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Things were on the steamy side while we were dating, but we waited until we were married to actually have sex. I started taking the pill then and have ever since (1 year).
Sex is painful. Not very painful, but I quickly realized just painful enough to not be able to enjoy it very often. Aside from that, I also can't seem to get properly aroused by anything, and I don't think that's caused by the pain issues. At the very beginning I thought there was just some lack of emotional connection, and that it hurt because I wasn't aroused because we weren't connecting the right way (ie how we were when we were dating - incidentally pre-pill). Then I started trying to get it over with and thinking I'd figure out how to fix it later. And then realized that was stupid, because when was later? So I started talking about how it hurt and what things I didn't like, and of course he's super patient about it so one major success with us is that I turned around and stopped associating pain and bad feelings with sex. But it still usually hurts anyway.
The lack of arousal thing - my love finally told me he thinks we lack passion, which I knew, but I thought I was making him happy anyway and didn't want to bring it up because I was afraid he would think it was insulting. I don't know what to do about this. There was plenty of passion involved when we were dating. And I thought about sex a LOT. I'm not the stereotypical low sex drive female, so I was NOT expecting to be the stereotypical less-than-pleasing wife. It's frustrating to tears. What caused this to change? I used to be plenty arousable. I feel like blaming the pill, again! But that does seem a little too convenient, too easy a solution. Also we disagree about the likelihood that it's really the cause, and there's no way I'm going to alter the risk of unexpected children coming along without his full support, so it looks like I won't be quitting the pill unless a doctor suggests it or something.
So, can either of these things, pain and lack of arousal, have anything to do with the pill? I've heard conflicting arguments about it.
And either way, what else can I do about it?? While arousal is an issue, I definitely WANT sex. And then when we start I always frustrate my husband by never being really ready for it because I'm not very arousable, and I end up being boring and frustrating and often experiencing discomfort or pain. Sometimes it's an incredible experience anyway, but very difficult and I have a feeling it could be a lot better.
And what could be actually causing the pain?? I found a description of vulvar vestibulitis, but I wonder if I'm just paranoid. I even read that it is more common in women that take the pill.
Augh. Adviiiice pleeeease.
Sex is painful. Not very painful, but I quickly realized just painful enough to not be able to enjoy it very often. Aside from that, I also can't seem to get properly aroused by anything, and I don't think that's caused by the pain issues. At the very beginning I thought there was just some lack of emotional connection, and that it hurt because I wasn't aroused because we weren't connecting the right way (ie how we were when we were dating - incidentally pre-pill). Then I started trying to get it over with and thinking I'd figure out how to fix it later. And then realized that was stupid, because when was later? So I started talking about how it hurt and what things I didn't like, and of course he's super patient about it so one major success with us is that I turned around and stopped associating pain and bad feelings with sex. But it still usually hurts anyway.
The lack of arousal thing - my love finally told me he thinks we lack passion, which I knew, but I thought I was making him happy anyway and didn't want to bring it up because I was afraid he would think it was insulting. I don't know what to do about this. There was plenty of passion involved when we were dating. And I thought about sex a LOT. I'm not the stereotypical low sex drive female, so I was NOT expecting to be the stereotypical less-than-pleasing wife. It's frustrating to tears. What caused this to change? I used to be plenty arousable. I feel like blaming the pill, again! But that does seem a little too convenient, too easy a solution. Also we disagree about the likelihood that it's really the cause, and there's no way I'm going to alter the risk of unexpected children coming along without his full support, so it looks like I won't be quitting the pill unless a doctor suggests it or something.
So, can either of these things, pain and lack of arousal, have anything to do with the pill? I've heard conflicting arguments about it.
And either way, what else can I do about it?? While arousal is an issue, I definitely WANT sex. And then when we start I always frustrate my husband by never being really ready for it because I'm not very arousable, and I end up being boring and frustrating and often experiencing discomfort or pain. Sometimes it's an incredible experience anyway, but very difficult and I have a feeling it could be a lot better.
And what could be actually causing the pain?? I found a description of vulvar vestibulitis, but I wonder if I'm just paranoid. I even read that it is more common in women that take the pill.
Augh. Adviiiice pleeeease.