Thx for posting. As male professional working with many, many women, it's important to hear this. I strive to make your sisters, with whom I work, feel like I see them as the highly trained professionals they are. I have to work with
them; I need them to succeed. But please, hear me back, it's a challenge. It's friction. It's effort. As Hamadryad says, I do (we do) have to keep it completely controlled - and I think most of us manage. But it's not just a "oh snap out of it " moment.
One of the most fascinating things I ever read (and I'm damned if I can find the link) was a description of the experiences of women, who were transitioning to men. Their reactions to large testosterone dosages was really interesting. Suddenly they were staring at EVERY woman they saw on a bus. They were noticing things they never noticed or cared about before (breasts). They had anger and impulse control issues. They lost 10% of their vocabulary. We, as men, are walking around with comparatively vast amounts of the chemical that causes this mayhem. We learn over a life time to control it, to redirect it, to make it useful. Of course, women manage dosages of different chemicals that affect their behavior. It's not like the poor guys are in this alone. But "our" chemical can directly cause a lot of the one-on-one disasters we see in work places.
Add to this that evidence strongly suggests that we (men) simply find women waaaay more attractive on average than they find us. If the averages hold up, Joanofcroc is mesmerized by maybe, at most 2 guys out of 10 she sees. Hamadryad (to throw him under the bus
) is probably mesmerized - or at least spends his allotted 2 seconds of staring time, on 6 to 8 out of 10 women. We are literally designed to be more distracted.
I expect to be working with a gaggle of late 20 something young women next week. And by God I will make them the best at what we do. But as least to this board, I'll confess that this will be harder than working with the gaggle of late 20 something young men that I will also see. My testosterone laden brain will not be mesmerized by any of those guys.