Fair questions I think anyway.
One question for the men, and another for the women
I was on the fence between posting this here or in Off Topic, but leaned toward here because the behavior about to be described can definitely affect relationships.
Fair warning - this is going to be a super-silly post and I fully expect to get flamed. But I will greatly appreciate anyone who makes an effort to take it seriously, because this has honestly been a pain point for me my whole life, and I'm just trying to get an idea of if I'm in the minority or the majority.
Buckle up, here comes the serious question that's going to seem utterly silly:
To the men: When you're talking to a woman who's wearing a low-neckline dress, are you able to focus on her face or eyes for an entire conversation without your eyes going "down there" at all, not even like for just a quick glance?
I'm going to be honest - I can't. I try and try and try but I just can't, my eyes always "go down there", I can't help it, and it's usually met by the woman hiking up the neckline just a little bit. Rarely do they look like it bothered them but they almost always seem to notice what I did and it's embarrassing. Actually, the harder I try the more likely I am to do it - hypervigilance can really screw someone up. Just wondering if other men have that problem too and/or if you USED to have that problem but managed to solve it somehow.
To the women: How often do you go out in public with a low-neckline shirt or dress, and when you do, how often do you catch men "letting their eyes go down there"? How does it make you feel when you see a man glance? I've had women in the past tell me "don't worry about it, just don't stare or drool" and I've always wondered if they were telling me the truth or just trying to make me feel better.
I'm done. Again, as silly as this post seems, I really hope at least SOME of you will respond seriously. Appreciating it in advance.
Fair warning - this is going to be a super-silly post and I fully expect to get flamed. But I will greatly appreciate anyone who makes an effort to take it seriously, because this has honestly been a pain point for me my whole life, and I'm just trying to get an idea of if I'm in the minority or the majority.
Buckle up, here comes the serious question that's going to seem utterly silly:
To the men: When you're talking to a woman who's wearing a low-neckline dress, are you able to focus on her face or eyes for an entire conversation without your eyes going "down there" at all, not even like for just a quick glance?
I'm going to be honest - I can't. I try and try and try but I just can't, my eyes always "go down there", I can't help it, and it's usually met by the woman hiking up the neckline just a little bit. Rarely do they look like it bothered them but they almost always seem to notice what I did and it's embarrassing. Actually, the harder I try the more likely I am to do it - hypervigilance can really screw someone up. Just wondering if other men have that problem too and/or if you USED to have that problem but managed to solve it somehow.
To the women: How often do you go out in public with a low-neckline shirt or dress, and when you do, how often do you catch men "letting their eyes go down there"? How does it make you feel when you see a man glance? I've had women in the past tell me "don't worry about it, just don't stare or drool" and I've always wondered if they were telling me the truth or just trying to make me feel better.
I'm done. Again, as silly as this post seems, I really hope at least SOME of you will respond seriously. Appreciating it in advance.
1 - 20 of 237 Posts
I will admit I struggle with it at times. I will make a conscious effort not to, bur still happens sometimes. I never stare though.
Look, if a woman is wearing a low-neckline dress, she has shown to show cleavage. If she covers it with a shawl or something that is different. So I have no problem with looking, although, I don't want to creep her out by only staring at her cleavage. If she is wearing a pendant or necklace, I might even complement her on her choice of jewelry and tell her how lovely it looks then look directly into her eyes......To the men: When you're talking to a woman who's wearing a low-neckline dress, are you able to focus on her face or eyes for an entire conversation without your eyes going "down there" at all, not even like for just a quick glance?
.....
Will I glance, yes probably. Will I stare and gawk like a goober, no.
And they wouldn’t be showing off their cleavage if they didn’t want people to notice.
And they wouldn’t be showing off their cleavage if they didn’t want people to notice.
I will typically look the women right in the eye, but yes I must resist the temptation to look down, it isn't easy but I think I do a good job at it.
During the last couple of years I have noticed that many women who are wearing something like a button down sweater that they have open will be constantly pulling it closed to cover their chest. It happens no matter how conscious I am of looking them in the eye when talking. Most of these women are not even wearing low cut tops.
It seems as if a lot of women are ashamed of having boobs and feel they must cover them up and wrap them in foam padded bras to make sure there isn't a hint of their true shape or form. Long gone are the free days of the 60's and 70's.
