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Idontknow
I’m hoping I read this right and that the affair just ended this month. Recovery from infidelity is two to five years, I wish I could tell you it doesn’t take this long, but I’d be lying. I’m a little over four years past d-day, just now believing I’m close to being healed, but the cut is deep and the scar will always remain. First I would advise that you wait at least six months before you make a decision of reconciliation or divorce. I advise to wait so you can get to a position where your decision is based upon strength and not emotion. I chose to reconcile, I determined this to be the best path for ME, not my wife or children. You will also need to make this decision, and it’s hard to make.
In my opinion your husband doesn’t deserve the gift of reconciliation. He may show remorse or regret, but he allowed the OW to tell you. This makes me believe your husband is a very weak person, one who would rather try to save his own ass then face the truth. The OW may be a lot of things, but she at least told you the truth. Maybe she told you to hurt you, but the fact remains she gave the truth when your husband couldn’t. Choosing reconciliation isn’t easy, and you may choose to reconcile, but it will stay in your mind that your husband couldn’t own his decisions. That speaks volumes about his character, I won’t continue to tell you how weak he is.
The road ahead of you is long and arduous, it’s not for the weak, if you choose reconciliation. Your husband is going to have to own his decisions, his actions, and then fix himself in therapy. True remorse will need to set in and he will need new boundaries. You will also need therapy to figure out how to fix yourself, how to become a healthier person. You will both then need to begin marriage counseling, after you’ve become healthier.
If you have any questions I will answer them if you think I can be of help. Best of luck to you.
I’m hoping I read this right and that the affair just ended this month. Recovery from infidelity is two to five years, I wish I could tell you it doesn’t take this long, but I’d be lying. I’m a little over four years past d-day, just now believing I’m close to being healed, but the cut is deep and the scar will always remain. First I would advise that you wait at least six months before you make a decision of reconciliation or divorce. I advise to wait so you can get to a position where your decision is based upon strength and not emotion. I chose to reconcile, I determined this to be the best path for ME, not my wife or children. You will also need to make this decision, and it’s hard to make.
In my opinion your husband doesn’t deserve the gift of reconciliation. He may show remorse or regret, but he allowed the OW to tell you. This makes me believe your husband is a very weak person, one who would rather try to save his own ass then face the truth. The OW may be a lot of things, but she at least told you the truth. Maybe she told you to hurt you, but the fact remains she gave the truth when your husband couldn’t. Choosing reconciliation isn’t easy, and you may choose to reconcile, but it will stay in your mind that your husband couldn’t own his decisions. That speaks volumes about his character, I won’t continue to tell you how weak he is.
The road ahead of you is long and arduous, it’s not for the weak, if you choose reconciliation. Your husband is going to have to own his decisions, his actions, and then fix himself in therapy. True remorse will need to set in and he will need new boundaries. You will also need therapy to figure out how to fix yourself, how to become a healthier person. You will both then need to begin marriage counseling, after you’ve become healthier.
If you have any questions I will answer them if you think I can be of help. Best of luck to you.
