Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 39 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Another concern of mine is when me and my fiance had an active sex life he loved to perform oral sex on me. It was awesome and he did it every time we had sex!

However he didn't let me perform it on him he states it does nothing for him, I would do it to him during a position change and he would go from hard to semi hard fast. I love to perform it I find it to be kinky and a major turn on for myself.

I don't know if it's that im awful at it but my ex-husband Loved when I did it to him I had even gotten him off that way.

Is it normal for men to not be into oral sex or could he just be trying to protect my feelings?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,839 Posts
Not normal for men to consistently refuse oral sex.

Also - not real easy to be "bad" at it unless you aren't being careful with your teeth. But x-H probably would have mentioned that before.

Its probably some kind of issue with him. Any ideas?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Everybody is differnt. I love it when my wife does it to me, which is not very often, but I have never been able to finish that way.

I would not worry about it. Just everyonce in a while give it another try. Over time he might change his mind.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
8,908 Posts
I'm with Troyman... I enjoy receiving oral sex, but it's difficult for me to finish like that. I think part of it is that my pleasure/enjoyment is tied closely to my partners. 18 years of "her first" might have crossed a few wires. :)

I'm hoping to change that, at least to the point that I can fully enjoy a freely given BJ without "demanding" her to have an orgasm as well. My current partner seems to be turned on by the thought of me having an orgasm this way, so who am I to argue? :)

I think someone recommended a book in a recent thread that taught them a lot about giving a BJ. I'm trying to think of how I can slip that into her library to see if it helps at all... She does seem a little anxious about whether she's doing it "right" for me.

C
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,839 Posts
But - unlike PBear and Troy - it sounds like the OPs husband doesn't like it at ALL.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44 Posts
I'm going to say I'm in the vast minority, but I used to never like receiving oral sex. As a guy, that's unheard of. I mean, don't get me wrong, it felt nice, but to this day I've never had an orgasm from oral sex. Ever. Times change and over the course of the last year or so I've developed a real desire for it. But before this year, it wasn't a big deal to me. I certainly didn't DISlike it...it's just that I'd rather have sex. Now if you were to mention anal, that's like the friggin holy grail for me. Let me get the sex life straightened out first and then I'll work on that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,839 Posts
I'm going to say I'm in the vast minority, but I used to never like receiving oral sex. As a guy, that's unheard of. I mean, don't get me wrong, it felt nice, but to this day I've never had an orgasm from oral sex. Ever. Times change and over the course of the last year or so I've developed a real desire for it. But before this year, it wasn't a big deal to me. I certainly didn't DISlike it...it's just that I'd rather have sex.
But would you actually pull away when it was offerred?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
Exactly, Never in my history of dating did a man pull away from that, he says he would just rather have sex, he also isnt into crazy positions like past encounters I have had. Maybe he is just old fashioned?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,839 Posts
Exactly, Never in my history of dating did a man pull away from that, he says he would just rather have sex, he also isnt into crazy positions like past encounters I have had. Maybe he is just old fashioned?
Yes - that could be.

Some people do think oral sex is (literally) dirty.

Have you tried talking to him about it? Telling him that it concerns you?

Just because he isn't "normal" in regards to what most men like doesn't mean that there's something wrong. He could just be different.

Any other signs of performance issues or problems with confidence in bed?

I guess if the sex is good overall, just enjoy it...right?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
130 Posts
Wow! I've never heard of a man not wanting a BJ. When I went down on my wife it was (for me) a way to turn her on so I could get some....I wouldn't want her to give me a BJ b/c it'd be over too soon, I like to wait til she's ready and then get one. I think there's some good advice here for you, good luck!
Mouse
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
8,908 Posts
So this came up today... My partner decided she wanted to give me a BJ today, and I thought of this thread. Told her that that was fine by me, but I might not be able to finish (and it was that time of the month, she was sensitive about that, etc...). She asked why, and I told her about years of conditioning for my partner first, her pleasure being as important or more important than mine...

Her response? "Well, we'll just do once a week blow jobs to get you over that. Just you, not me at all". I think I could really get to like this woman! I think what pushed me over the edge was knowing that she really truly wanted to do that, with no hint of it being about her.

C
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
8,908 Posts
Therapy sessions are going well... :) Although it is hard to let go and not feel guilty about giving back to her...

C
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14 Posts
I've always preferred to lick lady's vagina over having her perform oral on me.

I'm not sure I can explain this preference.

I've had great oral sex -- both giving and receiving -- but my preference is to give.

There's something nice about the smell of a vagina.

Again, don't ask me to explain it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
59 Posts
A man refusing a bj doesn't even compute to me. I can last till my wife O's during intercourse every single time but I can only handle about 1 min of oral. Lol. Everyone is different, I wouldn't worry about him not wanting it unless its something you feel like you need sexually. Good luck to you.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,046 Posts
I could see refusing it. The few times my wife ever attempted I pushed her off. She was terrible at it and wouldn't learn or listen.
 
1 - 20 of 39 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top