Joined
·
194 Posts
I am married with no kids to my first and only boyfriend.
When I went through emotional and some physical abuse in my marriage, I met a man.
Long story short – I fell for him terribly.
Soon, after he started talk to me, he said he cannot really have sex because of his health issues. I did not care about being physical, I just felt connection between us and liked attention my H did not give me.
Later on, we kissed, hugged. I know, selfish and no excuse for that.
We met couple times before he moved to another country. Before that, we actually had one misunderstanding and he said we will never be more...
But we stayed in touch even though I did not hope to see him ever again.
After very long time, he came to visit his old town and wanted to meet me. Suddenly, he wanted to be more than friends. We became intimate as much as you can with man with ED, where no pill can help. Then he left.
Next year- same scenario.
Push – pull game while I was in love with him and he was away.
When we talked online, he always asks me how I am, how my life is. We chat for hours. I can tell he cares but I am not sure if he cares enough.
He asks about my marriage lately, says to save money so I would be able to move out.
He did not talk like this before.
I know this is very bad and unfair to everybody and yet, I cannot give up.
Somewhere, deep in me, I know this has no future or at least not good one. He is almost 15 years older, twice divorced and met his ex same way as he met me.
I am also sure he had affair with more than one married woman before.
He has diabetes and all kinds of complications because of that. I feel bad for him because I know how sick he is. I worry about him a lot...He is mad because of ED but he is too young to give up on his life.
Someone once told me that I would be more of caregiver than girlfriend to him because of his disease. I am still young, I do want kids one day.
Now, when I think about it, I do not get what he wants. If it was about sex only, why would he bother for once a year if he can have it often in his country and keep in touch for rest of the year when we are apart?
I know he has nobody there.
I know I should get divorce or work on my marriage. I feel like I should ask who I am for him and get straight answer.
I am going to see marriage counselor next week but I am afraid that nothing will work if I wonder about that other man and keeping him in my heart. I am very confused. My husband and I had problems long before I met him and it is not helping now. Maybe I hoped it would give me strength to leave. IDK. But, without looking on how wrong it is, would you see any future for him and me???
When I went through emotional and some physical abuse in my marriage, I met a man.
Long story short – I fell for him terribly.
Soon, after he started talk to me, he said he cannot really have sex because of his health issues. I did not care about being physical, I just felt connection between us and liked attention my H did not give me.
Later on, we kissed, hugged. I know, selfish and no excuse for that.
We met couple times before he moved to another country. Before that, we actually had one misunderstanding and he said we will never be more...
But we stayed in touch even though I did not hope to see him ever again.
After very long time, he came to visit his old town and wanted to meet me. Suddenly, he wanted to be more than friends. We became intimate as much as you can with man with ED, where no pill can help. Then he left.
Next year- same scenario.
Push – pull game while I was in love with him and he was away.
When we talked online, he always asks me how I am, how my life is. We chat for hours. I can tell he cares but I am not sure if he cares enough.
He asks about my marriage lately, says to save money so I would be able to move out.
He did not talk like this before.
I know this is very bad and unfair to everybody and yet, I cannot give up.
Somewhere, deep in me, I know this has no future or at least not good one. He is almost 15 years older, twice divorced and met his ex same way as he met me.
I am also sure he had affair with more than one married woman before.
He has diabetes and all kinds of complications because of that. I feel bad for him because I know how sick he is. I worry about him a lot...He is mad because of ED but he is too young to give up on his life.
Someone once told me that I would be more of caregiver than girlfriend to him because of his disease. I am still young, I do want kids one day.
Now, when I think about it, I do not get what he wants. If it was about sex only, why would he bother for once a year if he can have it often in his country and keep in touch for rest of the year when we are apart?
I know he has nobody there.
I know I should get divorce or work on my marriage. I feel like I should ask who I am for him and get straight answer.
I am going to see marriage counselor next week but I am afraid that nothing will work if I wonder about that other man and keeping him in my heart. I am very confused. My husband and I had problems long before I met him and it is not helping now. Maybe I hoped it would give me strength to leave. IDK. But, without looking on how wrong it is, would you see any future for him and me???