our encounter? Things are so far out of balance, that is what I am asking for. Advice on how to enjoy this with him, but not continue to let it dominate our severely limited sex life.

 

[gman95901]

What can I say, I have done all these things. And I get nothing in return. He wouldn't even look at me the last time I picked him up from work. I offer to pick him up, he's not interested. I turn up at work by surprise, wont look at me. He bought me shoes for our anniversary, first time ever, but wont look at me when I wear them. I made him a video in them and he wont watch it. Does he still look up videos of others the second I leave the house, or on his break at work - you bet!

There was much more to my original question than how to satisfy my husband. It was about getting him to acknowledge me above the ankle and outside the bedroom. Thank you for completely overlooking that aspect.

How can we have an equitable sexual relationship when, as pointed out repeatedly here, I have to be mindful of the 'huge risk' he took in confiding this aspect of his sexuality with me, but noone acknowledges the risk I take every time I think of asking him to kiss me, knowing that will put an instant end to our encounter? Things are so far out of balance, that is what I am asking for. Advice on how to enjoy this with him, but not continue to let it dominate our severely limited sex life.

I have to agree with the OP based on the past few comments. The post responses have been severely limited and focused mainly from a male point of view. In responding to this thread many have lost perspective of the point of view in question. As mrsball stated, she needs to be acknowledged above the ankle instead of feeding someone's partialism below it. That is hardly the definition of a marriage. I hope for her sake that a worthwhile response is given to this thread in the near future, or that the she finds a middle ground from which to work with. No amount of advice given applies since as she puts it, 'he wont even look at her'. This is a shame and again, I hope that someone with some sort of viable experience will come forward to help her. Enough said...