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Discussion Starter #1
Figured since I keep posting I probably need my own thread.
My house closing got pushed off another day. Now my Stbxw just sent me a email just acting all sweet and stuff like nothing is going on. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks how she is in the arms of another man and after 13 years I mean nothing to her, but a friend she once loved. This hurts so much. I don't want to go home and have to see her face again. Now I have to for another day. Pretending like all is fine while all I want is to plead and beg not to let this all happen. blah blah blah.
I feel like getting piss drunk right now and breaking things.

I don't see how you people with children get through seeing your ex over and over.
I just want to grab her in my arms and hold her, kiss her and take her away with me.
I hate myself for thinking like this. I thought I was mostly passed it.

She wants to know if I want to go to dinner tomorrow night. Just best buddies who were once intimate so why not. /sarcasm I'm sure she is extremely happy to have this new great guy and be rid of the devoted husband (me) who wants nothing more then to be by her side, love and protect her and remain faithful to his vows. This hurts so damn much.

Someone just put me out of my misery already. :(
 

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Discussion Starter #3
We still have not separated yet and are living together. Though the divorce should be final by Dec. Its just tough seeing her everyday. I still love her deeply and she shows no signs of loving me the same since there is another man in the picture. She of course lies to herself about our past to make her decision easier, but all I can remember is the great moments with her. And with this other guy I'm suffering through some real self esteem issues.
Its just so hard to let go after such a long time. We never really had major issues.
 

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NoWhere, I'm sorry man. I know it's rough. We're all in our own situations so when you hear it from us, you know we fell your pain.

At this moment, I'm still separated and even tho when I see her every other day for a few min's to an hour she still acts like "we haven't been separated" I've stopped txting mine. She texted me last night 3 times/ 4 times? I think. I responded twice.

I know it's tough. Mine WAS saying the "I love you but not like 'that'" (she never said THE phrase.. always put it like that" Then the other day she said "I don't love you anymore" .... htat one hurt. I asked "at all?" she said "Well, maybe as a person"

It hurts. I know. It sucks. Just stay on the path and keep on the site, don't let it get to you so much. If you have a way to go out, DO IT DO IT DO IT... stop setting at home man. That's what my problem was...I couldn't force myself to go anywhere and do anything.

Good luck, I hope you get to feeling better soon.
 
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Dewayne76 I feel for you man, be strong , write here and stay on 180 no matter what.

At this moment, I'm still separated and even tho when I see her every other day for a few min's to an hour she still acts like "we haven't been separated" I've stopped txting mine. She texted me last night 3 times/ 4 times? I think. I responded twice.

I know it's tough. Mine WAS saying the "I love you but not like 'that'" (she never said THE phrase.. always put it like that" Then the other day she said "I don't love you anymore" .... htat one hurt. I asked "at all?" she said "Well, maybe as a person"
The Plan B Syndrome :(
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks Dewayne76

I'm days away from moving out for good. I'm going to cut contact with her completely and try and move on. I'm trying not to think about what I'm going to do when I am finally all alone. As much as it hurts to see her everyday I'd lie if I didn't say I'm happy when she pulls into the driveway every night. Its hard to explain. As much as I tell myself its over and as much as it hurts me I just want to stay with her and fix everything. I don't want this to end. Not now. Not like this.

Her dumping me for another man hurts me a lot. I end up asking what is wrong with me? Am I ugly, boring etc. I should know better, but I can't help myself.

I hope things get better for you as well. That's tough when you love someone so much for so long and they just flatly say they don't love you.
 

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NoWhere, I am really sorry you are going through this. I wouldn't be able to imagine still living with my STBXW while another man is in the picture. My wifemis staying at her friends place for now, and comes home once a day to pick up things (10 minutes) and leaves. Its hard going through that even.

I have been thinking of going to LA Boxing one day just so I can let off some steam on punching bags... Something active, or daring, makes you feel good about yourself. I have self esteem issues since I was young, and you should look for every opportunity to bring yourself up. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me, and I write poems to let it out. Its not good to hold in things, they will eventually trigger an explosion. Thats what started my entire mess. The explosion.
 

