[GROUNDPOUNDER]

Hopefully she wasn't just caught in the moment and it was actually more of an epiphany.

"Epiphany"... I know there's a joke in there some where, but I'd be reaching.

 

[Acoa]

Seriously, has anyone else experienced this before?????

My ex rolled over in court and gave me everything I asked for. I wasn't unreasonable, and didn't leave he destitute, but she could have fought for more and made my life hell.

Her lawyer didn't even show up for court as he advised her not to accept my deal. So at our status hearing she accepted to go pro se rather than ask for an extension.

I didn't however take her home after and bone her. (Although she would have loved that) Don't let those bonding chemicals get to your head. There are other ways and other fish in the sea to scratch that itch.

 

[IIJokerII]

My ex rolled over in court and gave me everything I asked for. I wasn't unreasonable, and didn't leave he destitute, but she could have fought for more and made my life hell.

Her lawyer didn't even show up for court as he advised her not to accept my deal. So at our status hearing she accepted to go pro se rather than ask for an extension. .

I am curious Acoa, why did she relent?

 

[Acoa]

I am curious Acoa, why did she relent?

Guilt, shame and in hopes that by submitting I might give her another chance in the future.

It didn't hurt that she wanted the house, but I would have won it in a fight. Accepting my deal was the only way she was walking away with ownership. I still have exclusive use of the home until the youngest graduates, then it's hers.

 

[IIJokerII]

Guilt, shame and in hopes that by submitting I might give her another chance in the future.

It didn't hurt that she wanted the house, but I would have won it in a fight. Accepting my deal was the only way she was walking away with ownership. I still have exclusive use of the home until the youngest graduates, then it's hers.

Do you get any financial benefit from it or......

 

[Pluto2]

Joker, we never went to court. My ex gave me pretty much what I wanted in the separation agreement. I was generous, even my attorney told me I was giving him too much-but I wanted out. However, since then he never passes up an opportunity to tell people how "utterly unreasonable" the agreement was. He likes to be seen as the victim of his own infidelity.

 

[IIJokerII]

He likes to be seen as the victim of his own infidelity.

I am expecting this to be sure. So lets throw this out there to see what others think, since my mind can and does work a mile a minute.

She has almost no money and bills that have to get paid, vehicle taxes, reregistration, storage shed, and many others, yet she cannot even begin to do so.

She hasn't, supposedly, asked her mother to live at her house yet and states she already was told her mother did not want her to stay there nor wished to get involved. So even though she supposedly has no solid place to stay she still submitted to the exclusive use of the house motion.

She waived any push for spousal support, for now anyway, so no income will be received from me.

If she does live with her mother the back and forth traveling to her job will wear on her financially, van with 200k miles eats lots of gas. She plans on staying at her current place of employ vs getting a transfer.

She only wants some marital property for now, namely just one of the TV's and a few other minor things but nothing of real impact.

Now, all of this was from her actions and inactions regarding many years, and this one especially, but she seems so unwilling to acknowledge what appears to be illogical decision process. She will leave a stable, secure home from an obvious proven partner, her children, and such for a lifestyle of uncertainty. Is this her way of cutting all ties before she rides off into the sunset with her Cali or Ohio online AP, as a way of saying sorry for the damage, sorry for the everything..... And then presto. Maybe this is also her rationale for wanting to still live together during the holidays as well.

What should I make of this?

 

[Blossom Leigh]

I say ... let time reveal the answer

 

[turnera]

Just sounds like a person who's never had to deal with consequences and thus doesn't realize what they look like. It'll be her growth period.

 

[IIJokerII]

Just sounds like a person who's never had to deal with consequences and thus doesn't realize what they look like. It'll be her growth period.

Interesting point, I never thought of that.

 

[Suspecting2014]

I am expecting this to be sure. So lets throw this out there to see what others think, since my mind can and does work a mile a minute.

She has almost no money and bills that have to get paid, vehicle taxes, reregistration, storage shed, and many others, yet she cannot even begin to do so.

She hasn't, supposedly, asked her mother to live at her house yet and states she already was told her mother did not want her to stay there nor wished to get involved. So even though she supposedly has no solid place to stay she still submitted to the exclusive use of the house motion.

She waived any push for spousal support, for now anyway, so no income will be received from me.

If she does live with her mother the back and forth traveling to her job will wear on her financially, van with 200k miles eats lots of gas. She plans on staying at her current place of employ vs getting a transfer.

She only wants some marital property for now, namely just one of the TV's and a few other minor things but nothing of real impact.

