Hi, I am new to this and thought that I would give it a try since I haven't talked to anyone about the problems I am having within my marriage. I have been married for a year and a half to who I thought was the love of my life. To give some background info, our story is somewhat of a fairy tale. We were high school sweethearts, after hs I went off to college and he joined the military. He asked me to marry him when we were 18 and I said yes. Shortly after I broke it off and broke his heart. I went on with my life and he with his. I ended up getting pregnant and having my first child two years later. This prompted me to move closer to my parents. In the meantime, I met and married my ex-husband and eventually had my second child. My marriage was awful and ultimately ended in divorce. Through all of this, my hs sweetheart never went more than a year or so without making contact with me and letting me know he still loved me.
So, now I was a single mom with two kids. I put myself through school and had a good job. Once again, my hs sweetheart resurfaced. After 16 years he had waited for me, he loved me so much. He was living on the west coast and I on the east coast, I finally decided that our time was now. I picked up and moved myself and both of my kids across the country to be with him. We got married two days after he came home from his last deployment and have now been married for 1 year and a half.
This amazing, wonderful man that I have known for more than half of my life and who has waited for 16 years for me is someone that I now don't even know. It was like as soon as we got married the chase was over, the effort was gone, and so were his feelings. It has progressively gotten worse and I feel so isolated now. He is no longer attracted to me, I couldn't even tell you the last time he gave me a compliment. Our sex life is damn near non-existent. He puts no effort into me whatsoever. On top of that, he acts like me and my kids ALWAYS bother him. He has no patience with the kids, constantly raising his voice and yelling at them. He gives me absolutely no affection. He never does anything nice or goes out of his way to show me love and attention. He does tell me he loves me every night before bed and every morning when he leaves for work. But the words are so empty...it's just routine. And now, I think I am falling out of love with him. I think about how miserable I am on an almost daily basis. I cry all the time. I have tried talking to him, suggested counseling (he thinks that is a joke)...none of it helps and it never improves anything, not even temporarily.
To top all of this off...I recently found out I am pregnant. Now my emotions are heightened and I feel even MORE isolated, alone, and miserable. In the midst of my emotions, he is the same...if not worse. He is so insensitive and has no compassion for me at all. I work full time, am back in school full-time, have two kids, am pregnant, and try to be a good wife....I never get any recognition or thanks for what I do. I have no family around, and left all my friends when I rearranged my life for him. I still have not made that many friends where we currently live. I am just so unhappy and honestly, I just needed someone to talk to. I can't talk to family or friends because they all think that he is this great, wonderful guy. They see him as I saw him before we got married. I have considered at least getting counseling for myself. Now that I am starting to fall out of love with him I am no longer putting as much effort into him anymore. I want his attention so badly it hurts. Is this marriage worth saving?
Any advise, support, suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
