I have been married for 18 years. We have no children. About five years ago I discovered that my husband was spending thousands of dollars to visit strip clubs. Even had an online dating site profile. And when I say thousands of dollars the total was probably about $18,000. Even had a girl on the side Swore to me that no sex ever happened. So anyway after all that we both went through counseling. He admitted that he had a sex addiction And was addicted to strip clubs. I filed for divorce but then retracted back and we got back together. Since then I still am unable to trust him And constantly checking his phone and emails. Without his knowledge. So now our situation is he works all the time and he's rarely home. And when he is home he's constantly checking his work cell phone I feel alone most of the time. I have found no evidence since then that he is doing the same things he was doing before. My problem now is I just don't feel like I can trust him and I really don't feel like I'm in love with him anymore. We tried to start a new life But I just don't feel like this is working. Not sure what to do he says he loves me very much. I just don't know what to do. Part of me wants to stay and continue to work things out with him. And part of me dreams of another life. It's very confusing. And the bad thing about it is that he is still not repaid hid debt of $18,000. Meanwhile he wants to buy new things all the time. Every time we don't have enough money a month for things that we need all I think about is that stupid bill. Makes me so angry because I need a new car and I can't afford a new car payment because he has this credit card bill. We also need other things like new bedroom furniture but again I get so bitter because we can't afford it because of this bill. I think this is part of my problem it's like every time we need something or short as far as bills for the month I blame him because of this $18,000 credit card bill. I do love him but I think sometimes it's more like a friendship. We rarely have sex and he doesn't seem attracted to me at all. I just feel like I'm getting nowhere. It's been four years since all this happened and that credit card bills still around. He used to travel a lot for business that's how all these bills came about. He would visit the strip clubs while he was on business trips. He doesn't travel anymore for business.