Joined
·
8 Posts
My wife and I have been married for 5 years and have a 4 year old daughter. Once we get married, I focused on my family, balance my work and family, and basically take care of house chores and our daughter myself. My wife, on the other hand, is a very ambition career lady who wants to climb the corporate ladder. Career comes first before the family for her. Distribution of house chores has always been an issue for us, with me getting tired from doing all the works and getting no help or appreciation from her. I tried to have a nice chat with her on this issue first, and when I couldn't get her attention, start to yell at her couple times. She would just take the yelling and leave afterward.
In the beginning of July, when we ready to go to sleep, there was a fairly intimate text message came on her cell phone from a co-worker. I asked her about it, and she said it was just a joke. and I decided to let it go. Couple days later, I found out that she is seriously googling this co-worker, and in one of her emails, she says how special he is in her heart. I was angry and confront her about the email. She said she is sorry and it was just flirting gone to far. Afterward we made up and I told her that I do not tolerate this behavior. She said she understands, but also said that she is starting a business with this co-worker.
But her behavior started to change, she would keep her iphone really close and emailing, texting, and calling outside house. Eventually she said because I don't give her the space she needs, she is falling in love with this co-worker. She then moved upstair while I stayed downstair. We had another fight and I actually went to the OM house and asked him to stop it. Of course, the OM denies everything.
After couple days of fight, I went and talked to her that it is pointless to keep fighting over this OM. I forgive her if she can stop contacting OM. Things seem to be ok for a week, but then she came home one night and says she wants a divorce without giving me a reason why. Looking at her cell phone bill, she talked to the OM for 78min right before coming home. I also found out that she create a gmail account. Looking into her account, there is one email which she says how much she misses him, and how much time she enjoyed spending with him (on the day when we had our heart to heart conversion). I got really angry when I saw the email, took her to the OM house, and expose everything in front of her, the OM, and OM wife. I then took our daughter and lived in my sister's house for awhile. Then one night she called me up and saying she is sorry and wants us back in the house. She didn't blame herself for what has happened, but blaming everything on me for what happened. Trying to save this marriage, I told her that I will make the changes she asked for in order to save my marriage. She complained that I was yelling her all the times, which I have changed now and no longer yelled at her anymore.
For the Labor Day weekend, I took our family on a mini vacation to just relax. But once we came back from vacation, I noticed she starts to grow distant and cold again. She won't let me touch, hold, or kiss her. Couple times when I walk by her, she would quickly close her laptop. I got a little bit suspicious, started to snooped around a bit, and found out she had created a 2nd gmail account. In this email account, she has gone from flirting to openly saying how much she loves him and OM also tells her how much he loves her. (this really hurts me as I thought our marriage was starting to work and she was doing this behind my back) I confronted her about the emails and she got angry at me for reading her emails. Right now, she has moved upstair, won't talk to me, but continues email conversion and phone call with this OM.
I am done with being Mr. Nice Guy and completely ignoring her. I told her that I would file for divorce if she does not cut off communication with this OM and keep all communication open. She came home last night, said she wants a divorce from me. No apology, no remorse, no regret for what she has done. The funny thing is that this OM is married and just had a baby. But my wife says she is willing to wait for this OM getting divorced than being with me.
Right now, I plan to go to the lawyer to start the divorce process, but still have hope that she would turn around. Or is she gone too far to have any chance? She does not really respect me or my need multiple times, is this marriage really worth saving? Should I expose the whole thing to OM wife?
Thanks for reading
In the beginning of July, when we ready to go to sleep, there was a fairly intimate text message came on her cell phone from a co-worker. I asked her about it, and she said it was just a joke. and I decided to let it go. Couple days later, I found out that she is seriously googling this co-worker, and in one of her emails, she says how special he is in her heart. I was angry and confront her about the email. She said she is sorry and it was just flirting gone to far. Afterward we made up and I told her that I do not tolerate this behavior. She said she understands, but also said that she is starting a business with this co-worker.
But her behavior started to change, she would keep her iphone really close and emailing, texting, and calling outside house. Eventually she said because I don't give her the space she needs, she is falling in love with this co-worker. She then moved upstair while I stayed downstair. We had another fight and I actually went to the OM house and asked him to stop it. Of course, the OM denies everything.
After couple days of fight, I went and talked to her that it is pointless to keep fighting over this OM. I forgive her if she can stop contacting OM. Things seem to be ok for a week, but then she came home one night and says she wants a divorce without giving me a reason why. Looking at her cell phone bill, she talked to the OM for 78min right before coming home. I also found out that she create a gmail account. Looking into her account, there is one email which she says how much she misses him, and how much time she enjoyed spending with him (on the day when we had our heart to heart conversion). I got really angry when I saw the email, took her to the OM house, and expose everything in front of her, the OM, and OM wife. I then took our daughter and lived in my sister's house for awhile. Then one night she called me up and saying she is sorry and wants us back in the house. She didn't blame herself for what has happened, but blaming everything on me for what happened. Trying to save this marriage, I told her that I will make the changes she asked for in order to save my marriage. She complained that I was yelling her all the times, which I have changed now and no longer yelled at her anymore.
For the Labor Day weekend, I took our family on a mini vacation to just relax. But once we came back from vacation, I noticed she starts to grow distant and cold again. She won't let me touch, hold, or kiss her. Couple times when I walk by her, she would quickly close her laptop. I got a little bit suspicious, started to snooped around a bit, and found out she had created a 2nd gmail account. In this email account, she has gone from flirting to openly saying how much she loves him and OM also tells her how much he loves her. (this really hurts me as I thought our marriage was starting to work and she was doing this behind my back) I confronted her about the emails and she got angry at me for reading her emails. Right now, she has moved upstair, won't talk to me, but continues email conversion and phone call with this OM.
I am done with being Mr. Nice Guy and completely ignoring her. I told her that I would file for divorce if she does not cut off communication with this OM and keep all communication open. She came home last night, said she wants a divorce from me. No apology, no remorse, no regret for what she has done. The funny thing is that this OM is married and just had a baby. But my wife says she is willing to wait for this OM getting divorced than being with me.
Right now, I plan to go to the lawyer to start the divorce process, but still have hope that she would turn around. Or is she gone too far to have any chance? She does not really respect me or my need multiple times, is this marriage really worth saving? Should I expose the whole thing to OM wife?
Thanks for reading
