Talk About Marriage banner
1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
664 Posts
Wow, another man that just doesn't get it. Here we have a young lady practically begging for good sex and her hubby's ego and selfishness denies what is rightfully hers.

If the lady I loved was eager for sex, there is nothing I would not do for her.

@Flowersandsand... You should keep talking to him, but don't wait too long to end the relationship if he doesn't pull himself out of this lazy ass sexual selfishness. You deserve to have a man that wants you to be sexually satisfied.

I waited too long to find a woman that I would be more sexually compatible with, and now, I'm old, sad, and full of regrets!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
664 Posts
You're probably right, but it's more complex than that. We share a house and a life. We've accomplished things and look forward to a future together. Aside from the devastation of losing a husband, the us economy is terrible, one of us would be homeless.
Are you with someone more compatible now? For how long? There will always be problems in marriage, a successful marriage is being able to work through them without running away. He knows I had plans to leave before, I made it obvious I was looking for a rental. It sparked his first attempt at a yoni massage. I am still hopeful
Sadly, I'm not yet with someone more compatible. I am working on it though. Thanks for asking.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
664 Posts
My savings are slim these days, had several surprise emergencies. Plus I don't like to go with the cheapest options. I guess it's not the end of the world to do just one session per month for now. Do you like therapy/do you think it has helped?
Therapy is NOT magic that solves everything. A good therapist will be able to focus on what's troubling you most and get you to talk about it so that the bad feelings are less intense.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
664 Posts
He needs to go to a therapist and understand the difference between fantasy and reality.
I agree, and he needs to find out why his sex drive has to come from porn? There is something not right with him needing porn to want sex with his young and beautiful wife. I'd be insulted if the woman I loved needed porn to want sex with me.

My HD would only be magnified by having a sexy and willing young lady by my side.

Maybe he needs his testosterone levels checked.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
664 Posts
It's a sad fact that while most guys love a BJ and if all else fails, you can always depend on that, with women, each one has different hot buttons and desired intensity, so it's just more complex. I think he thinks they're all supposed to be responsive acting like in porn videos where doing what HE likes gets THEM off. Just not reality. He either doesn't get it or doesn't want to get it.
The hot buttons are there to be found very easily on any woman. It just takes patience and the willingness to explore her body till you find them all.

He can't just project what he sees on porn (that is staged) onto his wife.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
664 Posts
What previous sex partners has he had? I am assuming that at his age he was with other women before you. Surely someone taught him how to romance a woman, foreplay is the name of the game. Was the first six months of amazing sex after you married or the first six months after you got together? Like you were in the "new relationship" phase and didnt mind his hamfisted attempts. Did he just recently become clueless or did you tolerate it for 5 years for other reasons and it is just now becoming too much to take?

Get the very old book "Joy of Sex", and read it together. Get him the book "She Comes First" and have him read that. At his age he shouldn't need to read anything, he ought to be rocking your world. But maybe he is a really sloooow learner.


No it isnt selfish.

I don't know how to get through his thick skull that he better get with the program or he will be watching his damn porn alone instead of enjoying a real woman's charms. Something lacking in his upbringing and life experience to be butt hurt when a woman who wants to be with him tells him straight up to "do this" and "don't do that". Many women don't have the courage to communicate that openly, and end up just divorcing or finding a lover on the side to meet their needs.
Wow, the "Joy of Sex" book. I think there's one of those hidden somewhere around my house. Lolol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
664 Posts
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top