I have an awesome husband, and I do not think he's cheating or ever would. But he has befriended a woman (we'll call her Rachel) who is in love with his friend (Tom) so he became the middle man for them because Tom is unhappily married and fell into feelings and an affair w Rachel. Well, my husband and Rachel text for hours about Tom. And sometimes talk. But she thinks of him as her "priest" because he knows their story and he's the only one she can talk to. I asked my husband not to be their liason, but he says I'm being distrustful and overreacting even though he understands it's not a conventional sitiuation and he's not exactly condoning it. But he said he'd stop. Then a month and a half later and 4 times telling me they haven't text more than a few words, I saw on the cell bill that they text almost everyday and an average of 3 hrs to 6 hrs in a day adding up to over 3000 texts since I asked him to stop. He said he just didn't see the big deal and didn't tell me cause he knew I'd get mad over something that isn't a big deal. I called her and she said they hadn't text either, then I told her I know they have she was apologetic and it was her alcoholic paranoia (recovered) and having to lie for so long for Tom. So I tried to get over it and be her friend too, now I find out that they are talking about me, positive things, but also personal things. I had been drinking heavily and tossed the idea of AA around, but didn't feel it was a fit and am working on myself. And my husband and her are talking about me. It wasn't a whole lot, but it hurt my feelings. Like, he text her that I seemed happy and hadn't hardly drank, and she said "don't be naive, alcohol is a symptom" and a few ok things. It's not that I think they are talking badly, I just feel left out?? Or, jealous like they are forming this bond, he confides in her and she him. I often feel like I don't get much time with him, and he's talking more w her and being her "priest". I don't feel like he wants to be an ear for me. I feel sad and depressed fighting about it with him, he doesn't apologize really, and has the attitude like "you need to trust me" or, "don't tell me who my friends are". He's kind of understanding, but goes on being her buddy/priest. What do I do? What boundaries are acceptable to input?