Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 39 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
57 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I have a 11 year old girl and 12 year old boy. At night when the kids are not around (shared custody arrangement) I would normally hang out in my boxer briefs with no issue. When the kids are around I tend to throw a pair of shorts on also but this is not as comfortable- I am incredibly warm blooded. What are your thoughts on walking around in underwear with kids around?

I do think it is quite natural and don't want the kids to be uncomfortable with their bodies so I tend to keep my shirt off at night regardless.

Good news is that I am a physically fit 40 year old man so the kids would not be grossed out by some large overweight guy in the house - this even makes me sick thinking of it.

Thoughts?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,292 Posts
I have found with my kids that they set the boundaries with things like this, they will tell me if they don't feel comfortable. The day they told me they wanted privacy in the bathroom is the last day I would go in there while either of them were.

Personally I have no probs with parents walking around in underwear but would stop if the kids made it clear they felt uncomfortable.

This is for bio kids, I would have much stricter boundaries for step children.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
16,640 Posts
With kids of any age present, I can see no reason to do the underwear thing. What's wrong with wearing a pair of sleep shorts, sleep pants, or even athletic shorts?

Your physique is immaterial here. After all, whose comfort should be placed first here: Yours because of your "hot-blooded" nature, or your kids, out of due respect to them and their feelings?

While the kids may not directly say anything to you about your habit of roaming around the household in underwear, I would think that there's more than a strong probability that they talk to each other about it, more often than not, behind your back!

I'd greatly say that as the adult there, "Respect those kids and place their feelings first!"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,461 Posts
Could be awkward at their ages. I do the underwear thing, too. Like you, I am always hot! My child is also an infant of the same gender as me.

Shorts are the way to go! :)
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
57 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
All good advice and why I do not do it today. I keep a fairly conservative position. What I can't control is when they come into the bedroom while we are sleeping but I feel they should understand that is our personal area as I respect their area.

And I agree with the other post that once their bedrooms became personal to them I stopped barging in though I do hold the right to check up in what they do or potentially hide in their bedroom- we have an obligation in my opinion
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
663 Posts
I love walking around with no shirt on, but I tend to put one on and shorts over my sleep boxers once I'm up when the kids are there. Even when they were babies, t was just the way I chose to do it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,104 Posts
Put shorts on. I was too meek to set that boundary (not that he would have listened anyway) but my dad did that all the time. He was tall, thin, fit and I still didn't want to see him in his underwear while say watching tv. It made me uncomfortable at that age.

That said I have girls and my husband does not walk around in his underwear however if they walk in his bedroom when they KNOW he is changing that's fine. It's also fine if they come in when he's still in bed. That to both of us is different than walking around half naked.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,204 Posts
I believe I would ask myself how I'd feel about my kids describing my attire to a courtroom, a social worker, or a criminal investigator. In such an arena, I'd rather mine be talking about Dad in his PJs as opposed to Dad (the fit 40 year old, proud of his body type) in a thong. I wouldn't worry about training kids to be comfortable in their bodies. In just a few years, your son will be wearing his britches around the bottom of his butt and your daughter will be going out half naked.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,335 Posts
I walk around in my underwear in the mornings. My wife always wears a robe at the very least. She usually sleeps in t-shirt and panties but won't leave the bedroom like that if the kids are home.

We have 3 kids, ages 10-15. All boys. If I had a daughter that age, I would not walk around in my underwear.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,246 Posts
If you're too warm, turn down the heat. Don't shed your clothes in front of your kids. Shorts, sure. No shirt even. But underwear?? No.

As for when you're in bed, if you want to sleep naked, close the door. They're old enough to be taught to knock before entering if the door's closed.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,505 Posts
Yep... put some pants on there Dad. :)

No need to parade your junk around in your tighty whities. 11 & 12? Dont think they arent examining your for biology information. Or at least - something to snicker about.

Put a shirt on too. Your suede sofa will stay cleaner. :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
319 Posts
Mine are boys, so W puts on sweats when leaving the bedroom. MIL lives with us, so I have to dress too. But perhaps if I get & wear some bikini underwear, her search for alternative living arrangements might become more immediate.:D It's worth a try right?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,369 Posts
My Dad came to the breakfast table after his shower in his undershirt and tidy whities when I was a kid - we'd eat our cereal and finish getting ready for school. Never bothered me. I admit the jiggle in the front made me curious about male anatomy. But he never ran around in them - he'd get dressed for work and never lounged around in underwear.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,986 Posts
OP you say you are a fit 40 year old, but what your 10 and 11 year olds will describe is an ancient guy in his undies. They will think of this as gross. Fitness will not enter in to their descriptions. Wear some shorts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10 Posts
Sorry, I'm going to have to vote for shorts. If they grew up with you in your undies all the time, they might not care. But if you START now with your daughter as old as she is, I promise she'll be uncomfortable.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,446 Posts
Good news is that I am a physically fit 40 year old man so the kids would not be grossed out by some large overweight guy in the house - this even makes me sick thinking of it.

Thoughts?
Well my father, once a fit, military man, had his last lot of kids older so he was very large, and overweight as we were growing up.

And he walked around in his underwear, and sometimes shirtless, pot belly and manboobs and all. He didn't seek our opinion on it, and he didn't present a grown man in his underwear as anything to be ashamed about.

Never thought of it as obscene, or scary. That was our normal. Kids know their normal. If they grow up with parents who walk around in the nude, that too will be their normal.

Problems only arise when you try and change things midway through. If they're in middle school and have never seen their dad in his underwear, then sure, it'll seem strange and confusing, and possibly gross, to suddenly see him strutting around in a pair of tighty whiteys.
 
1 - 20 of 39 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top