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One question for the men, and another for the women

4959 Views 236 Replies 49 Participants Last post by  RandomJohn1980
I was on the fence between posting this here or in Off Topic, but leaned toward here because the behavior about to be described can definitely affect relationships.

Fair warning - this is going to be a super-silly post and I fully expect to get flamed. But I will greatly appreciate anyone who makes an effort to take it seriously, because this has honestly been a pain point for me my whole life, and I'm just trying to get an idea of if I'm in the minority or the majority.

Buckle up, here comes the serious question that's going to seem utterly silly:

To the men: When you're talking to a woman who's wearing a low-neckline dress, are you able to focus on her face or eyes for an entire conversation without your eyes going "down there" at all, not even like for just a quick glance?

I'm going to be honest - I can't. I try and try and try but I just can't, my eyes always "go down there", I can't help it, and it's usually met by the woman hiking up the neckline just a little bit. Rarely do they look like it bothered them but they almost always seem to notice what I did and it's embarrassing. Actually, the harder I try the more likely I am to do it - hypervigilance can really screw someone up. Just wondering if other men have that problem too and/or if you USED to have that problem but managed to solve it somehow.

To the women: How often do you go out in public with a low-neckline shirt or dress, and when you do, how often do you catch men "letting their eyes go down there"? How does it make you feel when you see a man glance? I've had women in the past tell me "don't worry about it, just don't stare or drool" and I've always wondered if they were telling me the truth or just trying to make me feel better.

I'm done. Again, as silly as this post seems, I really hope at least SOME of you will respond seriously. Appreciating it in advance.
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Late in my career we called it trolling for a harassment settlement.
Shoot, I don't even blame the girls. I like it when people abuse the system in the most ridiculous ways possible. It just shines a light on how broken everything is.
She never did button that button :)
Reminded me of one of my all-time favorite music videos:
To the women: How often do you go out in public with a low-neckline shirt or dress, and when you do, how often do you catch men "letting their eyes go down there"? How does it make you feel when you see a man glance?

If you are generously proportioned, a shirt or dress that on someone else would be considered modest is suddenly "low-neckline." I definitely don't do super low cut on purpose. It's just a fact of life that people are going to check you out from time to time.

I am extremely put off if I'm talking to someone in a professional setting or a scenario where you want to be taken seriously like a bank or a school presentation and someone looks at my chest.

If it's a date then that's different. I'm deliberately dressing to (hopefully) appear attractive so would be flattered if my date was looking but as your friends advised you, staring and drooling does make it seem as though the only thing they are seeing is body parts and that they don't want to take the time to interact with you and know you as a human being. So some women might enjoy it in some contexts and not in others as long as you aren't focused on that to the exclusion of everything else.
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To the women: How often do you go out in public with a low-neckline shirt or dress, and when you do, how often do you catch men "letting their eyes go down there"? How does it make you feel when you see a man glance?

If you are generously proportioned, a shirt or dress that on someone else would be considered modest is suddenly "low-neckline." I definitely don't do super low cut on purpose. It's just a fact of life that people are going to check you out from time to time.

I am extremely put off if I'm talking to someone in a professional setting or a scenario where you want to be taken seriously like a bank or a school presentation and someone looks at my chest.

If it's a date then that's different. I'm deliberately dressing to (hopefully) appear attractive so would be flattered if my date was looking but as your friends advised you, staring and drooling does make it seem as though the only thing they are seeing is body parts and that they don't want to take the time to interact with you and know you as a human being. So some women might enjoy it in some contexts and not in others as long as you aren't focused on that to the exclusion of everything else.
I don’t dress provocatively, not on purpose. I bought a white dress with a lace top, spaghetti strap and thought, ill were this with my boots and a Jean jacket to cover up. It’s still too baring if you ask me so I’ve never worn it. Maybe I’ll save it for the next cowboy who needs me to get out and open a gate. Every man with land needs a pretty girl to open a gate. 😆

But even in not wearing low cut tops, covering my back, ect… I still attract the stares. Mine is from the inside out, does it bother me? Nope, I’m not going to dim my light to keep wandering eyes away, but I’m also not out there purposefully using my looks to draw attention. It just happens 🤷🏼‍♀️
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To the women: How often do you go out in public with a low-neckline shirt or dress, and when you do, how often do you catch men "letting their eyes go down there"? How does it make you feel when you see a man glance?

If you are generously proportioned, a shirt or dress that on someone else would be considered modest is suddenly "low-neckline." I definitely don't do super low cut on purpose. It's just a fact of life that people are going to check you out from time to time.

I am extremely put off if I'm talking to someone in a professional setting or a scenario where you want to be taken seriously like a bank or a school presentation and someone looks at my chest.

