The problem was there before I did what I did hence why it happened. I have held numerous discussions with her before the “affair” but that didn’t resolve anything.Ouch. This would certainly explain why she is refusing sex.
@PDM31 If the above is true, which I assume that it is and you posted in another thread, then you do not get to use my words in conversation with your wife. You already broke your vows, even in PLANNING an affair, even if it didn't happen, and that means the RULES CHANGE. You need to fix all of this first, regain her trust, before she will willingly take you to bed again.
I'm more than a bit pissed that you didn't give all the info up front, it makes me feel manipulated and lied to.
Of course I shouldn’t haven’t done what I did but and I’ll always regret it but I also what it feels like spending hours each day worrying why your wife isn’t as receptive as she was used to be. And the thought of leaving your kids with single parents wasn’t something I was prepared to do.
We are back together now and things were really good for the first few months but slowly but surely they’re going back to like they were a couple of years ago.
It doesn’t mean the initial question is invalid. And your reply in my opinion is spot on. I was left with two choices, cheat or separate at the time and I chose the wrong one. It was selfish what I did, but it was also unselfish because I don’t and still don’t want to divorce my wife over this and have to not see the kids every day.
i want to work on it. If this issue was happening for the first time after what I did I’d say that was the reason why. It’s not, it’s been a long standing issue.