Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,608 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This may be an unusual post due to my age, but I am 65, and currently dealing with a severe lack of sex in my marriage...

My wife is 2 years older, and says I am obsessed with sex, and it turns her off......

This after a LONG and HOT love life. I don't think we missed a night during the 1st 15 years of our marriage, except for childbirth, one motorcycle wreck, and periods.

And we made up for those misses with doubles, tripples, quads, and one afternoon with 5 orgasms on my part and 3 for her

She says we had so much sex in our early years (been married 46 years)I should have had enough by now.

To her credit she has had some health problems, and I believe much of her lack of interest was initially due to medication she was taking....elavil, xanax, pain meds, SSRI'S etc.

No man can compete with a bottle of pills....

She is currently on huge doses of neurontin for some nuuropathy in her feet........

She is only able to orgasm about 25 percent of the time, after thousands of times when she ALWAYS had a very intense climax.

What really kills me is that she was always reluctant to give oral, perhaps 5-6 times a year, and then it was "isn't that enough" long before I finished. I gave her her first orgasm through intercourse the first time we had sex, and orally before we had been married a year.

Recently she suddenly lost her reluctance to give me oral, and literally blew my mind with several FABULOUS BJ'S.

The first time, I had given her oral to orgasm, and she looked up and said "would you like me to do you now? AND SHE DID!!!!!!!!!!

As I climaxed I was literally laughing, and crying at the same time.....

The last few years we have used toys and vibrators, but right now nothing gets her off.

I am going to suggest that she gets her testosterone levils checked, and hope that supplaments will help.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44 Posts
Hey sounds like you and your wife have had a happy life together with lots of satisfying sex.

I read your post and my advice was going to be about getting a vibrator but you addressed that at the bottom of your post.

I agree and probably she would too, that asking the doctor for advice is probably the right course of action.

You both are good communicators so it doesn't seem like you have underlying problems in the relationship causing your wife to not want to have sex with you. Perhaps just confirm this with her and then talk about maybe making a doctor's appointment.

Good luck.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
812 Posts
Woodchuck I find it very difficult to give you any advice. You've had more sex in the first two and a half years of your marriage than I have had in mine in 15 years. She is now giving you awesome Bjs.

What the hell is your secret? How is such a good sex life possible?

Did she ever complain? Did you?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,696 Posts
run with the bj"s and quit complaining.

I'd like to hear her side of the story. I'll bet its different.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,608 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
I don't think my wifes account would be much different from mine...

What was my secret...I was really in love with a very beautiful woman......I can still remember sitting in my car in front of her apartment and seeing that beautiful girl in a pale yellow outfit walking down the sidewalk towards me.....

She had been in an abusive relationship, and I showed her she could trust and be intimate with a man without being afraid...

I was sensitive to her pain, and made a determined effort to nurture her blosoming sexuality.

She had never been allowed to explore her sexual nature until she met me, and I instinctively knew what she needed, and always placed her sexual pleasure above my own. She came to know that when I touched her, it would be a loving and pleasureable experience.

I can remember our lovemaking like it was yesterday. The first time in the back seat of my old 1958 chevy...We were so aroused we both orgasmed while I was still trying to penetrate her.....A few nights later, in her appartment, when she fainted from her climax....Bathing together in a huge old clawfoot tub where the whole world was nothing but warm soapy water, and skin sliding against skin for what seemed like hours...

I remember how she would sink her nails into my back as she climaxed, and how she cried when I showed her the scratches...

I guess I had a pretty big head by that time, but what young buck wouldn't be full of himself having a treasure like her....

After my motorcycle accident I was out of work for 3 years, and she was the most caring nurse a patient ever had.

By that time the kids were starting school, and it left us alone most of the day to entertain ourselves. It worked out so well, I volunteered for second shift when I went back to work, and stayed there for 7 years.....We spent long mornings in slow sensuous lovemaking......

I am retired, and our love life has hit a rough patch. She has had two sisters die lingering deaths over the past 3 years, and it has taken a heavy toll on her.

I hope that our life will slowly get back to normal, but I told here a few days ago that if our sex life was over, It would not change the way I feel about her.......She is still that beautiful slender black haired girl in the pale yellow outfit I see in my minds eye from almost 50 years ago.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,811 Posts
run with the bj"s and quit complaining.

I'd like to hear her side of the story. I'll bet its different.
Based on what?

The guy explains a lot and doesn't bash his wife at all, in fact he compliments her quite a bit, but he has a legitimate issue regarding sex and your advice is to run with the BJ and stop complaining?

Real helpful.

To the OP, I think a lot of the issue in decresed sexual desire in your wife is due to the issues you mentioned, medication, health and the stress from death inthe family. Not to mention she may be questioning her own mortality after her sisters passed away. I think the BJ frequency increase is her means of compensating for the decrease in sexual frequency. She's likely looking out for you in this manner.

I'm not sure if you have or not, but a sitdown discussion is in order. No argument needed, just an honest discussion about the issue and just ask her what she needs to make things easier on her. I suspect she'll be a very open and honest woman, based on what you have written and how you clearly seem to respect her and get along with her in 46 years of marriage.

Congrats to you on such a lengthy milestone.
 
  • Like
Reactions: CanadianGuy
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top