If it's a date then that's different. I'm deliberately dressing to (hopefully) appear attractive so would be flattered if my date was looking but as your friends advised you, staring and drooling does make it seem as though the only thing they are seeing is body parts and that they don't want to take the time to interact with you and know you as a human being. So some women might enjoy it in some contexts and not in others as long as you aren't focused on that to the exclusion of everything else.
Last summer I walked into a MINI (cooper) dealership to meet a client. They had all the people there wearing light blue T shirts emblazoned on the front with the words MINI in black letters across the chest.

The woman greeter was stacked like a brick **** house. She's like " hello, how can I help you"? I paused for a moment after taking it all in and said. "No. I don't think so" (as if I disagreed with the word MINI across her chest) it was way out of character for me, but it's almost like it slipped out, lol. She had no idea what I was talking about.

Anyway. I don't get why it would be so bothersome, as long as it's done inconsipicuously. I've caught women over the years staring at my body parts, some are even bold enough to say something. It never bothered me, but I suppose for women the dynamics are kinda not the same, so I get it.
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To the women: How often do you go out in public with a low-neckline shirt or dress, and when you do, how often do you catch men "letting their eyes go down there"? How does it make you feel when you see a man glance?

If you are generously proportioned, a shirt or dress that on someone else would be considered modest is suddenly "low-neckline." I definitely don't do super low cut on purpose. It's just a fact of life that people are going to check you out from time to time.

I am extremely put off if I'm talking to someone in a professional setting or a scenario where you want to be taken seriously like a bank or a school presentation and someone looks at my chest.

If it's a date then that's different. I'm deliberately dressing to (hopefully) appear attractive so would be flattered if my date was looking but as your friends advised you, staring and drooling does make it seem as though the only thing they are seeing is body parts and that they don't want to take the time to interact with you and know you as a human being. So some women might enjoy it in some contexts and not in others as long as you aren't focused on that to the exclusion of everything else.
If you wear something revealing, it's not exactly an accident. I had an ex who was around 150lbs with a size 36-38H bra. Not implants, just how her build is. She would buy size medium pants and 2xl shirts to cover up and she almost always covered herself up modestly. If you don't want people to see what you're packing, it's not too hard to hide it at least a little bit. I know if she could pull it off, then almost anyone could.
If you wear something revealing, it's not exactly an accident. I had an ex who was around 150lbs with a size 36-38H bra. Not implants, just how her build is. She would buy size medium pants and 2xl shirts to cover up and she almost always covered herself up modestly. If you don't want people to see what you're packing, it's not too hard to hide it at least a little bit. I know if she could pull it off, then almost anyone could.
Meh.
I feel comfortable posting that most women don't put much thought into it.
They get up, get dressed in something that won't bother them all day and go to work/about their business.
Some women work the Achilles heel of straight men, lot's of money.
The problem is that too many men are unable to differentiate between a woman who wants that lucrative attention and a woman who is going about her daily life.
A woman has no more control over her breast size than a man has over the size of his penis.

How lucrative is it? Plastic surgeons have found a way to put fake stuff in a woman's breasts to make them bigger.
Achilles heel.
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My wife, her friend and I were walking into an Asda store. Used to be part of the Walmart family for a whole.

A youngish woman was walking out and we didn't see her cleavage. We saw both breasts suddenly make a leap for freedom! As they popped out she gave an audible groan and she shoved them back in, only for them to escape again!

My wife's friend grinned at me and said "I don't think I'd like one of those puppies. Far too lively!"
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Meh.
I feel comfortable posting that most women don't put much thought into it.
They get up, get dressed in something that won't bother them all day and go to work/about their business.
Some women work the Achilles heel of straight men, lot's of money.
The problem is that too many men are unable to differentiate between a woman who wants that lucrative attention and a woman who is going about her daily life.
A woman has no more control over her breast size than a man has over the size of his penis.

How lucrative is it? Plastic surgeons have found a way to put fake stuff in a woman's breasts to make them bigger.
Achilles heel.
Saying a woman has no more control of her breast size as a man does his pecker size is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on here...and that's saying a lot.

Forget about the fact that augmentations and lifts are about as common as root canals these days, many women actually alter the shape/appearance of their breast with a variety of undergarments and blouses.

For guys "you get what you get and you don't get upset"
Saying a woman has no more control of her breast size as a man does his pecker size is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on here...and that's saying a lot.

Forget about the fact that augmentations and lifts are about as common as root canals these days, many women actually alter the shape/appearance of their breast with a variety of undergarments and blouses.

For guys "you get what you get and you don't get upset"
If this is the most ridiculous thing you've read on here then, in a strange way, I take that as a compliment.

