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I am rather young (31) and have been with my husband for 10 years and we've been married 8 of them. I love my husband with
all my heart. He is the best man for me, treats me well, would walk through fire for me and is the best dad a kid could
have. My issue - my parents HATE him with a passion and even more so that I just told them we are moving away (4hr drive)
at the end of this month.

How it all started ....

A few years back my husband did something really really stupid! He robbed a store. He reason was stupid. He lost his job and
was afraid to tell me. We were flat broke, had no money for gas, food, rent - anything! He stole less than $100 and we ended up
paying thousands of dollars in lawyers fee's and fines. His parents are broke. My parents are judgemental so he felt he
had no other option. He served his time, went to councelling. I do not condone what he did and I feel in my heart that he
will never be that stupid or selfish again. Now, to be totally honest, he has bounced around from job to job since I've
known him but he's never been without work for more than a couple of weeks.

The lying part on his end didn't stop there. He has lost a few jobs since then, again, was never without work long. But
also neglected to tell me about is lack of employment .... I'd expect money to come in and eventually I'd figure it out.
This has happened three times since his jail stint. The third time I left and my children and I moved in with my parents
for 6 months. In that time he had a steady job ( has been there for 2 years now )we are back together and things could
not be any better between us. We went to marraige councelling, I learned of a few childhood issues he had that could
explain his behavior.

The move ....

My husbands last job (the one he was at for 2 years)went belly up, the company went bankrupted - I called and checked and
all his paperwork adds up. He was paid what he was owed too. Some background on me - I was with the same company for
12 years and was paid a pretty decent salary. They laid about 30 people off in January because they re-located my division
to the States. So, in the past 8 months or so I've been the one who's been bounching between mininum wage jobs.

We are moving to a smallish town that is a 4 hour drive from the super expensive mega city that we currently live in.
My husbands family lives in the town we are moving to and they knew a guy who was looking to hire someone in my husbands
field. We talked about it and decided it would be a good idea for him to interview for the position and he got the job
making more money to start than he was making here. I make peanuts so we decided to move. Everything is cheaper there too
rent (we live in a 3 bedroom apartment and pay $1500 including utilities - we are renting a house for $800 inclusive)
insurance and gas is a huge savings too.

To sum it all up -

My parents have alway hated my husband because of his lies - they think he is taking me and the kids away from them on purpose.
My fathers exact words were "He is dead to me, I better never see him again or I will drop him where he stands" My mom
was crying and saying I am going to fail and be back at there door soon enough. They said the drive it too far so they wont
come and visit often (but they will take a trip 5 times a year that is a 4hr flight and travel for my nephews hockey games)
I want to maintain a relationship with my parents but more than that I want the relationship I have with my husband. I've
never stood up to my parents and I am at my breaking point. I am choosing my immediate family over my parents and sisters.
I believe that is the right thing to do. Why don't they see it??

A side note --- They HATE my husband but my dad feels no two ways about asking him to fix stuff at their house or go
electrionic shopping with him and having him install his new TV's, computers or being his personal barber.
My mom asks him to safety proof my grandfathers house, installing handrails in the hallway and grab bars in the bathrooms
.... but they still hate him!

1,999 Posts
If your parents hate your husband, they shouldn't be asking him to do anything for them.

It sounds like your husband is a convicted felon and a liar.

How can you trust someone who is so dishonest?

Would you want your child married to someone like that?

856 Posts
I guess your parents worry about you, you would too if the roles were reversed. All you can do is try to live a good life and in time, if h keeps on the straight and narrow, they will see living proof that he has matured.
It is nervy of them to ask him for his help!
I would guess that you are at the point where if he tells one more major lie you will have to leave? I really hope he can flight straight.
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