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In the words of Shug Avery (Color Purple) when her Preacher Daddy looked at her in disdain when she was walking into church with her man:

“I’s married now.”

My former SO had been moved out for a few weeks when he took our daughter on a trip during my scheduled time with her last weekend (with my permission). After not seeing her for more than a week I couldn’t stand it so on the day he was to return home (and still have her for another 5 days because I don’t have a car to get her to sitter), I called him and told him to bring her by here and let her stay until the next evening. I told him I was just going to call in and take off work. He agreed and said she had been cranky for a while, probably because her sleeping schedule was off.

When he brought her in, she was crying and he gave her to me saying maybe she misses her Mommy. i couldn’t settle her down either so he stuck around for a bit and told me he had been thinking about the 3 of us a lot. He just could not understand why if we love each other and love the baby, why we needed to be separated and tearing each other’s hearts up like this. So he kind of jokingly said “remind me again why we’re doing this?” Honestly, since I had been feeling the same way (I actually thought he had moved on based on our interactions at work when I would give him the milk I had pumped for the baby. It was just hello, how are you, thanks for the milk, have a nice day). So anyway I tried to explain it, but couldn’t get it out. So he just looked at me and said “you don’t believe it either”.

To make a long story just a tad bit shorter, we ended up getting the marriage license the next day, had a marathon wedding planning of slightly less than 36 hours, and got married last Tuesday in his Grandma’s little Pentecostal church. We managed to have 17 guests in addition to both our parents and our siblings and some of their children and spouses. We had a reception at a soul food restaurant of a friend of his family with 67 people that evening some of whom couldn’t take off work for the ceremony. I can’t stop laughing when I think about how tacky it all was, including the Dollar Store last minute decorations at the reception. We were exhausted the next day and stayed home but went back to work on Thursday where we were thrown a surprise wedding shower at lunch break. It was a gift card reception so it was great.

The minister who was counseling/helping me at church had been calling all week because I didn’t call in as usual. I ended up leaving her a voice mail that I would see her after church this Sunday to let her know what was going on. We both went to church today and after church we told her and she said she figured that we were back together and were planning to marry but was shocked that we already were. Then she said call the church on Monday for marriage counseling if we want a prayer of making this work. We decided we will go. H doesn’t think we need it, but says it can’t hurt.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/65166-i-messed-up.html

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/63845-crossroad.html
 
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