The size and shape breast a woman is born with is just that.
Augmentation is exploiting the Achilles Heel.
Do they have penis amplifiers these days?
Not a billion dollar industry yet? What up?
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Meh.
I feel comfortable posting that most women don't put much thought into it.
They get up, get dressed in something that won't bother them all day and go to work/about their business.
Some women work the Achilles heel of straight men, lot's of money.
The problem is that too many men are unable to differentiate between a woman who wants that lucrative attention and a woman who is going about her daily life.
A woman has no more control over her breast size than a man has over the size of his penis.

How lucrative is it? Plastic surgeons have found a way to put fake stuff in a woman's breasts to make them bigger.
Achilles heel.
The point is, if you ladies want to cover those things up, I don't care how big they are, you can cover them up. Wear loose fitting clothing with a high neckline and almost all of those accidental cleavage problems are solved. It's not like someone else picks out your clothes for you, you pick them. Just like if my penis popped out of my pants every day, I wouldn't pretend I couldn't do something about it.
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The point is, if you ladies want to cover those things up, I don't care how big they are, you can cover them up. Wear loose fitting clothing with a high neckline and almost all of those accidental cleavage problems are solved. It's not like someone else picks out your clothes for you, you pick them. Just like if my penis popped out of my pants every day, I wouldn't pretend I couldn't do something about it.
If your penis popped out, lot's of us have wiped so many diapers we would just tuck it in for you and tell you to fix your zipper.
If men insist on getting worked up over random cleavage then knock yourselves out. Don't whinge about being taken advantage of and don't assume every time you get a woody the woman feels the same way.
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If your penis popped out, lot's of us have wiped so many diapers we would just tuck it in for you and tell you to fix your zipper.
If men insist on getting worked up over random cleavage then knock yourselves out. Don't whinge about being taken advantage of and don't assume every time you get a woody the woman feels the same way.
I'm not getting worked up about it in the slightest. All I am saying is that people have control over what their clothes show. You seem to be insisting that ladies simply cannot help it if they have cleavage or anything else. They just pop on whatever clothes they have and if boobs are popping out, it can't be helped. I'm refuting that. That's all. I never insisted that ladies return any attraction I have towards them or that I am being taken advantage of in some way.
Most women tart themselves up to actually knock back other women.

I know it may be a bit of a disappointment, but a lot of guys actually secretly mock women that go out of their way to try to get cheap validation..
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HarperLee - I'm going to threadjack, but I can't resist :) Why is it that women assume that when we guys get woodies - it's because we're worked up? I can't tell you how often I've sat in my parked car at 5 AM in the gym parking lot waiting for Sir Lancealot to finally decide he did not need to test the elasticity of my gym shorts or (worse) my spinning shorts. We get pop ups all the time for no apparent reason. Even my wife, who is brilliant, and has also lived with me for 3 decades simply assumes I'm lusting after HER when Dr J starts to make a jump shot. I don't try to explain this to her anymore, as I think it's cute I'm getting credit...but I could be watching paint dry and this could happen. It' s a little less frequent now that I'm ancient...but it's still happening.
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Most women tart themselves up to actually knock back other women.

I know it may be a bit of a disappointment, but a lot of guys actually secretly mock women that go out of their way to try to get cheap validation..
Yeah, the ladies that dress overly sexual, especially when not even appropriate, really do nothing for me. We used to call them tryhards. They are trying really hard to get attention.
We get pop ups all the time for no apparent reason.
I don't know how you guys live with those things! lol:ROFLMAO:
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when Dr J starts to make a jump shot
Def working this into the Vocab
Also wanted to point out the cleavage to Mr. dinkers popping out is not a good comparison since cleavage is fairly normal these days but if dinkers makes an appearance we’re ending up in jail and on a list.
I'm not getting worked up about it in the slightest. All I am saying is that people have control over what their clothes show. You seem to be insisting that ladies simply cannot help it if they have cleavage or anything else. They just pop on whatever clothes they have and if boobs are popping out, it can't be helped. I'm refuting that. That's all. I never insisted that ladies return any attraction I have towards them or that I am being taken advantage of in some way.
Yep, I am saying that some women have large breasts that genetics gave them. Most men don't know this, but it can be very difficult to find shirts/dresses that make them look like a nun.
I have never met a man who had a difficult time shopping for his crotch size but maybe I don't get out enough.

Yeah, the ladies that dress overly sexual, especially when not even appropriate, really do nothing for me. We used to call them tryhards. They are trying really hard to get attention.
Some women are just attractive, whether they are making an effort or not.
The 'try hards' as you put it, are up to the observer, aren't they.
Some men see easy prey or something done for them and other men see a woman who needs to build her confidence or maybe she doesn't dress for men at all and does not give a.
Best to not make assumptions.
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