I am so frustrated with counseling right now. My husband and I are not getting anywere. I feel like he's is a professional liar on his recount of anything. He then gets sweet after the session like he didn't spin a web of deception for the past hour. I want to hit him! We have a married couple who are our counselors that come to our house bi-weekly. I feel like they just don't come out and hold us accountable for anything. My husband is the slob among slobs, yet he mentions that he hates it when i put the trash by the front door. I put the trash by the front door b/c i think it's his job to take out the trash. His responsibilities include, going to work, paying the bills (bimonthly), and doing the yard work. I ask that he has one inside house chore and that is to take the trash out on his way out the door in the morning. Is that so hard? I am expected to clean every other aspect of the house. I am a stay at home mom to a 2 year old and a one year old. I clean all day. I clean messes all day. He works from 5am-330pm 4 days a week. 2 days a week he takes 3 college classes and then has off on Sunday. I know its alot. I get up at 6am 3 days a week and by 7-8 am every other day. I am with kids that cry, whine, and fight all day and all night. I get 1.5 hours of a break to myself about 3 times a week. I'm burnt out. He naturally only needs 5 hours of sleep and is awake from 2:30am- 9:30pm every night. He gets 2 hrs in the am to himself, and about 2 hours at night, plus lunch breaks, time between classes, and the drive to/from home. 7 hours of breaks daily to himself vs. 1.5 hours of time to myself. Unbalanced? I should say so. He has given our one son a bath three times in his whole life and never given our other son a bath ever. He has a freaking mountain of clothes by his bed, but complains if i leave a piece of lettuce in the sink. On the nights he cooks, he just leaves everything on the stove for me to clean that night or the next day. He is a slob, yet complains in counseling that I don't do enough. How is it that I was considered anal before marriage and now am the one being accused of being messy. They say it's a deeper issue of not feeling appreciated on both sides. I said the only way for me not to leave the trash by the front door is if I do it as he will let it pile up. He then says, "This is why I don't say anything b/c she reacts this way." I said, "Help me to understand. What do you suggest, if I dont put the trash at the front door and you don't do the trash, then I have to give in and do the trash, as well. I ask him in the trash example how would he respond in my situation. He says he doesn't know. I said, "If you don't know how you would respond, then how do you expect me to know??? If you don't take the trash outside and I don't put it out the door and you don't do the trash, then isn't the only conclusion that I say, then I do the trash on top of everything else?" Is that not just saying he wants me to do the trash and he can make a complete mess of the house and I do it all. He gets off of work at the end of the day, but I don't? How is that fair? Does he think I sit on my butt all day? I started taking video of the house when he says something so my friend can see how messy he is and then see how me leaving one pair of jeans on the floor is what he has the nerve to complain about in front of his mt. vesuvius (sp) of clothes he keeps by the bed. So I started having the house looking like a hotel before he comes home at 4pm and then staying up late cleaning so he sees it clean first thing in the morning as he walks out the door. Yet, he still complains about me leaving something out on the counter for an hour before going back and cleaning up after myself. I clean all freaking day. God forbid, I take a break. Yet he leaves things out for weeks, months, and years! He cleaned his side of the bed for the first time in a 18 months!! Why can't they cut through the crap and tell us what's wrong? Are they afraid of us not trusting them if they call us on the carpet on something? Are they trying to get us to come to our own solutions? I am so impatient. I"m rambling, but so pissed, I can't sleep. I am so stressed and pissed that I just want to hit him or throw something. Help me!!