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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, my first time. Have been looking over a number of posts and seeing the responses. What I get from this is these forums give us an opportunity to share our issues out in the open and through the responses, we can calibrate our own thoughts based in feedback. I guess for many of us, we want to know is the way I'm thinking or actions in the 'norm' zone or am I being unreasonable. Having that been said, I've got my own little story...

My female partner is overseas on a working volunteer (works so many hours and gets food and and room) at this retreat place. We often catch up on phone and messaging. The other day she was telling me she was in the retreats spa (hot tub) with her swimsuit on late at night soaking it up. The place was dimly lit. Two elderly men who were guests at the retreat turn up, one goes to the shower unit but the other decides to jump into the spa with my partner naked. As she put it, with his 'elephant truck" floating around. They chatted for a while and as it was late they decided to get out. He told her he didn't really know his away around the site so she happily escorted him back to his room. Next day in the afternoon, he joins a group of woman in a pool naked again...my partner was there and she said she didn't mind as she's already see it and he was a nice guy.
Next day, she decided to have another late night spa and yes, as you can could guess, this man turns up again and joins her in spa (which I might add is only 2 wide.) She said they had a good chat together for about 45mins and then got out and presumably to go back to their own rooms.

I told her was pretty disturbed about what happen, but she said nothing happened. I asked her if she kept for swimsuit too as she does like the nudity lifestyle at times. She said yes she did. But I found the whole situation bizarre. I told her what kind of man just comes to a spa with a woman stranger in it and jumps in nude. She said she can't control what others do and as she was dress, she saw no point in getting out.

My thoughts went rampant that night and only could think what could happen in that situation late at night, them two alone in a spa, dimly light. The spa is so small physical touching would of been a given.
I told her how would she feel if I was in that situation and a naked woman jumped in and I decided to chat to her and help her find way back to her room. and then do it again another night. She said, no, she wouldn't be happy about it. But then said what could she have done.?
I am wondering to myself, did they decide to meet again for another late night spa...? really felt like it and whether she keep her swimsuit on or not, I'm not sure...having doubts

She was pretty angry at me and told me to "get over yourself"... as to say, Ive got jealousy issues.

Am I'm the off the mark here... ? Would others think what I was thinking, that had to all the ingredients of to go 'further' than what she has said or admitted to.
 

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My female partner is overseas on a working volunteer (works so many hours and gets food and and room) at this retreat place.
I would love to know what type volunteer work
and that there is a retreat place spa there ,

overseas could be anywhere ,
as I am in Europe this is normal in many countries ,
normally lights are dim
and in the steam rooms you can not see your hand ,
in some countries toilets are unisex as are changing rooms

it does seem strange that you can end up talking about something so normal like as if you were chatting in a pub
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I was hoping she would of said 'I feel uncomfortable about this, would you get something on before before coming back in"... but think too this would be a long shot. Does seem pretty casual... almost like encouraging him and making him feel welcomed.
 

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I feel the need to ask for more context in terms of the volunteering. My mind went to wondering if the man was possibly living with dementia or an ABI or something? I’m not suggesting she ought to still be ‘okay’ with his nudity, yet it does give more context and understanding to the scenario. And/or if there was a cultural aspect?

I wouldn’t jump to conclusion of ‘welcoming’ his actions though.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
All I know is its a retreat for all various types of groups/individuals... bit of meditation, yoga, that type of stuff...
Not sure of this man's background... maybe comfortable for him to hang out nude...
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I feel the need to ask for more context in terms of the volunteering. My mind went to wondering if the man was possibly living with dementia or an ABI or something? I’m not suggesting she ought to still be ‘okay’ with his nudity, yet it does give more context and understanding to the scenario. And/or if there was a cultural aspect?

I wouldn’t jump to conclusion of ‘welcoming’ his actions though.
Tough one to gauge about whether she was welcoming... felt like it to me.. wanted to realise no many men would be happy about another man jumping in the spa with her especially naked...and especially alone and late at night.
 

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i still don't get what type volunteer work this is and where ?
 

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the old boy might be a left over from the 1960s hippies,
 

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I don't personally know any men who would be okay with a naked man jumping in the hot tub with their wife/girlfriend late at night to "chat" or anything else.
I’m with you.
The first time…ok, she’s on the spot so I would expect her to excuse herself quickly and go. But there shouldn’t be a “let’s go back to my room” walk, nor a second date.
 

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Hi, my first time. Have been looking over a number of posts and seeing the responses. What I get from this is these forums give us an opportunity to share our issues out in the open and through the responses, we can calibrate our own thoughts based in feedback. I guess for many of us, we want to know is the way I'm thinking or actions in the 'norm' zone or am I being unreasonable. Having that been said, I've got my own little story...

My female partner is overseas on a working volunteer (works so many hours and gets food and and room) at this retreat place. We often catch up on phone and messaging. The other day she was telling me she was in the retreats spa (hot tub) with her swimsuit on late at night soaking it up. The place was dimly lit. Two elderly men who were guests at the retreat turn up, one goes to the shower unit but the other decides to jump into the spa with my partner naked. As she put it, with his 'elephant truck" floating around. They chatted for a while and as it was late they decided to get out. He told her he didn't really know his away around the site so she happily escorted him back to his room. Next day in the afternoon, he joins a group of woman in a pool naked again...my partner was there and she said she didn't mind as she's already see it and he was a nice guy.
Next day, she decided to have another late night spa and yes, as you can could guess, this man turns up again and joins her in spa (which I might add is only 2 wide.) She said they had a good chat together for about 45mins and then got out and presumably to go back to their own rooms.

I told her was pretty disturbed about what happen, but she said nothing happened. I asked her if she kept for swimsuit too as she does like the nudity lifestyle at times. She said yes she did. But I found the whole situation bizarre. I told her what kind of man just comes to a spa with a woman stranger in it and jumps in nude. She said she can't control what others do and as she was dress, she saw no point in getting out.

My thoughts went rampant that night and only could think what could happen in that situation late at night, them two alone in a spa, dimly light. The spa is so small physical touching would of been a given.
I told her how would she feel if I was in that situation and a naked woman jumped in and I decided to chat to her and help her find way back to her room. and then do it again another night. She said, no, she wouldn't be happy about it. But then said what could she have done.?
I am wondering to myself, did they decide to meet again for another late night spa...? really felt like it and whether she keep her swimsuit on or not, I'm not sure...having doubts

She was pretty angry at me and told me to "get over yourself"... as to say, Ive got jealousy issues.

Am I'm the off the mark here... ? Would others think what I was thinking, that had to all the ingredients of to go 'further' than what she has said or admitted to.
Your concern is absolutely VALID.

Why does your partner feel the need to volunteer there and allow a naked man to join her in Spa or baths? Even escort him to his room?

You have told her how you feel about this matter but she does not seem to care about your feelings. She put you in your place in return.

Do you want to be treated like this in your relationship? No regard for your concerns? No regard for your boundaries?

I would not find this BS acceptable if I were in your shoes.
 

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The easiest thing would have been for her to get out as soon as he got in. Many women wouldn't feel comfortable with a naked guy getting in a small hot tub so close together late at night. I certainly wouldn't have walked him back to his room.
As for her volunteering, it sounds like a holiday to me.
 

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I definitely wouldn't be okay with it in your shoes. I also know my wife would have freaked out, cussed out the perv, then would have gotten out of the hut tub.

Is this a place where nudity is acceptable or condoned? Most places in the US this guy would be arrested for indecent exposure.
as far as I know he would be arrested in the uk ,
 
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