During the last couple of years I have noticed that many women who are wearing something like a button down sweater that they have open will be constantly pulling it closed to cover their chest. It happens no matter how conscious I am of looking them in the eye when talking. Most of these women are not even wearing low cut tops.
It seems as if a lot of women are ashamed of having boobs and feel they must cover them up and wrap them in foam padded bras to make sure there isn't a hint of their true shape or form. Long gone are the free days of the 60's and 70's.
If you're staring at boobs because they're bared by a low neckline, the woman chose that neckline. You should still try not to stare because that's creepy.
It makes me uncomfortable to be around women showing bare cleavage. And I'm female.
But there are a lot of guys who will stare at your chest whether you have a low neckline or not. They are staring at the curvature of your boobs. They are staring just as if you had on a low neckline. And it's creepy. You shouldn't be sexualizing everybody you see.
I agree that the ones who intentionally wear a low bare neckline know what they're doing. But just because a woman has boobs is not an invitation. So keep your eyes in your head. Even normal clothes show off a body shape without any intention on the part of a woman to be an exhibitionist, and it is not an invitation.
There was a funny study years ago before all the dating sites studies that found that showing photos of women to men, the bigger a woman's boobs were and the more attractive the woman was in general, the more men in the survey assumed that she was or would be attracted to them back. Of course the opposite is true. Apparently it does something to a man's brain.
It makes me uncomfortable to be around women showing bare cleavage. And I'm female.
But there are a lot of guys who will stare at your chest whether you have a low neckline or not. They are staring at the curvature of your boobs. They are staring just as if you had on a low neckline. And it's creepy. You shouldn't be sexualizing everybody you see.
I agree that the ones who intentionally wear a low bare neckline know what they're doing. But just because a woman has boobs is not an invitation. So keep your eyes in your head. Even normal clothes show off a body shape without any intention on the part of a woman to be an exhibitionist, and it is not an invitation.
There was a funny study years ago before all the dating sites studies that found that showing photos of women to men, the bigger a woman's boobs were and the more attractive the woman was in general, the more men in the survey assumed that she was or would be attracted to them back. Of course the opposite is true. Apparently it does something to a man's brain.
I generally make an effort not to, and generally succeed.
However, sometimes something is just so outrageous that it is hard to avoid a glance.
However, sometimes something is just so outrageous that it is hard to avoid a glance.
No one sane cares.
I make an effort not to. I suspect most guys have an internal clock that they try to run so as not to over-creep a woman. A sort of two second rule. In a formal setting, I do very well. I've worked with women my whole professional life. Low cut dresses are not the norm at all, but some designs, even if professional, are figure enhancing. Oddly, women often mimic men by wearing a sort of blazer over a blouse, but that whole look (the V opening in the coat) was designed to enhance the male's chest. That V is meant to draw attention.
Where I have trouble is when a women suddenly comes into view or in range , wearing something revealing, and it was unexpected. I've been told by at least one female friend that my reactions are too visceral - too noticeable. Even being aware, not sure I have much hope here. It's a failing I'm aware of, but do try to control. But at my age, I think being thought of as creepy is just automatic anyway.
Where I have trouble is when a women suddenly comes into view or in range , wearing something revealing, and it was unexpected. I've been told by at least one female friend that my reactions are too visceral - too noticeable. Even being aware, not sure I have much hope here. It's a failing I'm aware of, but do try to control. But at my age, I think being thought of as creepy is just automatic anyway.
I'll look but not stare. If I get caught looking and she is all pissy about it I will tell her that if she doesn't want people looking she should cover up or stay home. If I hung my sack out of my fly I'd expect people to look at it. Look in horror, but look nonetheless.
It depends. If it’s at an occasion where I can look then I’m going to look. If it’s at work, church, I’m with family, etc… then no I’m not going to look.When you're talking to a woman who's wearing a low-neckline dress, are you able to focus on her face or eyes for an entire conversation without your eyes going "down there" at all, not even like for just a quick glance?
Well, I'll look. If it's a professional environment (NOT the oldest profession, to be clear), I'll behave as best I can, which is usually very well. Otherwise, if she's flaunting it, I'm enjoying it!
