If you feel that he is hiding something still, then you might be right. Listen to your gut. Are you guys in therapy?I do love him. Soooo much. Even though he wronged me, I feel even worse when he cries, or sounds sad when he talks to me. I never want him to be sad. I wish he felt the same way the first time it happened, and thought about me. Instead, it didn’t matter that I was upstairs. Our vows didn’t matter, I didn’t matter. All that mattered was that moment. I know our marriage wasn’t the best at the time, but I didn’t think it was so bad that I deserved to be cheated on. You don’t just cheat on someone you’ve vowed to spend the rest of your life with, when things get tough. You put on your big boy pants, or big girl panties, you sit down with your SO and have a serious conversation about your concerns.
There has been so much sadness in my life since the beginning of this year, yet I generally bounce back because I'm made of tough stuff. I thought I was slowly but surely doing better, but as the days go by, and our 5th year wedding anniversary approaches, all I can feel is despair. I've cried several times today, when I haven't cried for a couple of weeks. March is also his birth month, and part of me wonders if it happened on his birthday. If she gave him birthday sex. Or if it happened on our anniversary. Like, maybe I got stupid drunk celebrating both occasions and passed out so he went elsewhere. Honestly, it’s all possible. He says no, that it didn’t happen on those dates. Then again he doesn’t remember the exact dates. I also, get the feeling he’s hiding something else from me. Something he thinks might compound the hurt. I’ll never know.
Our 5 year anniversary is this Friday..
and it's been a little over a month since I found out that my husband had been cheating on me with the downstairs neighbor for almost two years. Feb. 12 to be exact, three days after I found out that my father had passed away cold and alone. One month after suffering the loss of my younger cousin who was murdered as a result of gang violence.
There has been so much sadness in my life, yet I generally bounce back because I'm made of tough stuff. I thought I was slowly but surely doing better, but as the days go by, and our our 5th year wedding anniversary approaches, all I can feel is despair. I've cried several times today, when I haven't cried for a couple of weeks.
Last year, all I could talk about was doing something amazing with my husband to celebrate our milestone anniversary, like go to Punta Cana or the Bahamas, take a trip together. We were going to travel the country for our one year anniversary, but couldn't because his favorite uncle passed away suddenly, god rest his soul. So I thought we should make up for it now that enough time has passed.He surprisingly agreed (he hates tropical, beachy vacations), and I began planning everything immediately.
Fast forward 5 months and I find out that I am pregnant with our first baby, a baby boy due in April. The plans to take that awesome trip were understandably put on hold being that I could literally give birth any day.
Both of us are looking forward to the arrival of our baby boy, and to be honest, it's the only real thing keeping me happy, and focused on what's truly important. Part of me feels like the world's biggest joke has been played on me. And another part, a larger part of myself, feels that everything happens for a reason, and even though the timing was terrible, that maybe I needed to learn about the infidelity when I did.
There has been so much sadness in my life, yet I generally bounce back because I'm made of tough stuff. I thought I was slowly but surely doing better, but as the days go by, and our our 5th year wedding anniversary approaches, all I can feel is despair. I've cried several times today, when I haven't cried for a couple of weeks.
Last year, all I could talk about was doing something amazing with my husband to celebrate our milestone anniversary, like go to Punta Cana or the Bahamas, take a trip together. We were going to travel the country for our one year anniversary, but couldn't because his favorite uncle passed away suddenly, god rest his soul. So I thought we should make up for it now that enough time has passed.He surprisingly agreed (he hates tropical, beachy vacations), and I began planning everything immediately.
Fast forward 5 months and I find out that I am pregnant with our first baby, a baby boy due in April. The plans to take that awesome trip were understandably put on hold being that I could literally give birth any day.
Both of us are looking forward to the arrival of our baby boy, and to be honest, it's the only real thing keeping me happy, and focused on what's truly important. Part of me feels like the world's biggest joke has been played on me. And another part, a larger part of myself, feels that everything happens for a reason, and even though the timing was terrible, that maybe I needed to learn about the infidelity when I did.
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If you feel that he is hiding something still, then you might be right. Listen to your gut. Are you guys in therapy?
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