My wife has had a crush on a surgeon she works with, I found out in August of 2011 when I found an email she sent him while on maternity leave stating that she missed working with him. He responded by stating "there isn't a day that passes where I don't think of you in the operating room" (he's a surgeon, she's a nurse).
August of this year I found a text on my wife's phone from a female colleague asking her to pop in his office on a Saturday morning. Thing is, it was the male surgeon's phone number under her colleague's name.
I told my wife flat about it, asked her and she lied. She lied repeatedly. I told her that I was going to install spyware on her phone because she put a password on it (I figured out what it was). She was okay with it, didn't seem to care.
In early September she received a job promotion and wanted to see the surgeon in person supposedly to ask for a refernece. She sent him a couple of SMS messages and he responded. He responded by simply saying 'come up to my office' and gave her the room number. During her lunch she went up, had 40 minutes at best. I did a call spy where I can listen to the surroundings.
What my wife said to this man was shocking! I am soooo hurt, not sure my marriage can be fixed at this point.
1. I found out my wife has told just about everyone at work about her unhappy marriage.
2. I found out that the surgeon did respond to an email she sent him while on maturnity leave stating that there isn't a day he walks into the Operating Room and doesn't think of her!
3. Here are some of the things my wife said to the doctor:
_____________________________________________________
Sometimes I feel like running away...
When I first saw you I had a feeling that...
I stopped texting you because you were so busy..I feel like I don't deserve your friendship..
I can't concentrate working around you...
I know my husband loves me a lot but I know I would be much happier without him..I really hope he finds someone
He really thinks there's nothing wrong with him...
To be honest, he was my first boyfriend so I guess I made the wrong choice...
I think you're awesome...
--------------------------------------------
The doctor was flirtatious during the encounter and basically left it open to have something go further with her.
On top of this I learned just how much she lied to me. When I asked her if she went to the doctor's offfice, she denied it vehemently. She also by the way had his number under 'another' colleague's name this time. Remember she changed it the first time I confronted her about him week's back.
She lied to me so much before I revealed the truth that I knew the truth about everything and had evidence via her phone. Instead of addressing an emotionally distraught husband which I was and am, she attacked me, threatened police, lawyers, etc.
It's been day-to-day with her since. I am currently off leave at work, told my boss that my marriage is in shambles and need time off. He understood and gave it to me.
I don't know what to do. I am working frantically around the house fixing things now, working out like crazy, trying to look my best. I am going to bed the same time as her and waking up with her even though my work hours are later. I try and be affectionate and she's not responding. She says she's tired. This has been her excuse for quite some time.
What do I do? Can I fix this?
Also, has the surgeon crossed the line? Has my wife? Can I contact the local medical association to ask what can be done? A doctor sending an email to a married employee nurse asking her to come in to discuss her personal life on a Saturday morning when no one's around isn't right. Well, good thing I saw the SMS and told my wife immediately or who knows what would have happened that morning. Neither was meeting with her, sending SMS' and the email about how he thinks about her daily last year.
What can I do about this? I am mad at my wife, but I feel I should atleast notify the local medical association about him.
I did speak to the surgeon, I called him. He said everything was above board and that they look into each other's eyes for 8 hours a day so he can tell something was wrong. So he offered to speak to her. That's his excuse. But again, his email from August 2011 and the SMS asking her to come in on a Saturday morning completely refutes this.
Anyone?
August of this year I found a text on my wife's phone from a female colleague asking her to pop in his office on a Saturday morning. Thing is, it was the male surgeon's phone number under her colleague's name.
I told my wife flat about it, asked her and she lied. She lied repeatedly. I told her that I was going to install spyware on her phone because she put a password on it (I figured out what it was). She was okay with it, didn't seem to care.
In early September she received a job promotion and wanted to see the surgeon in person supposedly to ask for a refernece. She sent him a couple of SMS messages and he responded. He responded by simply saying 'come up to my office' and gave her the room number. During her lunch she went up, had 40 minutes at best. I did a call spy where I can listen to the surroundings.
What my wife said to this man was shocking! I am soooo hurt, not sure my marriage can be fixed at this point.
1. I found out my wife has told just about everyone at work about her unhappy marriage.
2. I found out that the surgeon did respond to an email she sent him while on maturnity leave stating that there isn't a day he walks into the Operating Room and doesn't think of her!
3. Here are some of the things my wife said to the doctor:
_____________________________________________________
Sometimes I feel like running away...
When I first saw you I had a feeling that...
I stopped texting you because you were so busy..I feel like I don't deserve your friendship..
I can't concentrate working around you...
I know my husband loves me a lot but I know I would be much happier without him..I really hope he finds someone
He really thinks there's nothing wrong with him...
To be honest, he was my first boyfriend so I guess I made the wrong choice...
I think you're awesome...
--------------------------------------------
The doctor was flirtatious during the encounter and basically left it open to have something go further with her.
On top of this I learned just how much she lied to me. When I asked her if she went to the doctor's offfice, she denied it vehemently. She also by the way had his number under 'another' colleague's name this time. Remember she changed it the first time I confronted her about him week's back.
She lied to me so much before I revealed the truth that I knew the truth about everything and had evidence via her phone. Instead of addressing an emotionally distraught husband which I was and am, she attacked me, threatened police, lawyers, etc.
It's been day-to-day with her since. I am currently off leave at work, told my boss that my marriage is in shambles and need time off. He understood and gave it to me.
I don't know what to do. I am working frantically around the house fixing things now, working out like crazy, trying to look my best. I am going to bed the same time as her and waking up with her even though my work hours are later. I try and be affectionate and she's not responding. She says she's tired. This has been her excuse for quite some time.
What do I do? Can I fix this?
Also, has the surgeon crossed the line? Has my wife? Can I contact the local medical association to ask what can be done? A doctor sending an email to a married employee nurse asking her to come in to discuss her personal life on a Saturday morning when no one's around isn't right. Well, good thing I saw the SMS and told my wife immediately or who knows what would have happened that morning. Neither was meeting with her, sending SMS' and the email about how he thinks about her daily last year.
What can I do about this? I am mad at my wife, but I feel I should atleast notify the local medical association about him.
I did speak to the surgeon, I called him. He said everything was above board and that they look into each other's eyes for 8 hours a day so he can tell something was wrong. So he offered to speak to her. That's his excuse. But again, his email from August 2011 and the SMS asking her to come in on a Saturday morning completely refutes this.
Anyone?