By wearing a low cut neckline you are basically making a giant visual focal point on your boobs. Even beyond the slightly suggestive overtones you’re basically asking eyes to glance at it just from a visual standpoint.
And I have a hard time believing women don’t know exactly that when they choose what they wear in public.
Same goes for those sweat pants with words right over the butt cheeks. It’s an intentional visual focal point.
And I have a hard time believing women don’t know exactly that when they choose what they wear in public.
Same goes for those sweat pants with words right over the butt cheeks. It’s an intentional visual focal point.
I might take a quick glance as we approach, but I usually can't remember much about most women other than their face.
Well, for the most part. I am big on modest bosoms and looking to see what is hiding can get my attention. I remember talking with a lady supervisor whose bosom was completely hidden behind tailored business blouse and trying to get some sense of what her bosom might be like. Can't remember a thing we were talking about.
Well, for the most part. I am big on modest bosoms and looking to see what is hiding can get my attention. I remember talking with a lady supervisor whose bosom was completely hidden behind tailored business blouse and trying to get some sense of what her bosom might be like. Can't remember a thing we were talking about.
I might just ask her "when a woman shows lots of cleavage, how does she want men to react?" Maybe she wants them to look so that she can yell at them? 
I’m the opposite but that goes for everyone not just attractive women. I can’t remember or recognize peoples faces to save my life. But strangely enough I remember people by what clothes they are wearing. In particular what color their shirt is and I end up forming an associated between that person and that color in my subconscious. Just my weird quirk I guess.I might take a quick glance as we approach, but I usually can't remember much about most women other than their face.
Well, for the most part. I am big on modest bosoms and looking to see what is hiding can get my attention. I remember talking with a lady supervisor whose bosom was completely hidden behind tailored business blouse and trying to get some sense of what her bosom might be like. Can't remember a thing we were talking about.
I frequently wear low necklines because it doesn't matter in my case, I'm in the Itty Bitty club and it would take a lot of padding and a lot of push-up to create even a smidge of visible cleavage. Accordingly, I never have encountered misdirected gazes from men.To the women: How often do you go out in public with a low-neckline shirt or dress, and when you do, how often do you catch men "letting their eyes go down there"? How does it make you feel when you see a man glance? I've had women in the past tell me "don't worry about it, just don't stare or drool" and I've always wondered if they were telling me the truth or just trying to make me feel better.
My best friend is a 42G or 42H or some crazy size and her cleavage starts about half an inch below her collar bone. The woman has to wear a turtleneck to hide it. I don't even think she expects eye contact from men any more.
The way I see it, if a lady is putting something on display, I am gonna look. If she didn't want me to look, she would dress accordingly.
Reminds me of woman once saw with shirt labeled with arrow pointing up and saying “Hello! I am up here.”I was on the fence between posting this here or in Off Topic, but leaned toward here because the behavior about to be described can definitely affect relationships.
Fair warning - this is going to be a super-silly post and I fully expect to get flamed. But I will greatly appreciate anyone who makes an effort to take it seriously, because this has honestly been a pain point for me my whole life, and I'm just trying to get an idea of if I'm in the minority or the majority.
Buckle up, here comes the serious question that's going to seem utterly silly:
To the men: When you're talking to a woman who's wearing a low-neckline dress, are you able to focus on her face or eyes for an entire conversation without your eyes going "down there" at all, not even like for just a quick glance?
I'm going to be honest - I can't. I try and try and try but I just can't, my eyes always "go down there", I can't help it, and it's usually met by the woman hiking up the neckline just a little bit. Rarely do they look like it bothered them but they almost always seem to notice what I did and it's embarrassing. Actually, the harder I try the more likely I am to do it - hypervigilance can really screw someone up. Just wondering if other men have that problem too and/or if you USED to have that problem but managed to solve it somehow.
To the women: How often do you go out in public with a low-neckline shirt or dress, and when you do, how often do you catch men "letting their eyes go down there"? How does it make you feel when you see a man glance? I've had women in the past tell me "don't worry about it, just don't stare or drool" and I've always wondered if they were telling me the truth or just trying to make me feel better.
I'm done. Again, as silly as this post seems, I really hope at least SOME of you will respond seriously. Appreciating it in advance.
1 - 20 of 237 Posts
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