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6,644 Posts
The first part was shut down and I didn't get a chance to respond to my critics. Here goes.
To answer some questions, our marriage has struggled for a long time. I should have left years ago. 2 (now almost 3 years ago), I came here looking for advice. I wanted my marriage to work and BOTH of us worked hard to make it such. It seems in working so hard, we realized that if something takes that much work, there isn't much left. Going out to a bar and having fun was something we looked forward to but driving there we barely spoke and now we both agree it was more exciting to dress up and have a night out, away from the kids and doing something other than watching television.
I asked him a few weeks ago if he was in love with me and he said no. He said he loved me but not in love. We talked at length and came to the conclusion that we have settled in to comfort, if you will. He loves me because he can tell me anything and I the same. He loves that I get him. He loves that I always have his back. He loves that I am his greatest cheerleader. He loves that when he comes home, he knows I will be there with an understanding ear. He loves that I look good. He loves that I can (in his words) light up a room and he said he has no intention of divorcing me, ever. He said we work well together and loves everything about me. Not once did he mention sexual attraction or anything close to that. I guess the reason I never left was because as awful as that was to hear, he too provided that for me. Smart, good looking and my best friend. He knows literally everything about me and accepted me despite of it.
Last night I told him about my desire to cheat and he didn't seem shocked. He understood and said he too has thought of it. Wow! He has rejected me time and time again and yet wants sex from others? A wife who wants sex 24/7 and he doesn't? Crushed is the only word that comes to mind but makes me all that much determined to find love.
To answer some more questions, I am not rewriting anything. There is nobody else. I don't have some dude in mind and frankly wouldn't know where to find one if I did decide to cheat. The reason I posted was more of a "talk me off the ledge" kind of thing or shall I say "talk me off of changing my position on cheating" thing. I am not a cheater but I am very angry. His response upset me deeply. Many have asked why I pushed his hand away when he grabbed my feet. It angered me because he has rejected me so much and the only contact I get is hand holding, feet and an occasional hug. I DON'T consider that touch. I like sex. Touching my feet and falling asleep is not sexy, not at all.
Again, you get married. Pledge your sexuality to your spouse and they throw it away. So at what point is it okay to cheat? Is it okay if you have already told your spouse that you might and their response is nothing short of "meh"?.
Posted via Mobile Device
Mr Whatever the hell your name is, I am not an opportunist. I took my inheritance from my Grandfather and put my husband through graduate school. When all was said and done, it was just over $150K. My Grandfather saved and scrimped for that money so that I could realize my dreams. I didn't, but my husband did with money I used to pay for his grad school and a new car, so tell me again how much of a gold digger I am. I dare you.
To answer some questions, our marriage has struggled for a long time. I should have left years ago. 2 (now almost 3 years ago), I came here looking for advice. I wanted my marriage to work and BOTH of us worked hard to make it such. It seems in working so hard, we realized that if something takes that much work, there isn't much left. Going out to a bar and having fun was something we looked forward to but driving there we barely spoke and now we both agree it was more exciting to dress up and have a night out, away from the kids and doing something other than watching television.
I asked him a few weeks ago if he was in love with me and he said no. He said he loved me but not in love. We talked at length and came to the conclusion that we have settled in to comfort, if you will. He loves me because he can tell me anything and I the same. He loves that I get him. He loves that I always have his back. He loves that I am his greatest cheerleader. He loves that when he comes home, he knows I will be there with an understanding ear. He loves that I look good. He loves that I can (in his words) light up a room and he said he has no intention of divorcing me, ever. He said we work well together and loves everything about me. Not once did he mention sexual attraction or anything close to that. I guess the reason I never left was because as awful as that was to hear, he too provided that for me. Smart, good looking and my best friend. He knows literally everything about me and accepted me despite of it.
Last night I told him about my desire to cheat and he didn't seem shocked. He understood and said he too has thought of it. Wow! He has rejected me time and time again and yet wants sex from others? A wife who wants sex 24/7 and he doesn't? Crushed is the only word that comes to mind but makes me all that much determined to find love.
To answer some more questions, I am not rewriting anything. There is nobody else. I don't have some dude in mind and frankly wouldn't know where to find one if I did decide to cheat. The reason I posted was more of a "talk me off the ledge" kind of thing or shall I say "talk me off of changing my position on cheating" thing. I am not a cheater but I am very angry. His response upset me deeply. Many have asked why I pushed his hand away when he grabbed my feet. It angered me because he has rejected me so much and the only contact I get is hand holding, feet and an occasional hug. I DON'T consider that touch. I like sex. Touching my feet and falling asleep is not sexy, not at all.
Again, you get married. Pledge your sexuality to your spouse and they throw it away. So at what point is it okay to cheat? Is it okay if you have already told your spouse that you might and their response is nothing short of "meh"?.
Posted via Mobile Device
Mr Whatever the hell your name is, I am not an opportunist. I took my inheritance from my Grandfather and put my husband through graduate school. When all was said and done, it was just over $150K. My Grandfather saved and scrimped for that money so that I could realize my dreams. I didn't, but my husband did with money I used to pay for his grad school and a new car, so tell me again how much of a gold digger I am. I dare you.