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So I posted back in October about how my Wife has no real desire for Sex. Also, The things she has said to me about our love life have been so hurtful that my heart is broken. I am sure many of you know how intimate feelings of love can be crushed with just a few words. So here is what just happened. My wife and I somehow managed to get in bed despite her low libido. Our foreplay is often minimal, and She dislikes my touching her privates with my hand or fingers as she says it's too ticklish. As its so rare that I have a chance to go down on her, which I love to do for her and really enjoy because She tastes so great, I asked for permission. Here's what she said:

"I don't want you to go down on me anymore because your Tongue is so rough and scratchy that it hurts me"

After 20 years of marriage, this came as a shock. My tongue has never been an issue. Now, no tongue, no fingers, just sex in the missionary stle and its over in a few minutes. Now, for the rest of our lives, no more oral. WTF! For sure one of life's pleasures ripped away again without any compassion. Heartbroken again!
 

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So I posted back in October about how my Wife has no real desire for Sex. Also, The things she has said to me about our love life have been so hurtful that my heart is broken. I am sure many of you know how intimate feelings of love can be crushed with jusot a few words. So here is what just happened. My wife and I somehow managed to get in bed despite her low libido. Our foreplay is often minimal, and She dislikes my touching her privates with my hand or fingers as she says it's too ticklish. As its so rare that I have a chance to go down on her, which I love to do for her and really enjoy because She tastes so great, I asked for permission. Here's what she said:

"I don't want you to go down on me anymore because your Tongue is so rough and scratchy that it hurts me"

After 20 years of marriage, this came as a shock. My tongue has never been an issue. Now, no tongue, no fingers, just sex in the missionary stle and its over in a few minutes. Now, for the rest of our lives, no more oral. WTF! For sure one of life's pleasures ripped away again without any compassion. Heartbroken again!
Are you clean shaven?

I think some woman find more pleasure in power than love and sex and the only thing you can do is remove their power over you. It appears some woman then respect their man and want sex and others just fight extra hard to get the power back until they destroy everything.

Some woman seem to struggle to actually be woman, this is part to do with society pushing that woman should strong and not submissive. I think this then seeps into sex as they find this is them being dominated by a man, this in part is true I suppose. Sex can be a submissive thing, hence the trust needed to have sex with someone.

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I can't believe I'm explaining this....

I am wondering if maybe it's a bristley face that's the issue.

Hey maybe he has the tongue of a cat?
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"Honey, your tongue is just too rough...." Total BS my friend. The I'm too ticklish to be touched is an issue too. Too ticklish is in her head. ie, she got issues with her sexuality or the marriage or something.
 

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There are big issues in your marriage that she is not talking about. They are coming out in her refusal to engage in your sex life.

Unless you take a strong stance that the two of you work on the marriage this will end up with you not having a sex life at all.
 

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Im going through the same thing with my wife, it is destroying our marraige as she has no concept on how important these issues are to me. I think her taking an antidepressant has done a lot of damage on her drive. I rulled out other things at least in my mind. Its a shame because other than that we have a good marraige but the things you mentioned are becoming deal breakers for me as I dont want to live the rest of my life deprived either. gl
 

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I will just be blunt,your wife wants it over as quickly as possible,so oral is just adding to her laying there.

Your wife is throwing you crumbs to keep you away for awhile so you will either keep taking that for the rest of your life or you will make a change.
 

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Wives who go non sexual do all sorts of these things. They come up with unsolvable problems... It's totally normal.

You have to go on a journey for the next 6 months.... What you need to do;

-- Figure out what your wife's emotional needs are outside of the bedroom and provide them to her (start here).
-- Teach her what sex means to you as a man in terms of emotional bonding, connecting (currently she thinks you are masturbating in her)
-- Teach her about the concept of marriage involving both parties "giving" and both parties "taking" when it comes to having emotional needs met
-- Offer her a choice as to what kind of wife she wants to be.
 

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Just a shot in the dark, but is there any chance that your wife is masturbating without your knowledge? Maybe that would explain why she's so sensitive down there.
 

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I think it's BS, but here's a few suggestions...

First, do most of your foreplay with her while she is wearing panties or pajamas. Touch her through clothes before and actual touching of genitals. Even make touching genitals through clothes a lot further down the line in foreplay.

Move from "through the clothes" to touching her bare skin, but only with your hand, while still engaging in kissing and other touching.

You can move to oral, but don't dive in from the high board. Start with her thighs, stomach, butt.

The point is to get her aroused enough that her natural lubrication will smooth out any roughness of your tongue.

But... I still think she's BS'ing you.
 

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So I posted back in October about how my Wife has no real desire for Sex. Also, The things she has said to me about our love life have been so hurtful that my heart is broken. I am sure many of you know how intimate feelings of love can be crushed with just a few words. So here is what just happened. My wife and I somehow managed to get in bed despite her low libido. Our foreplay is often minimal, and She dislikes my touching her privates with my hand or fingers as she says it's too ticklish. As its so rare that I have a chance to go down on her, which I love to do for her and really enjoy because She tastes so great, I asked for permission. Here's what she said:

"I don't want you to go down on me anymore because your Tongue is so rough and scratchy that it hurts me"

After 20 years of marriage, this came as a shock. My tongue has never been an issue. Now, no tongue, no fingers, just sex in the missionary stle and its over in a few minutes. Now, for the rest of our lives, no more oral. WTF! For sure one of life's pleasures ripped away again without any compassion. Heartbroken again!
She doesn't want to have sex with you. It has nothing to do with your tongue.

I'd begin checking to see if she's worn out from another lover, unfortunately.
 

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She doesn't want to have sex with you. It has nothing to do with your tongue.

I'd begin checking to see if she's worn out from another lover, unfortunately.
Welllll..... Jaquen, he did learn of an affair 9 years ago.... so it really isn't much of a stretch to think it could be going on now, as well. :(
 
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