Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,082 Posts
By government standards I am overweight. 6'1 195 pounds. I don't look or feel over weight.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
561 Posts
I think the by-product of becoming (or being) overweight can be a serious issue. I'm not talking about whether or not you find that person attractive but when someone gains weight or are overweight they are likely to change emotionally. They can get depressed, they start lacking self esteem, etc. This can take a serious toll on a marriage. Or maybe the person gaining weight just doesn't care. That in and of itself can be troublesome because they may keep gaining and we all know the health risks that come with that. If we love our spouse or significant other we want them around for a long time and if they don't want to better themselves health wise that can lead to resentments.

And yes, I'm sure that losing physical attractiveness can wreak havoc as well.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
459 Posts
You know you coulda put a little more effort into that post.

Heck yeah being overweight in a marriage affects things. Whether people admit it or not we're visual creatures and being overweight conceals our natural physiques which attract us to one another. You'll hear people blame their obesity on everything but themselves, but the truth is that we have a responsibility to ourselves and our spouses to stay in shape and maintain our attractiveness. Barring unique situations, if we let ourselves go and partner is no longer attracted to us then its our own fault and we have to accept the responsibility for that. Expecting to have the right to eat as much as we desire without accepting the responsibility for that choice is wrong on so many levels.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
293 Posts
If we respect ourselves, our marraige, our vows, the other person, then we will do all we can to stay fit and attractive. It's about self respect and respect for the union. And like IrishGirlVa said, there are significant health issues that come with being overweight. A man needs that visual input to get aroused, to connect emotionally, physically.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
54 Posts
Yes - causes problems. To gain weight does so much emotionally. Women are very self-conscious on this. Cannot speak for men. But for me - What if, you no longer feel attractive? Don't feel sexy? Sex drive go down? Oh, yeah. "Oooh baby, look at me... I am a ... blob." Not so sexy. Self-esteem goes way down. What does THAT do to your marriage? Well, of course, hurts the relationship. H will want to have sex. W will not. Myself, I LOVE having sex. SO, this really messes things up. PLUS, you have the daily stress of literally cannot find anything to wear. As in, no longer have anything to fit. At all. Couple that with financial issues of, cannot buy anything new, you have brewed some trouble. Plus all the emotional damage it does. And, of course, could cause health problems. Then, the stress can actually cause more weight gain. This type of stress on the relationship can be very damaging. I know its probably different in everybody. But, thats my experience on it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,408 Posts
By government standards I am overweight. 6'1 195 pounds. I don't look or feel over weight.
Posted via Mobile Device
Weight is always an issue....I mean if someone was skinny and became obese then thats one thing. I guess its about perspective.

Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,578 Posts
It's a reflection of respect, for one's self and their partner, except when it's a result from a medical condition

It's easy to become overweight, especially when you hit middle age and become less active. I have been there and so has my wife. We both know it has health consequences and we have made an effort to reduce the weight by working out and eating right. Doing this has had a good impact on self-esteem alone.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
637 Posts
When you meet a person who you decide to spend a lifetime with, the decision is made with respect to every aspect. That is, personallity, appearence etc.

When physical changes take place that are no longer who we married. Yes it matters.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
855 Posts
Yes. I feel I have a responsibility to remain attractive for my spouse. I feel I have a responsibility to remain someone my spouse is proud to be seen with. I feel I have a responsibility not to let unnecessary health issues impact my marriage. I want to feel good about myself. Overweight people, regardless of how often Oprah and Mrs. Obama tell them how wonderful they are, usually don't feel good about being fat and low self-esteem is not attractive in a spouse. My spouse shouldn't have to use her time and energy trying to make me feel good because I'm too weak to drive past a McDonald's. And if you're overweight, it is likely a symptom of unaddressed emotional issues that are also weighing on your marriage.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
47 Posts
I think it depends on the situation. If you married and he/she was not overweight then during the course of the marriage became over weight it could be a problem health wise but also to the level of attraction for the other mate.

Its funny but I have friends who fear gaining weight but I have a differrent situation all together. My husband likes a little extra meat and sometimes we argue when he sees I am hitting the gym to much or dieting he even sometimes trys to sabbotage my attempts to lose weight he jokingly says hey you was nice and juicy when we got married and getting skinny on me is a deal breaker. Of course I know he would not leave over weight loss I sometimes wonder if it will diminish his desire for me because I am no longer his body preference.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,343 Posts
I have to admit, that becoming overweight happened to me very quickly, at least it seemed like one day I just looked down and I was fat. I weighed around 200 (still 20lbs too heavy) when I got married 2 years ago and 3 weeks ago when I climbed on the scale it said 251! I kinda freaked. My wife has never said anything about it, until the other day after giving me head, she said she could tell I was losing weight because she could see my face again. lol. I have since lost 16lbs and am committed to getting back down to 180!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,885 Posts
Hi everyone! Today's topic is overweight.
What you think about overweight?
Is this a hurdle in marriage or not.?
Waiting for your replies.
Of course it's an issue. We can't pretend that the body doesn't exist once marriage blooms.

If one or both spouses are not attractive to the other, there will be conflict and frustration. However...it is not acceptable for an unhappy spouse to denigrate a partner for his/her weight and it is not a legitimate excuse for cheating and it is not a good idea to expect you spouse to look like magazine ads forever. People should be realistic and fair, too.

One's spouse is not an object whose sexual appeal validates one's success in life to onlookers. Those who want trophy wives or trophy husbands are probably not looking for real relationships. In truth, a good relationship makes many flaws seem less important, so the way people handle conflicts about attractiveness that come from weight issues also highlight problems with intimacy and honesty and emotional fulfillment on the part of one or both spouses.

Of course, how overweight the person is makes a difference in this conversation, as does how the overweight spouse feels about his/her body.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,969 Posts
Hi everyone! Today's topic is overweight.
What you think about overweight?
Is this a hurdle in marriage or not.?
Waiting for your replies.
To me, being overweight is an issue because it shows how much you care for your own body and health. Being healthy is important and I want my husband to be around, with me, for many decades to come. If he stopped taking care of his body, it would definitely cause problems in our marriage. In many marriages, being overweight can wreck havoc. Not only does being overweight effect self-esteem, but it also has a number of health issues that are involved(high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, heart disease, etc.).
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top