It's probably because when we try to tone them down our guys look harder for them and then notice them more
One question for the men, and another for the women
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I had to give your question some thought. I think the reason the looks of the man looking at me affects how I feel is this...
When a man looks at me with sexual interest, it makes me think of him in a sexual way. I know in his mind he's thinking something along the lines of, "Wow! I'd like to get some of that!" And if laws and social customs didn't interfere, he might try. So if the man is old enough to remind me of my father or young enough to be my son, I'm going to feel a little creeped out. And if he's hideous, my mind is also going to want to run away from thinking about him wanting my body that way. Maybe I think too much.
You're probably right about the feeling of vulnerability being part of it. But I'm not sexist. I wouldn't blame any man for having similar feelings when getting ogled by a woman who's far removed from his "type."
And pretty much every time I've ever been bothered, it's because the man also fell into the "creepy" category and was staring intently, making no effort to hide it (kind of like a wolf staring at a rabbit).
I hope I cleared up my politically incorrect statement and didn't offend anyone.
Thanks! That was very insightful and well thought out and it really helps me understand.I had to give your question some thought. I think the reason the looks of the man looking at me affects how I feel is this...
When a man looks at me with sexual interest, it makes me think of him in a sexual way. I know in his mind he's thinking something along the lines of, "Wow! I'd like to get some of that!" And if laws and social customs didn't interfere, he might try. So if the man is old enough to remind me of my father or young enough to be my son, I'm going to feel a little creeped out. And if he's hideous, my mind is also going to want to run away from thinking about him wanting my body that way. Maybe I think too much.
You're probably right about the feeling of vulnerability being part of it. But I'm not sexist. I wouldn't blame any man for having similar feelings when getting ogled by a woman who's far removed from his "type."
And pretty much every time I've ever been bothered, it's because the man also fell into the "creepy" category and was staring intently, making no effort to hide it (kind of like a wolf staring at a rabbit).
I hope I cleared up my politically incorrect statement and didn't offend anyone.
I think your explanation is very accurate and can definitely explain some of the differences in the emotional reactions of men and women on this subject.
I don't feel creeped on when any woman looks at me in any fashion but your explanation makes all the sense in the world why women would feel differently.
This , in a nutshell, explains the difference. Very very few men would be mortified at the thought of random women having their way with them. Might be inconvenient - but it's not terrifying. The ogling thing has come up on other threads, many men, including yours truly, do not get ogled. Very rarely will a woman cast an eye on me. And when it happens I tend to giddily announce it to my wife
There is evidence that this is exactly what happens. Attractive men can do things/ make statements that would be actionable if reported. They just don't get reported. Had a long chat this week with a (male) attorney who specializes in employment sex harassment cases. This is a thing. He works for employers by the way - he's not out there defending alleged harassers. But on other hand, harassment is based on the receiver's perception, and men get all in a snit because perception seems so nebulous (seems somehow unfair to guys). But per Melinda's and Conan's exchange, there is clearly a gender difference in the fear level of intersex interactions. Men essentially have zero fear. Women on the other hand need to have a highly evolved situational sense of fear of men. There is ALWAYS going to be a different perception of any encounter based on this difference. The law is not as unfair as guys tend to think it is
She's got a mono-boob.Sometimes, there's not much to see.
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Another deaf guy here. My eyes are "up" more than down these days.
EB your story reminds me of my worst day with decolletage. I spent decades training folks on computers. Back in the 90s had to work with a young woman lawyer who happed to be our/my best customer for our product. Her buy-in was critical. She was smart, focused....and gorgeous. During our session, one of her blouse buttons must have come undone. I realized that no matter how hard I tried, my eyes and brain were being overwhelmed by her...attributes. I started changing positions so as not to see, but she'd shift to follow me. I finally settled in behind a screen so I could not see much of her at all. I did not want to tick her off (and I'm 100% certain she was not coming on to me or doing any of this striptease on purpose). I did not have the courage to just tell her to button up. If it happens today - I'm deaf and looking at her lips...and I'm way more jaded. I would say button up maam. She never did button that button
EB your story reminds me of my worst day with decolletage. I spent decades training folks on computers. Back in the 90s had to work with a young woman lawyer who happed to be our/my best customer for our product. Her buy-in was critical. She was smart, focused....and gorgeous. During our session, one of her blouse buttons must have come undone. I realized that no matter how hard I tried, my eyes and brain were being overwhelmed by her...attributes. I started changing positions so as not to see, but she'd shift to follow me. I finally settled in behind a screen so I could not see much of her at all. I did not want to tick her off (and I'm 100% certain she was not coming on to me or doing any of this striptease on purpose). I did not have the courage to just tell her to button up. If it happens today - I'm deaf and looking at her lips...and I'm way more jaded. I would say button up maam. She never did button that button
Ok....Not really seeing them in public that much, but the gym is loaded with every Mary and Susan on the street wearing them, and many don't have the kind of ass in that photo, btw.....Here's another thing you gotta now worry about staying focused and not looking at.....And the butt isn't the only thing getting the "split" treatment....(so I am told, I don't look....lol)...There is even a new word created for this phenomenon....Beavage....😂
I dunno...Kinda disappointed in a lot of women these days..Understand, I care nothing about what people do, just seems so desperate to need to get this type of cheap validation...And the women in the gyms seem to spend more time trying to get the absolute perfect selfie of their butt crack to post online, than they do actually working out.....They even bring props with them to get the right aspect...smfh
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