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I'm days away from moving out for good. I'm going to cut contact with her completely and try and move on. I'm trying not to think about what I'm going to do when I am finally all alone. As much as it hurts to see her everyday I'd lie if I didn't say I'm happy when she pulls into the driveway every night. Its hard to explain. As much as I tell myself its over and as much as it hurts me I just want to stay with her and fix everything. I don't want this to end. Not now. Not like this..
Dude, I feel your pain... but just know that when you do go NC each day will get a little bit easier. Having to see her everyday must be torture - I don't think I would be able to handle that, as much as I still care for my H-that-was (I say that cause he has def turned into someone who he wasn't before) it would tear me apart having to see him everyday - that's why I high-tailed it as soon as I could.

And it is scarey wondering what you will do when you're finally alone but that too will fade with time. Do you have friends you can hang out/reconnect with? That's been a real help for me - even thou I'm introverted the few friends I've reconnected with have helped me a ton, if not giving me advice but just being there and being able to take my mind off the whole situation. And it's also a good time to get into things you've put off/haven't gotten to do and have been wanting to.


Her dumping me for another man hurts me a lot. I end up asking what is wrong with me? Am I ugly, boring etc. I should know better, but I can't help myself.
I think these are normal thoughts, I've had the same ones, but I now see that they are really dumb thoughts!!! If they were true then what attracted her to you in the 1st place? I for one don't specifically go out seeking ugly boring people and I'm sure she didn't either. Chin up, man! You're better than those silly thoughts!!!;)
 

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I know man. I know. Mine even told me that she believes me when I say I'm not gonna be that way anymore, but I know it doesn't have anything to do with her leaving / cheating, but she says then "But I don't want you, even with you being so much better"

We just have to stick together through these times and get past things. Who knows, maybe our women just need to get things out. My first fiance called me up 7 years later, after my wife adn I got together, and told me how bad of a mistake it was and all that. Said none of it was my fault etc etc. GAWD I don't want this to turn out to be that same situation.

I think I'm afraid to move on... because of that. I don't want to be in that situation again.... I'm afraid that if I do, I'll get past loving her just enough to be happy and then BAM... comes back arms open. BUt man, we can't keep thinking about it. We have to just press on and go day by day. The things about getting a hobby, old or new, is FOR US... .. you gotta keep busy and let things make us happy again, not people. Even for just a few moments. Let some time pass by. I'm gonna go check out tattoos in a bit and grab a model car and some paint :p Don't have a place to do it really becuase I'm leaving my mom's.

We had a fight last night... over? Check this out. She texted me and said "What do you want for supper?" so a few texts later, after I told her what i'd like she went "ehhh" So I said "LOL wtf mom, just cook what you want haha".... she was PISSED and when I got here she said "I've been talked to for 34 years and i AINT TAKING IT NO MORE" I said "Good gawd mom, wth I'm not dad and that aint the same what's wrong with you?"

So yeah, I'm leaving mom's. Live in my truck probably.
Well, take care and try to keep happy thoughts man.
 

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NoWhere, I'm sorry man. I know it's rough. We're all in our own situations so when you hear it from us, you know we fell your pain.

At this moment, I'm still separated and even tho when I see her every other day for a few min's to an hour she still acts like "we haven't been separated" I've stopped txting mine. She texted me last night 3 times/ 4 times? I think. I responded twice.

I know it's tough. Mine WAS saying the "I love you but not like 'that'" (she never said THE phrase.. always put it like that" Then the other day she said "I don't love you anymore" .... htat one hurt. I asked "at all?" she said "Well, maybe as a person"

It hurts. I know. It sucks. Just stay on the path and keep on the site, don't let it get to you so much. If you have a way to go out, DO IT DO IT DO IT... stop setting at home man. That's what my problem was...I couldn't force myself to go anywhere and do anything.

