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hi, i really need some advice this is the promblem, my husband of 13years and i hardly have sex, i mean i go months then i beg him, and when we do i do all the work he doesnt even touch me or very little. then the other day i saw porn sites on the comptuer and he said the computer was playing up and they were pop up sites. he did google those sites though to see if there was a way to stop the pop ups. and then we were having a heart to heart and he said he masturbated every 2 weeks and when i said but he cant make love to me for months he replied he doesnt keep track it could be months before he masturbates. he has never given me any reason not to belive him before he is great in every other way am i over reacting? or is the truth staring me in the face. he makes me feel awful for wanting sex he acts like im a sex crazed lunatic? help need advice???
 

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I hate to be blunt but what do you look like and what does he look like physically? Masturbating and using porn to me is no big deal. I know a lot of women freak out over it but I don't think its that big of a deal.

Is he out of shape? Maybe he's embarassed about the way he looks and the fantasy gives an easy out. Are you out of shape? Maybe you don't turn him on the way you used to and so you need to approach it differently.
 

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I don't think porn is okay. Not only do I object to it morally, but all the of the scientific research done says that it's harmful to normal sexual behavior between spouses. I would talk with your spouse about getting rid of the porn and letting you take care of his needs instead of masturbating.

If he's not attracted to you it could be that the two of you need to talk about what turns you on. Have you ever done that? Just talking about it for most men gets them aroused enough to have sex.

Let him know how you feel and ask him to tell you what he would like.
 

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I think that your hubby needs to see his doctor for a thorough check-up. You didn't state your ages but it doesn't sound like he is all that old. He could be entering the "male menopause" (google that and you'll get all kinds of info) ; he could have some kind of medical condition that needs looking after; he could have some emotional issues that a counselor could help him with. You sound like a caring wife, and I'm sorry for what you are going through. I would bring up the idea of seeing the doctor in a non-confrontational way to your hubby; you could even say that both of you need to go to the doc about this problem. I wish you guys lots of luck.
 

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Andropause (Androgen Deficiency in the Aging Male) or male metopause can be an issue, however it sounds like the to little to late mentality. Chances are at one time or another he felt hurt from rejection and turned to self pleasure. Not that it is healthier or better then a partner. Communicate with him that the past is the past and you want to fix the future.

draconis
 
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