Orgasms-Men vs Ladies

Pkwanderer said:

I always wonder that while men's orgasms are pretty straightforward-sort of consistent scientific quality to them than women’s orgasms do, ladies' orgasm's follow a path much more like The Artist’s Way than the scientific method. When observed objectively, women’s orgasm looks very different from men’s orgasm, and it may or may not include a climax. So what happens when we’re following the recipe for “good sex,” and (per usual) it calls for “two climaxes,” and two climaxes are not available?

My question here is, that in a single sexual session, how many orgasms would/can be termed as satisfying for ladies, while men (ahem) can be done with just one?

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Women can, and often do, have satisfying sex regardless of having an orgasm every time.

Each woman is also an individual with different capacities for the number and intensity of orgasms they are capable of so there isn't a magic number that can be applied to them all.

I've had a woman not seem to stop once she started and that session went for a long time into the night.

Another had the most intense, explosive orgasm (squirting) that I've ever even heard of and was totally spent afterwards. She might have been able to get more but I wasn't with her very long.

My wife has always tapped out after 3 but hers are usually pretty intense and take a lot out of her.

I would say all three had satisfying sex with far different numbers and kinds of orgasms.

Mrs. C has also had very satisfying sex with me without even wanting the O.

Just for starters, I think pretty much everyone would benefit from watching the Netflix series "Principles of Pleasure." For people who have the mindset that orgasm is the main goal in sexual pleasure, this series could be helpful in broadening that perspective. Centralizing orgasm puts a great deal of pressure on women to "perform" (have an orgasm) - and misses many of the other pleasurable aspects of sex that women enjoy. Women have a much broader landscape of erogenous experiences - if their partners are willing to explore these with them. Both partners can benefit from this. But I can say also that it's often hurtful when social media posts by men make fun of women who, for instance, want a foot massage or hugs, touches or conversations, leading up to more of a symphony of a sexual encounter. Women know what they want and what pleasures them - but being put down for their approaches ranges from shame to shattering. It can really become inhibiting to a woman if her partner even says things like "you give me a quickie once in awhile and I'll do your massage your feet thing." Like, really? That's such a putdown. I don't know how many times I've heard "It's just that's its so much trouble" - by partners who think that a woman's foreplay requests is talked about among men as being a PITA. However, the cool thing is that some men actually get it figured out - the Don Juan's, so to speak. Because they enjoy the fun and delight of extended foreplay and exploration of pleasuring women in a way that women experience sexual pleasure. This epiphany is a diamond mine of next-level sexuality that is just waiting to be discovered.

And yes, women want to have orgasms - they get there with partners willing to take the road less traveled.

One of the things that the Sex Therapist did was "reintroduce" sensuality and sex into our sex starved marriage.

Don't get me wrong orgasms are great, but there are a lot of great other ways to emotionally bond with a long term partner. Sensate Focus exercises can add a degree of physical trust and sensual pleasure to a relationship. Learning how to consistently find joy in pleasuring your partner without your having an orgasm or without their having an orgasm can be a soul melding experience.

Having your partner make you feel sexually desired through verbal, touch or the clothing they wear can also provide lots of bonding.

Still there is nothing like the endorphines and oxytocin bonding chemicals associated with sex to bound two people into one flesh.

In Schnarch's book Intimacy and Desire, he talks about having to become really vulnerable to your spouse to experience true intimacy. That requires both trust and a real understanding and comfortableness with yourself.

For me climaxing and orgasms are kind of like steps in achieving sexual intimacy. Yes, they feel good and I also enjoy making my partner feel good, but what I really want is emontional bonding and intimacy (and sex is a great way to achieve that in a healthy relationship).