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Hello everyone,

Before 1year our friend Ellyn told us for a good job in middle east.Well it was a really well paid job for my husband and ellyn and we decided to go.We were 2 new couples and we decided to go.I had emotions and was very exited about my husband opportunity.
With Ellyn we have friendship from 8 years.He was the best university friend of my husband. He is a good boy but non self cofidence.Her wife(actually second wife,we knew her about 1 year ago)he fianced her imedialty when he seperated befor the wedding.It was very fast thing that I was not ok with thi,but we respected his decision).
We opened her our friendship door and she behaves as se respected this thing.
First we lived together in a big house becouse (we,the girls, were in a new country and we wanted to stay together just for the beginig.we stayed 3 months together) I loved the period that I lived there,it was as a new life for all of us.When our husbands came back work,they were very satisfied watchaing us happy to wait for them,the good meal,coffes etc.She wanted to learn `by eyes` from me but i am a very open person,When she tried to do things as Idid,as said her:bravo,you`re gona be a good wife. Everything looks ok from outside.
My husband and I begun to save money and really I was very quiet ,my husband too. But after 2 months I begun ill and went to hospital for 4 days. I satyed ill in my bad for about a week an I wait from our friend`s wife(they have one yer to cook or to take care of me,but she didn`t.She always stay on skype,fcb etc.And I thouht that`ss not a big problem,maybe she is affraid from the situation and she did not what to do.Anyway,when I came back home, she was on skype and it was almost the time when the men came back from work and she has prepare only fried patatoes for them !!! ok I went to my room and it was exactly as when I left 4 days ago (when I was bad and the ambulance took me).Anyway this is the educatio that her family has give to her and it is not a big problem for me, but in these cases we need to be more human expecially with friends but she didn`t realize this.
From that moment I begun my serious behaviour with her . I really give her opportunities to show herself as she really cares about our friendship or more exacty:eek:r husband`s friendship,our new life, our plans and everything a new couple want.becouse she was new in our friendship cycle and i respected her or better I over-respected her from out friend.A lot of her mistakes i did not take as a base, i talked to many times to her tellin what ellyn and a husband waits from his wife(becouse with my husbeand we have been in love for 10years and)and her talks were :x has y lover,z has had G lover ...etc. I tried ao many times to convert her from a country girl to a well educated woman.
One night as we were going to the kitchen,we heard her shouting to ellyn that she do not stand me,she hates me,she can not live with me,she can not stand my glasses ... :) and a lot of these children things.I was very offended, in that time I wanted to enter in the kichen to say to her:shame on you! but my husband turned back to the room very angry.I stayed and thought:is this right for my husband becouse if I enter and say this,we will not talk to each other any more.so i quit !!!!! turned back to my husband and we decided to get another home just for us. My husband say this to ellyn next day and the reason why:we heard bad things from his wife.
Her behaviour was very interested next days:she always speaks politely and she acted as she waited from me something but I really didnt care becouse she has not been a friend of mine,she is a straighner yet(she always has been so)my behaviour with elly,was the same as in the begening.Ellyn`s wife from that moment talked only to my husband and he talks very little to her.
The day when we have to go,they found a new house and went 1 hour befor eus.in the door,ellyn say us good bye,and she shoud from outside my husband name and sy bye!
I went to the door and called her: you only talked to Ben and not to me???we have lived together for 3 months and you dont even say `bye`?
Ellyn said to her:why you did not talked to her but only to Bill?SHe sad I didnt see her.......
Then in our husbannds company they offerd me a job than offerd her too.we work here but i different places thanks God I dont want to see her witch face.
My problem is to my husband.he is a very polite person and he does not want fights,neither I.HE wants to go out with ellyn and his wife but I said to him:`this is not fair for me,i have stand a lot of stupid thing fom her,she has a black heart,she dont love ellyn,i swear,she only wants to have a better life for herself.If I see her ,i do not speak to her` One week before we sow hem on lunch,and my husband stopped and talked to them...
i dont know why my husband has to put the friendship over the family interests...this makes me so nervous with him...We love each other and he always has a strong relationship with friends but he has to be more adult. ellyn is not as before with me,why my husband has to make as their friendship is strong as always meanwhile I am a part of their friendship????? I have been so nervous with him this week.I really do not know till where he is going with this.
 

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I'm sorry, but this post is very hard to follow. Perhaps English is not your first language.

To summarize, your husband has a male friend name ellyn whom he has known for a long time. You, your husband, Ellyn and his second wife moved overseas, some things happened which changed your opinion of ellyn's wife. The wife isn't that sophisticated and you feel she doesn't do a good job taking care of ellyn. You don't like ellyn's wife for various reasons. You don't want your husband to keep his friendship with ellyn which means you have to socially meet ellyn's wife and you don't want to do that. Is that what happened?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Dear coffe amore,

Thanks for your reply.English is not my first languge and sorry for the mistakses in written.

In general,yes I have changed the opinion for ellyn`s wife. I want to keep this friendship expecially for my husband,I know that he has been so close with ellin for so many years.
But the only thing I dont understand from my husband,is why he wants me to go for coffee with them meanwhile he knows very well the situation.How can you talk to a person who never took care when I was ill,person who talked bad about me,a person who was very jelous for what I have and takled only to my husbad, not to me.Does the coffe taste the same with this kind of friend? I really need an advice.
Ps yes i have to socially meet her,but this is not a problem for me. My husband wants that we,as 2 couples, have to be close and respectfull with each other.
But I think this is a false situation.
I Really need an advice.

Thanks again
 

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You can have a respectful relationship with Ellyns' wife and not cause stress during the time that your husband and Ellyn are together. Both men expect their wives to act like women they are proud of, not children.

Set a good example for Ellyns' wife. Hold your tongue, be polite and kind. You do not have to be close friends with anyone and it will be a good lesson for you to remember to act like a lady around people you don't like.
 

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Thanks a lot lastunicorn
Last night we had a social occasion.and I enjoy it very much.Ellyn and his wife were in front of me and my husband.
They acted as they did not see us but I spoke to them first , politely meanwhile my husband and I were going to the table.
I really spoke and lough a lot with other friends and collagues.I really felt good becouse my husband looked very pleased :) I really enjoy the dinner.
(Ellyn`s wife took a collegue and begun talk with her and lough as 2 teenagers.open fb in mobile phones and begun critisizing people....!and ellyn looked unsatisfied.
I think I show them how a lady should behave and the most important I enjoy the dinner with my husband and friends :)

Regards
 
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