Now, all of this was from her actions and inactions regarding many years, and this one especially, but she seems so unwilling to acknowledge what appears to be illogical decision process. She will leave a stable, secure home from an obvious proven partner, her children, and such for a lifestyle of uncertainty. Is this her way of cutting all ties before she rides off into the sunset with her Cali or Ohio online AP, as a way of saying sorry for the damage, sorry for the everything..... And then presto. Maybe this is also her rationale for wanting to still live together during the holidays as well.

What should I make of this?

This is not your business anymore, is her call, was her choice.

Focus on your kids, they must be at this point your main duty, they dont deserve you have another try with her...

Rebuild your life, move on and wont turn back.

She needs fall harder to realize what she lost and what she wants. I belive she will run from this reality and after realizing what happened she will break down.

She is not your responsability any more.

 

[michzz]

Please tell me you are still going through with the divorce and that you won't have sex with her anymore.

You do realize that that is her ultimate weapon against you, right?

And get tested for STDs since you did that.

Did I mention that you must finalize this divorce?!!

 

[Pluto2]

Please tell me you are still going through with the divorce and that you won't have sex with her anymore.

You do realize that that is her ultimate weapon against you, right?

And get tested for STDs since you did that.

Did I mention that you must finalize this divorce?!!

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

[Blossom Leigh]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say she really feels to me like she needs an in house treatment program for codependence. She is lost and even is starting to see just how lost she is. She needs help. And she needs to help herself to professional services.

Something along this level...
http://www.thebridgetorecovery.com/codependency-treatment.html?gclid=CIq9laaQjMICFYcCaQodxiIA1Q

 

[GROUNDPOUNDER]

And then after a few comments about our sex life we both became aroused and came home and had sex!!!! Call it weak or whatever but god I needed to get laid, I couldn't fight the damn feeling. Stupid hysterical bonding. She wants to stay for the Holidays but knows that I expect full effort for Domestic Duties, financial support for certain common use things and full disconnection.

And lastly but not least. I couldn't have done it without you all, No need to name names, you all had a helping hand in it. But I will keep on the offensive, collect information, strategic VAR placement......... Cuz you just never know, one way or another, it ain't over til it's over!!

There could be more than on reason why she did this(we know why you did it ).

Some reasons more self serving, but there is the chance that she found herself standing at the precipice. Looking down at the unknown she was about to hurl herself into. Turned back around to see you standing on familiar and solid ground. She then decided, or realized what she'd be loosing, what she had already lost, was not worth that leap.

Let's face it, as much as we like to harp on WS's, many of them were/are still in some form of love with the BS's. Regardless of what she has, or hasn't done, I'm pretty sure that she still loves you. I know that you still love her. If you're careful, the worst that is going to happen is one of you decides that it isn't working and you break up anyway.

You know the drill. Monitor to verify that she is indeed truly interested in being with you, for the right reason. Love.

I really, really, really do hope that this works does work out. She earns her way back and that you two only get to, then eventually have a better relationship than you'd ever had before.

Hope for the best while always being ready for the worst.

Did I mention that I hope this works out?...

 

[BrockLanders]

Please tell me you are still going through with the divorce and that you won't have sex with her anymore.

You do realize that that is her ultimate weapon against you, right?

And get tested for STDs since you did that.

Did I mention that you must finalize this divorce?!!

I doubt it was any sort of trap. She sees him fully in control and it's attractive to her.

But dear lord, I hope you wore a condom. Can you imagine the mess of her getting pregnant?

 

[IIJokerII]

I doubt it was any sort of trap. She sees him fully in control and it's attractive to her.

But dear lord, I hope you wore a condom. Can you imagine the mess of her getting pregnant?

I think so as well, but I also believe she is having a hard time letting go as well. As for Protection, all good there. I wish I had the patience to detail our conversation, lot to deduce from it. But regardless, in short, my way or the hard way. A year of planning this and preparing did pay off though.

 

[G.J.]

I think so as well, but I also believe she is having a hard time letting go as well. As for Protection, all good there. I wish I had the patience to detail our conversation, lot to deduce from it. But regardless, in short, my way or the hard way. A year of planning this and preparing did pay off though.

:smthumbup:

 

[Acoa]

Do you get any financial benefit from it or......

Yup, much lower alimony, for only 3 years (state law would give her 23) and it terminates if she starts earning over a certain amount. And that bar is low enough there is a good chance she will hit that before the 3 years expire.

 

[IIJokerII]

Yup, much lower alimony, for only 3 years (state law would give her 23) and it terminates if she starts earning over a certain amount. And that bar is low enough there is a good chance she will hit that before the 3 years expire.

Man, what the hell did you have on her?