Good luck, I hope you get to feeling better soon.
And you allow her to talk that way to you?



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Discussion Starter #12
OK I'm really about to lose it. The closing was suppose to be today on my house, after they have already pushed it back from yesterday. Now about 2 hours before the closing time my banker tells my realtor I need to get the windows caulked. Are you kidding me?!?!

I so much want to call him and give him a piece of my mind. I've already re-scheduled so many things and now will have to do it again.

The realtor said the banker dropped the ball on this. Nice. Like I need all of this now. Its like my life is in limbo with all my things in boxes gathering dust.

Sorry just venting!
 

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Keep venting, I am in your corner and like the chatter. You will not understand this but, You are a better MAN than this woman is. You are worth more, you have more value, you are head and sholders above her and you can do MUCH BETTER than her.
Now you are in pain because your are thinking with your heart and not your head. I understand, really, but you are going to come out the otherside of this much stronger. Keep posting
 

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Discussion Starter #14 (Edited)
Well just got the call. Now the closing is tomorrow. Just want to move on with my life. Now I'll have more time to live with the Soon to be legally X wife. :mad:

I love calling appliance deliverers,TV installers multiple times to reschedule delivery. Goes hand in hand with calling my friend again and asking if he can help me move yet another day. Oh joy.

In case you don't have your sarcasm decoder ring™. The above is sarcasm with a dash of annoyance, a splash of bleakness and a pinch of solemn surrender to the forces of the world that apparently enjoy slapping me around.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
Hey NW - just wanted to see how you were doing and how the closing went... hope everything turned out ok!:)
It went fine. They managed to get everything ready and I closed yesterday about 5.
Was moving stuff till about 1am. Then today I ate some breakfast and moved from 8 am till a few minutes ago non stop.. (9pm ) Skipped lunch and picked up a burger on my way home. Needless to say I'm dead tired, but happy to say I'm laying here in my bed in my new house typing this while my dogs are snacking on some treats. Got upset a few times while moving, but now I'm too tired to feel anything but my whole body aching. Ouch! I can barely walk.
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Take a good night sleep , tomorrow when you get up take a hot shower , as hot as you can hold. Don't drink alcohol.
Hope you feel better .
 

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So glad the closing finally went thru for you!!!

I hope you enjoy your new place, too.

Moving really sucks but the reward for your hard work is worth it - just try and take it easy today, unless you're like me and can't stand to have boxes everywhere so you feel the need to get totally unpacked asap - if that's the case, hang in there but don't wear yourself out too much.

Remember to take some time for yourself and your doggies!:)

Keep us posted as to how everythings going...;)
 

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Discussion Starter #19
That's me! Can't stop till everything is unpacked. Almost done with only a few more boxes left. Still have to pickup some more stuff from the stbx home. Was tough today going back and seeing the
place so empty. Hopefully I won't have to do it many more times. Have a few more things to get. Then I'm cutting contact. It drives me crazy how she acts so nice and normal like we are just best friends after she broke up our marriage, betrayed me and drove up a mountain of debt.

New place is starting to look like a home now. Though I need to buy some more furniture to fill the place up some.
Not to mention tons of little things I need. Luckily I've been so busy It's kept my mind off things for the most part
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That's me! Can't stop till everything is unpacked. Almost done with only a few more boxes left. Still have to pickup some more stuff from the stbx home. Was tough today going back and seeing the
place so empty. Hopefully I won't have to do it many more times. Have a few more things to get. Then I'm cutting contact. It drives me crazy how she acts so nice and normal like we are just best friends after she broke up our marriage, betrayed me and drove up a mountain of debt.

New place is starting to look like a home now. Though I need to buy some more furniture to fill the place up some.
Not to mention tons of little things I need. Luckily I've been so busy It's kept my mind off things for the most part
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Dude I am going through the same thing right now, I will be putting up a post on my situation soon. New apartment, empty place, need furniture.. and a wife who betrayed me, broke up our marriage and drove me into huge debt.

<bro hug>
 
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