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So my fiance and I both took this test. We actually took hers together and plan to do mine together as well. I am VERY certain doing to together did not change anything.

I scored a 12 on physical touch, 8 on words of affirmation.

She scored a 10 on words of affirmation, and 8 on physical touch.

We both scored 0 on gifts and low on the others. What I am trying to learn now is if this means there is some compatibility or what? What does this mean and how does it change things? I will recommend to ANYONE to take this test together. I think we both learned a lot and I learned that my fiance "otherwise" is supposedly a very physical person but not as much as me. I also learned that she really needs to hear that she is doing a great job.

I am just not sure how we move forward now.
 

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It would seem to me that this indicates good compatiblity, just my opinion. So now you each need to make an effort to meet the needs of the other based on how you scored. She should make an effort to reach out physically to you now that she knows this is your language. Small touches like holding hands, rubbing your back, random kisses, etc...And you should make the effort to acknowledge her verbally since you have been made aware this is what is most important to her. Tell her she looks nice, give kudos on something she accomplished at her job, or that the house looks awesome when she cleans, etc...
 

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Just because your love languages are different does not mean there is a problem. The important thing is to understand what tells your spouse that they are loved. My wife and I are very different. Mine is physical touch, her's is quality time. As long as I speak to her in her language she speaks to me in mine. We understand the concept.
 

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The love languages are very broad categories. Even if you have the same primary languages, you still have to figure out what within that is important to your partner. For example, what words of affirmation do you each need to hear? That she's a great mom, that she's still crazy about you after all these years, proud of accomplishments at work or what? Does physical touch mean holding hands at the mall, sitting and cuddling when you're one the couch or sex 5 nights a week?

It's a starting point, that's all...
 

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CO, THIS IS WHY I FOUND DOING THIS TOGETHER WAS SO HELPFUL!!

I am not yelling at you, just that you are so right. Those numbers really did not mean ****, but when we were able to analyze EACH question and hear her say how that might be worded differently and why she selects each one, I found it hugely enlightening. I NEVER knew she wanted to hold hands because I do to but because she has made fun of PDA so many times, I don't try that.

We have a H U G E communication problem so working VERY hard to repair this. I also never knew how bad she needed to hear she was doing a great job.
 

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Amp,
Good points.

I would add that my W loves physical touch and is totally in synch with me on non sexual touch. As for sexual touch, she is in synch with me because she wants to be a good partner.

The love language author did a politically correct set of categories.

He blended down the importance of sex by combining it with non sexual touch. This allows couples the polite fiction of believing they are more in synch than they are.

On a 10 point scale I believe my wife would give affection an 8+ and sex a 1.
This is where love and commitment come into play, or if not this is where fractures appear.
 
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